4/7/15
Who Do Men Think Should Pay on a Date?

Advice from three of our guy friends. This week they answer the following: Who should pay on a first date?

Gay Committed Guy (Terence): A general rule that you can’t go wrong with: whoever asked their date out should pay. Real simple, eh? Now if you want  to be real smooth, then if A asked B out, then A should pay for the dinner, movie, show, ski trip, whatever, but B should offer up a scoop of gelato after the dinner, popcorn at the movies, or hot chocolate on the slopes. That’s what gets you both to the second date.

Straight Married Guy (Matt): I know feminists get all hot and bothered over this one, but I always liked to pay on the first date. It’s not like I expected anything in return or made any kind of big deal about it, but I just think it’s a nice thing to do. I usually asked the girl out on the date in the first place, so I felt like I should pay. If a girl insisted on paying half, I’d say, hey, you can buy me a drink later on. I think it’s okay to believe that women are 100% equal and still enjoy holding the door open for a woman, pulling out her chair, and paying for a first-date dinner.

Straight Single Guy (Colin): Don’t overthink this one. It should always be whoever asked the other on the date. That’s my stance and in this day and age, there shouldn’t be any other. If it was a fun mutual agreement to go out, then it’s time to split the bill. We’ve come way too far to stick to antiquated expectations of big male providers and women incapable of paying for themselves. Be modern, be equal. Or, if you want, you can use my trick where you pay the bill only because you need a reason to suggest a second date where they pick up the tab. But that’s only if it’s going well.

Our “wise guys” are a rotating group of contributors, some of whom wish to remain anonymous and some of whom like the attention. Colin Adamo is an undergrad at Yale University where he directs the biennial Sex Week at Yale; the other two are a little shy.

One Comment

  1. “Whoever does the asking” is almost always the same as “the guy should pay,” because women almost never do the asking. Also I’m assuming this is an early date here, before the relationship is established.

    The guy should pay. The woman should politely go for her purse, and the guy should nonchalantly tell her not to. If she insists on paying, the guy should let her.

    With this in mind, the smart guy chooses an inexpensive early date. This not only saves him money, but spares her the discomfort of accepting a large offering from a suitor she might not even like. Who pays for a couple drinks shouldn’t be a big deal for either person.

    If a woman can’t just accept two drinks with a demure “thank you,” she either definitely doesn’t like you or has issues with men that will become annoying later on. Either way I wouldn’t ask her on a second date.

    The guy should of course expect nothing in return – not even a second date. Two drinks buys you nothing but a chance.

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