Reader Derek said the following in response to the post, “Red Flags for Women Who Use Personals (& How to Avoid Them)”. Though we didn’t write this piece, we did choose to publish it, and we never considered the implications of judging someone’s grammar and spelling mistakes on an online dating site. Which is kind of ironic, given that one of us met her husband on an online dating site, and the other of us often types your for you’re or its for it’s when moving quickly.  And clearly we are both (a) deserving of love, and (b) total geniuses. Anyway, here’s what Derek said:

Now, I get the importance of spelling and grammar and all that, but don’t forget that some of us have learning disabilities. Some have very severe learning disabilities, but that doesn’t mean they are dumb, uneducated, or that they would not make a good partner. My brother has a LD that makes spelling incredibly hard for him(he spells words like they sound: hundrid, werk, etc) When he sends me texts it usually takes me a 10-15 seconds to figure out what he is trying to say. Here is the important thing: my brother is an amazing man, a great father, and a wonderful husband. If you judged him just by how he writes you would have missed out on a great guy.

While it may be hard to tell the lazy men from those who have learning disabilities, there are great men out there who don’t or can’t spell, use punctuation, or use your you’re their there appropriately.

Sorry, I just get a bit bummed out thinking about how hard online dating is on those men with learning disabilities and how some get discounted so quickly over something that they can’t help. Spell check can help, but it is hard to know what the right way to write is if you can’t even tell something is wrong in the first place. Telling the difference between your and you’re may be really hard for some people and not simple at all.

Still feeling judgy?
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