Advice from three of our guy friends. This week a straight woman asks,”I know that often a sexy attitude is sexier than a great body, but I can’t help feeling self conscious all the same. I’m 20 years old and though the general silhouette of my body is good (enough to get whistles and even car honks directed at me, which I honestly find insulting), I don’t like my body. I hate the cellulite, the stretch marks, the spider veins, wobbly bits, and moles I see in it. Would these bother a man as much as they bother me? Can a sexy attitude make them overlook those defects? How bad is too bad? Am I being paranoid?“
Gay Single Guy (Jay Dyckman): First off…wobbly bits? Bits can be wobbly? Who knew? Second, there is nothing worse than someone hung up on their physical appearance. Staying in shape is great, wearing flattering clothes is smart and staying healthy is a must. But otherwise, here’s a simple trick to feeling better (or at least not feeling bad anymore). Every morning look in the mirror and say – out loud – “I’ve got what I’ve got.” That’s it. Let it all go. You’ve got what you got so don’t spend even a second more worrying about it.
Straight Married Guy (David Jacobs): Bad news: we care more than you do — about the visuals, that is. But you knew that. The good news? We generally care more about the total package, not so much the minor details. (Moles? Whatever. And some “wobbly bits” we quite like!) Also, we often have different ideals of beauty/booty. Quoth Sir Mix-a-lot: “So Cosmo says you’re fat/ Well I ain’t down with that…”
Straight Single Guy (Tyler Barnett): There is nothing more attractive than a confident woman. A woman who carries herself well and feels great about herself is incredibly sexy. On the flip side, it is one of the most obnoxious things to hear a beautiful woman complain about minuscule flaws and imperfections. If you see yourself in a generally negative light you will give off that image, and it doesn’t sound like that’s your goal. I would suggest looking past the image in the mirror at what’s inside and determine if your issues are really physical ones. Insecurity tends to stem from various places, most of which are not located on the outside of your body.
Our “wise guys” are a rotating group of contributors, some of whom wish to remain anonymous and some of whom like the attention. This week’s Straight Married Guy is David Jacobs, a NYC-based photographer; our Gay Guy is Jay Dyckman, an LA copywriter; and our Single Straight Guy is Tyler Barnett of Tyler Barnett PR in LA. To ask the guys your own question, click here. To ask the guys your own question, click here.