6/23/09
Wise Guys: Do Men Ever Choose Masturbation Over Sex?

masturbationphoto by slushpup

Advice from three of our guy friends. This week a straight woman asks, “Do guys ever choose masturbation over sex? If so, why?”

Straight Married Guy (Ben): Sure. Plenty of times. Sometimes my wife isn’t around and I don’t really feel like waiting. Or sometimes she is around but really tired, or stressed, or pissed off at me. Sometimes, she wants to watch me do myself. Sometimes, I have a fantasy I’ve been working on and having another body with me would actually be a little, um, distracting. Sometimes, I just want to look at porn. Basically, I have lots of different moods and I find myself in all different types of situations and masturbation is just one tool I can use to be sexually expressive. It’s a good tool. I like it.

Gay Committed Guy (Mark): Ever? Sure, nothing wrong with that, or with a woman making the same choice. It also depends on one’s definition of “sex” — I don’t think I need to remind anyone reading this column that there are plenty of ways to get off besides penetration. But given the opportunity, whatever form the sex might take, I’d say it’s a rare guy who prefers to go it alone. So if we’re talking mutual masturbation with a partner: cool. But if he’s having a wank in the bathroom every night before hitting the hay, leaving his lady lacking: uncool.

Straight Single Guy (Max): The easy answer is uh… NO! My hand is not as sexy or as fun as a sexy and/or fun lady. If it’s a choice between lady and lonely… lady wins. I think all guys would agree. That being said, I have been in the situation where masturbation has been a better alternative. For example, in one particular relationship, which was riddled with power struggles, I chose on multiple occasions to stay away from the lady-friend in order to avoid the brainwashing that sex brought about. (You’re mad at me? Well… you wanna go to my room? Now then. What were we mad about? Very frustrating). Masturbation can be a real head clearer. Sex, on the other hand, can act as an amnesiac. On my better days, I can recognize this.

Our “wise guys” are a rotating group of contributors, some of whom wish to remain anonymous and some of whom like the attention. This week’s Straight Married Guy is Ben, a writer and artist living in Los Angeles who runs AdultParlorGames.com. Our Committed Gay Guy, Mark, is a writer and teacher in NYC and our Single Straight Guy, Max, is a recent college grad in New England — both asked us to file them under “shy.” To ask the guys your own question, click here.


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13 Comments on "Wise Guys: Do Men Ever Choose Masturbation Over Sex?"

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Jeffthebandit
Jeffthebandit
11 months 21 days ago

Ok, I do and here’s why. My wife treats me like shit. She hasn’t showed any real interest in sex since we got married and I’ve rather lost interest myself. I can go to my dressing room in the basement and rub one out, fantasizing about whoever I want, and be on with my day instead of taking a bunch of time pretending romance.

Miss christy
Miss christy
1 year 3 months ago
My boyfriend has sex with me 3 times a week. Sometimes My boyfriend has sex with me 3 times a week. Sometimes 4. Once in awhile he will let me go down on him, which I love to do! I’d do it daily! However he will masturbate everyday. Sometimes 3 4 5 6 times a day yet deny me sex or oral. It’s annoying and rude and pisses me off. He wouldn’t like it if I did that to him. I can’t even leave for 5 minutes and he’s already jerking off. I’m willing to have sex, give him oral… Read more »
Jeffthebandit
Jeffthebandit
11 months 21 days ago

Where were you when I was 20! LoL

SexlessSam
SexlessSam
2 years 13 days ago

I have preferred masturbation to sex with my wife for most of our 25 years marriage. I just found myself unable to get sexually aroused by her after a few years of marriage. The rest of the marriage was fine so I turned to masturbation. I’d love to have sex with another woman but don’t want to jeopardize the marriage.

airisc
airisc
2 years 5 months ago

My bf of 10 months does the same thing…so annoying i rather have him in me than in the shower or bathroom for 2 hours while he jerks off,smokes weed…and then i get nothing…and by the time i do, i’m over it…and it doesn’t even last long..i’m 18 and have sexual needs,wants and desires:,(

Ashley
Ashley
3 years 7 months ago
I hate it. My bf have sex with me once a week. He rather watch porn than have sex with me. What gets me and is when he say “we having sex tonight” but instead he wakes up at 3am goes to the living room and jerk off. Why do guys chose to mastubate instead of having sex with a sexy willing girlfriend? Once a week is not enough. He thinks its ok to have sex once a week and masturbate 3 times a day every day. Why? I need help. It puts my self esteem down and makes me… Read more »
Elco
Elco
3 years 9 months ago
I chose and prefer masturbation over sex because as a married man I cannot easily have the type of sex that allows me to become fully aroused. Ever since I was a teenager I haven’t been able to hold onto any sexual interest for a partner after two or three sexual encounters with the same person. This is not a matter of boredom but rather an actual physical reaction I have. What happens is after having intercourse a few times I lose all my desire and cannot function sexually. When I was single I got around the problem by simply… Read more »
eva
eva
6 years 7 months ago

in japan due to the increase of well all the new sex toys more males are choosing masturbation instead of well sex…this is causing the birthrate to plummet at drastic levels. The japanese government is working at changing this as to pay couples to have children and have a popular show about that teenage pregnancy is good (this is taking out the abortion rates of japan)

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