Wise Guys – Do Men Expect Women to Climax During Intercourse?

photo by foxypar4

Advice from three of our guy friends. This week they answer the following: Do guys expect women to orgasm during intercourse? Do they feel like failures if it doesn’t happen during intercourse or if they get the orgasm by some other non-intercourse means? Or do they assume it’s the woman’s “problem”?

jon_rossGay Married Guy (Jon Ross): In my extremely limited experience with women and intercourse (yes, there was that one time), I certainly did not expect her to orgasm. That would have been like winning the lottery: amazing but unlikely. While I didn’t feel like a failure when she didn’t orgasm — I would probably start to feel bad if it turned into more of a regular thing. However, if she orgasms she orgasms, whatever the method — it wouldn’t have to be through intercourse. I wouldn’t assume it’s the woman’s problem, but I wouldn’t consider it entirely due to my lack of love-making skillz either. From what I hear, getting women to climax is way more complicated and intricate than it is for a man — another bonus to being gay! We’re easy!

chris_diclericoStraight Single Guy (Chris): I don’t know a single guy that expects a woman to orgasm regularly during intercourse. I am certainly more than happy to try my best before, during, and after in order to cause one or several orgasms during the course of the night. I will admit that I have been with a small handful of girls (2) who have had extreme difficulties climaxing under any circumstances, and I find it very frustrating. Of course I try harder, and of course they feel worse, and of course it doesn’t fix anything. I don’t have a solution for that. Otherwise, relax and enjoy yourselves and something will happen.

Straight Married Guy (David): Expect it? We demand it! And if for some strange reason it doesn’t happen we’re devastated, and frequently fall into a deep depression — for at least three minutes, until we fall fast asleep. If however our wife/girlfriend/lover/secretary/boss/local barista finds a way to arrive by some other means — bless her resourcefulness! — we’ll sleep slightly sounder.

Our “guys” are a rotating group of contributors. This week’s Straight Married Guy is David Jacobs, a NYC-based photographer; our Straight Single Guy is Chris DiClerico; and our Gay Married Guy is Jon Ross of Boerum Hill Blog. To ask the guys your own question, click here.

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11 Comments on "Wise Guys – Do Men Expect Women to Climax During Intercourse?"

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Yeah…no. I have been with guys who couldn’t get me off but I never went to the default position of “well, I guess I should let a girl have a go at my lady-bits. From what I hear…there are enough women out there that can’t give a decent BJ so I doubt they would be any use to me even if I was will to switch teams to get to home plate!

Madamoiselle L

Jo said: “This is why so many women go bi-sexual.” Um, I don’t think sexual orientation is a choice….

Grrrr. Maybe men don’t EXPECT the woman he’s fucking to orgasm, but damnit I EXPECT to and I EXPECT HIM to do everything in his power to pay enough attention to me to facilitate this! By golly if I can give a 3/4 mast a twenty minute blow-job with a crick in my neck, lips that are going numb by the minute and loose pubes sliding down my throat WHILE taking pride in his release then he can damn well return the favor. This is why so many women go bi-sexual. If more men brought their women to orgasm regularly… Read more »
Madamoiselle L
Thank heavens My Man has never “expected” me to orgasm during just intercourse. Even from my very first time (when I thought, “Well, maybe it *just* will happen.” for some reason…..and of course, it didn’t. I was young and VERY inexperienced, what did I know?) he, however, knew most women don’t orgasm from intercourse alone. Some other guys, either have NO idea or just don’t care. Dated a guy who did nothing but finger the goods for a few minutes and then just plunge in and continually ask, “Is someone coming?” and laugh. I really wanted to say, “Maybe, but… Read more »
Gossa got zer

if i don’t come to her climax, I am not a man. She will disrespect me and cheat on me. What is worse is she doesn’t even feel guilty about her screwing up; but take it for granted. That leaves a man helpless which could end up with a disastrous breakup.If you don’t know how to do it man, learn.Don ask me the whereabouts of the school.


That’s why I announce it, so they won’t be confused lol, I hate when guys ask me if I came, if I freaking look satisfied, it’s because you made me come!


@Tom…yeah, I guess we women just expect you guys are a “done deal,” and that it always happens for you. And worrying about it probably makes it even worse! I we all could use a handy “on” switch at times…