Advice from three of our guy friends. This week a straight woman asks,”Do any guys have future children’s names picked out? How about a dream house? Wedding plans? In other words, do men fantasize about a future with love in it, just more secretly than women do?“
Gay Single Guy (Jay Dyckman): Uh, no. If that were the case, you would see Groom magazine on newsstands and men would sneak into tuxedo shops on their lunch hour with their best guy pals and try on tacky tuxes, just for kicks! Generally, men don’t fantasize about the process of obtaining the suburban dream. But I do think they fantasize about having a normal, functioning family full of love. And a nice car.
Straight Single Guy (Tyler Barnett): I would guess more men have names picked out for their penises then they do for their future children. We just don’t think about that. It isn’t that we don’t want kids, or we want to have kids without names (that would just be confusing) we simply don’t name things we don’t have. Names for men are born when there is something in existence to name. For example, when I first heard the lovely lady in my GPS I named her Susan. I hadn’t considered it before we met. As for houses, yes, every guy has a dream house in his head, and no, it looks nothing like yours. My dream house has a speaker system in the shower, a Jacuzzi in the bedroom and a flat screen on every wall. There would be a nursery but that’s where the pool table and Pac Man Arcade are.
Every guy has a different opinion of finding the love of their life. I figure when I find it I will know it, and until then I am not looking for it. After all, the best things come when you aren’t searching for them.
Straight Married Guy (David Jacobs): Future children’s names? How about “Oh-shit”? With two kids already giving us all that glorious grief we’re definitely done playing the name game. We already have our Barbie dream house/Brooklyn apartment, and our wedding plans were acted on ages ago. In other words, since I’m living a lovefest now, most of my fantasizing these days is about… my life before all this! Back then I fantasized plenty too, though rarely (at least that I recall) about the details of my love-filled future. Which isn’t to say I didn’t want one, I just assumed if I played my cards right it would arrive someday, and meanwhile I had other pleasures to seek. Like most sentient beings my heart occasionally went all a-flutter over someone, but even then I never really gave much thought to the trappings.
Our “wise guys” are a rotating group of contributors, some of whom wish to remain anonymous and some of whom like the attention. This week’s Straight Married Guy is David Jacobs, a NYC-based photographer; our Gay Guy is Jay Dyckman, an LA copywriter; and our Single Straight Guy is Tyler Barnett of Tyler Barnett PR in LA. To ask the guys your own question, click here. To ask the guys your own question, click here.