Gay Single Guy (Angelo Nikolopoulos of The White Swallow): I’m not categorically opposed to dirty talk, as long as my sexual soup de jour isn’t a complete moron. Which leads me to my next maxim: Sleeping with morons is permissible if they don’t talk. Obviously, if you make it a priority not to sleep with morons, this doesn’t apply to you — carry on with your foul-mouthed ways. But since I admire beauty in all its Neanderthal forms, I once slept with a man who insisted on calling my unmentionable a boy pussy:
Does your boy pussy need attention?
Let me tear that boy pussy tonight.
Is your boy pussy hungry for beef?
In this case, dirty talk — or all forms of communication, really — is problematic only in that it threatens to expose your partner’s verbal and intellectual ineptitude. So why risk a good thing by encouraging the potty mouth? In the end, there’s one maxim that always rings true: Less is more, sweetcheeks.
Straight Committed Guy (Johnny): In my experience, women who talk dirty in public are full of it — just attention seekers most of the time. The quiet ones are the real deal. So, in a lot of ways, I’m trained to get turned on initially by a woman who knows what to leave unsaid. Once we’ve become sex partners, in a naked bedroom context, things change a little. Talk is good, but walk is better. The dirty talk that excites me the most is a shocking, single instructional phrase which she delivers like she’s halfway scared of what she’s suggesting. Like, “come on my face” or “slap me” or “choke me.” Just leave out the corny porn dirty talk, like, “Ooh yeah, fuck my pussy with your big cock!” Cheesy.
Straight Single Guy (Chris): I’d like to ask you the same question and have you answer it with my huge throbbing cock in your mouth. (I like it. As for other guys, it’s not something I’ve talked to many of them about. I imagine most would like it with the right woman.)
Our “wise guys” are a rotating group of contributors, some of whom wish to remain anonymous and some of whom like the attention. This week’s Gay Guy is Angelo Nikolopoulos, host of an NYC queer reading series The White Swallow; Straight Single Guy is blogger Chris DiClerico; and our Straight Committed Guy is regular EMandLO.com commenter, Johnny. To ask the guys your own question, click here.