Advice from three of our guy friends. This week they answer the following: “What are most guys thinking when they wake up after a one-night stand?”
Gay Single Guy (Daniel): Seriously, it depends if a guy is sober and/or can remember how he got into bed with so-and-so. The alcohol factor is really important here. But otherwise, what a woman should not assume is that after the sex, a relationship is what he wants. If you are looking for something more, lay it out there without shame, and if he isn’t down with it, then move on.
Straight Single Guy (Mark Luczak): I have limited experience in this realm, but guys are thinking probably the same thing gals are, and nothing that would be too unexpected. We’re recalling the previous night’s events that led to the tryst, or trying to piece them together as necessary. We’re remembering the sex itself, of course, good or bad (if good, maybe even weighing the likelihood that everyone might be game for a morning-after encore), and starting to review whether anything happened that we really might regret.
We’re probably giving our partner-du-jour the courtesy of a comfortable wakeup to some degree (morning spoon or smooch, maybe even some coffee and awkward conversation), but we’re also very much starting to think about the exit strategy — picturing how we, or they, or both, are going to vacate whatever premises we’ve ended up in, as soon as possible, without being assholes. Maybe we’re already thinking about whether, despite
the stigma of a one-night stand, there’s any possibility of something moving forward, a booty call situation or even something more substantial (I’ve written before that sleeping together immediately doesn’t necessarily preclude potential for something more long-term). Past that, we’re just thinking about what’s going on that day, and what we have to do, but that hey, no matter what, we got some!
Straight Married Guy (James Glazebrook): Get out. GET OUT! Nah, I dunno. The closest I’ve been to a one-night stand is a couple of boozy one-offs with mates, one of which ended with a trip to pick up the morning after pill. Actually, standing outside a Croydon chemist on a wet weekday morning, waiting for my best friend to prevent the possibility of a wrong-love-child, the thought of running did flash through my head. No such flight risk after my one-weekend stand when visiting a friend in university turned into a tryst with her flatmate. After less than 48 hours together we’d already: stayed up all night talking; had period sex; held hands in public. Which should give you an idea about my commitment to commitment — and why I’m the last guy to ask about one-night stands.
Our “guys” are a rotating group of contributors. This week’s Straight Married Guy is James Glazebrook of Most Likely To; our Gay Guy is one-time stripper and sex columnist Daniel; and our Straight Single Guy is Mark Luczak, a tech geek at Carnegie Mellon University. To ask the guys your own question, click here.