Advice from three of EMandLO.com’s guy friends. This week they answer the following: “What are some sex-related things a guy will NEVER tell the person he’s dating?” To ask the guys your own question, click here.
Straight Married Guy (James Glazebrook): What he really wants to do. Openness is the key to any successful relationship — but only to a point. Just like a woman shouldn’t see her man shitting, she shouldn’t be exposed to the open sewer running through his fantasies. Besides, fantasies are fantasies for a reason; if they were acted out in reality, they could be harmful, icky or just plain embarrassing. A man doesn’t really want a whore in the bedroom, he wants YOU in the bedroom, and a bunch of whores in the dark dungeon at the back of his dirty mind. So do us both a favor, and don’t ask what’s in there.
Gay Single Guy (Daniel): My guess here is: previously cured STDs and times when he couldn’t perform.
Straight Engaged Guy (Mark Luczak): Generally, there’s a natural chronology to the progression of things, sex-related and not, that are shared as a relationship evolves from courtship to dating to exclusivity and beyond. I’m pretty much an open book, so usually it has happened to be me pushing the envelope of revelation at each stage, just in the interest of getting to know someone better, and vice-versa — it’s all part of the fun, and of course the disclosure of more intimate stuff (turn-ons, fantasies eventually) can be particularly exciting. I can’t think of much I wouldn’t tell eventually, other than some of the truly gory details of previous relationships that for all involved are obviously better left in the past.
Our “guys” are a rotating group of contributors. This week’s Gay Guy is one-time stripper and sex columnist Daniel; our Straight Engaged Guy is Mark Luczak, a tech geek at Carnegie Mellon University; and our Straight Married Guy is James Glazebrook, a British writer/illustrator working in Berlin with his photographer wife on their cool blog, Überlin. To ask the guys your own question, click here.