Advice from three of our guy friends. This week they answer the following: We know that men love boobs, but is there such a thing as too much cleavage? At what point — if any — does it become tacky to guys? Is it all about the situation and context?
Straight Married Guy (Matt): Yes, I guess there’s such a thing as too much cleavage. If I took a date to a wedding and she rolled up with 3/4 of her boobs out, I’d be a little embarrassed (and, okay — it’d probably turn me on at the same time). You see, my inner ape is endlessly fascinated with boobs, and seeing cleavage is always appreciated. But sometimes it’s inappropriate or tacky. I think all guys are a little schizophrenic about this. It’s like, man, that is a ridiculously cheesy outfit… but I wish I could see the rest of those boobs.
Straight Single Guy (Colin): I fall in love all over again with cleavage each day, but I guess when you really get down to it, there are a few specific contexts when it’s time to cover up. The scenarios are hard to distinguish. If you’re meeting my family, it’s a no-go on breast exposure, whereas if you’re meeting my co-workers, it’s totally okay. If we’re going to dinner, take them out, but if it’s Sunday brunch you might want to keep them concealed. If you’re a woman with real class, you’ll always find a way to pull it off. But please, double check with a friend who’s not afraid to hurt your feelings before you try something like J-Lo’s 2000 Grammy dress.
Gay Committed Guy (Terence): There’s no such thing as having too much cleavage. Showing too much cleavage, however, can be a situational no-no. As the bible says, there’s a time for everything that is done on earth. Let’s look at it this way (my way): Billowing cleavage in the grocery store at 10am and I crack a wry smile. Billowing cleavage in a dance club at midnight and I break into a shit-eating grin. It’s the same as a guy with his shirt unbuttoned down to just above his navel. There’s a time for everything. The bigger question is, who can pull it off well? That’s a matter of personal taste, but I bet we all can pretty much agree on whose cleavage/chest needs some covering up when we see it.
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Our “wise guys” are a rotating group of contributors, some of whom wish to remain anonymous and some of whom like the attention. Colin Adamo is an undergrad at Yale University where he directs the biennial Sex Week at Yale; the other two are a little shy.
Miss Scarlett, you can’t show your bosom before three o’clock!
Cleavage is sexiest when it’s suggestive, not pornographic. It should be soft. That bulging, pressurized look, where it looks like she tried to cram D-cup titties into a C-cup push-up bra, is not sexy.