Wise Guys: When Is It Okay for a Woman to Fart?

no_farting_signphoto by ab9kt

Advice from three of our guy friends. This week they answer the following: When is it okay for a woman to fart in front of her partner?

colin_adamo_100Straight Single Guy (Colin Adamo): Your five-year wedding anniversary. Some rather liberal couples will try to tell you they really don’t care about their partner’s farts (don’t believe them, they are crazy — stop inviting them to your dinner parties). I know you want to share everything with your loved one, but some boundaries exist for everyone’s benefit. This could be the secret barometer for a good relationship. The longer you can go without ever farting in front of your partner, the better your relationship will be. Your five-year is a fine capitulation-point because the two of you have probably hit your stride by now. But be careful, once this door opens, it can never be closed again.

terence_100Gay Committed Guy (Terence): When I was little I was told that holding in farts causes cancer, or loose bowels, when you’re old. So for the sake of your happy retirement, do both of you a favor and let ’em rip.

anonymous_suitStraight Married Guy (Matt): This is a tough one. I’d say after the first “I love you.” You’re safe after that. I know, it’s terrible to have to pretend until then, but some of us guys are under the (completely mistaken) impression that you ladies don’t fart as often or as terribly as we do, and I think in this case a little bit of a facade is a good thing. I’d still hope that after the facade falls there’s at least some difference between your farting habits and ours — but I guess I’m just old-fashioned that way.

Our “guys” are a rotating group of contributors. Colin Adamo is an undergrad at Yale University where he directs the biennial Sex Week at Yale; the other two are a little shy. To ask the guys your own question, click here.

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25 Comments on "Wise Guys: When Is It Okay for a Woman to Fart?"

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5 years 11 months ago

I agree that there shouldn’t be a double standard, but if you find it unsexy and your partner doesn’t respect your sexual desires, then you should get out of the relationship. Granted, dumping someone because they’re gassy is a little ridiculous to me, but if you find that it is seriously cramping your sex life, you might as well get out now before feelings get hurt.

Side note: my partner accidentally farted on our first date. I didn’t care, he didn’t care, and 22 months later we’re in a healthy, sexual relationship. And we fart in front of each other constantly.

5 years 11 months ago

I fart in front of my guy and he farts in front of me and we haven’t been together quite five years. But after about one or two times of me passing gas and feeling completely embarassed and humiliated by it – he finally said “Baby, I love you and I know that you fart sometimes. I don’t care if you do that in front of me.” And so we do. I mean if you’re all down for that kind of uh… restraint, then its whatever. But I think it’s kind of silly.

Though I must say, personally my toots almost NEVER um, smell. It’s just air. (Which apparently is weird, since I’m about half a step from being a vegetarian). Certain foods mean smelly gas and if so, I run to the bathroom… no one should have to deal with that. But a silly noise? Get the heck over it is what I say.

5 years 11 months ago

I always felt that the golden rule, treat others as you would want to be treated, has a sub-clause: the golden relationship rule. And that is if I can do it, she can do it; if she can do it, I can do it. I wouldn’t be disgusted with myself if I accidentally ripped one, why would I be disgusted with her? Sure, I’ll try to hold it in and go fart in another room, but that’s courtesy, not something to promote an unnecessarily contrived image of myself as perfect.

As long as excuse me’s are said, I’m cool with it. There’s no reason for bad manners.

Madamoiselle L
5 years 11 months ago

Elea, I don’t know why he does this. (I’m a nurse and I don’t remember this being covered in school, although there is a surgery for reflux which can prevent one from puking and sometimes burping as a side effect, he hasn’t had that surgery.) No idea why this happens. Just a variation with his GI.

And, yes, he has to do the same thing you do to get a burp out. Poor things. :(

5 years 11 months ago


Yes, that’s how I’d take it. If I thought she was just throwing rectal restraint to the wind and letting fly every time she had to fart, or even a tenth of the time, I’d tell her I don’t like it. If she kept it up, that’s what I’d call persistently, insistently unsexy.

Unless she called, “SAFETY!” afterwards.