Wise Guys: Why Do Men Cat Call?

Advice from three of EMandLO.com’s guy friends. This week they answer the following: “Why do men cat call?” To ask the guys your own question, click here.

anonymous_suitStraight Married Guy (Figleaf): I’m embarrassed to say that in my late teens when I worked on construction crews I’d join my, um, colleagues in catcalling women passers-by from high up on the scaffolding. And I’m pretty sure I did it for the same reason most of them did: to reassure each other, and possibly ourselves, that we weren’t gay. Or at least that we were all on the same page. And yeah, that sounds as stupid now as it actually was then. Call it homophobia-phobia. It’s a completely unnecessary anxiety that I think drives a lot of guys to do some pretty damaging stuff.

joel_derfner_100Gay Engaged Guy (Joel Derfner, author of Swish): Evolution. It’s mating behavior. I’m absolutely certain of this, because, as somebody not bound by traditional gender politics, I’ll tell you that the first time a man cat-called me, in the summer after my senior year of high school, I just about melted into a puddle of goo, which would have been unfortunate, given that I was driving at the time. But I would have been on my back for him in thirty seconds if he’d followed up. The power imbalance between men and women has made cat-calling inappropriate in our society, but at least so far the survival of the fittest hasn’t noticed.

Straight Single Guy (David Grossman): Men cat call because they’re rude, immature bastards. Real men know how to talk to women.

Our “wise guys” are a rotating group of contributors, some of whom wish to remain anonymous and some of whom like the attention. David Grossman recently graduated from Stony Brook University in New York; this week’s Gay Engaged Guy is Joel Derfner, author of Swish; and our Straight Married Guy is Figleaf, the guy behind RealAdultSex.com. To ask the guys your own question, click here.

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8 Comments on "Wise Guys: Why Do Men Cat Call?"

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4 years 6 months ago

I personally hate getting cat-calls. I am perfectly fine walking down the street without a peep. In fact, I prefer it. It’s the cat-calls and straight up disrespect from males that make me feel insecure. “Do I look slutty today?” “Like a hood-rat?” “Is this skirt too short, or shirt too low-cut?” If you must let me know I’m looking attractive, do so in a respectful manner please.

4 years 6 months ago

So many emasculated males who can’t speak the truth: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1_2LpLhOsc4

4 years 7 months ago

Ntop- Yeah, I’ve heard that about Italy, and I’ve always wondered why women feel differently about it in Italy. I’m thinking it’s mainly because of the actual words that they say. Usually when we get cat-called in the U.S. it’s noises or words that imply sex. And that implication coming from some random guy on the street and his buddies is usually not appealing for a woman. But if a guy simply said emphatically, “beautiful!” or “wow!” or “gorgeous” or whatever, I think women would be a lot less skeeved out and a lot more flattered and pleased. It’d be nice to think (wish?) that guys on the street are thinking more in the vein of “that woman is beautiful” rather than “I wanna f*ck that woman, don’t care who she is or whether she’s interested in f*cking me.”

4 years 7 months ago

I think the way in which catcalling is perceived depends on the country/culture. I live in Italy and catcalling is very common here; it’s not sleazy (although it does get annoying sometimes) but a friendly acknowledgment of beauty. A man may walk past a woman on the street and in passing and say “complimenti”, or “bella” etc – it’s not rude or stupid, it’s a compliment and should be taken as such.
Although I should add that depending on the area, such catcalls can sometimes get ‘creepy’ or slightly discomforting. But as with anything, it depends on the person as well as the situation.

4 years 7 months ago

^ Yeah, I agree. My girlfriend gets catcalled pretty regularly and it just makes her uncomfortable. (Dumb) guys may not realize it, but it’s threatening.

Actually, fuck that. Guys aren’t stupid – they realize it’s threatening and rude. I mean, if I were walking down the street and a bunch of girls started yelling at me and jeering and snickering among each other, I wouldn’t take it as a compliment. I would think they were making fun of me. And if it were a group of guys? I’d think they wanted trouble.

Catcalling is just stupid. Like I said before, it’s not a genuine attempt to meet a woman. I call bullshit on the “hot women bring out the animal in men” defense. The animal in ME makes a genuine attempt to meet a woman and ACTUALLY SLEEP WITH HER if I find her attractive.