Why Do Men Like to Spank in Bed?

Advice from three of our guy friends. This week they answer the following: Why do guys like to spank their partners in bed?Ask the guys your own question here.

james_glazebrook_100Straight Married Guy (James Glazebrook): I really took one for the team here. In the interest of sexual science and sound advice, I carried out some field research with the missus. My findings: I can’t write left-handed; a back makes a good clipboard-rest; and spanking… is…… awesome! No doubt it’s wrong on some level, linked to man’s sublimated urge to dominate women — to punish them, to control them, to baby them (with all the creepiness that insinuates). But hey, it’s fun, it’s harmless (at least when you have my upper body strength), and it works both ways. Any guy that won’t let you spank them — they’re the ones you have to watch out for.

jon_rossGay Married Guy (Jon Ross): While I’ve certainly engaged in the act a few times, performing as both the spanker and the spankee, I can’t really say that spanking really gets me going. However, I am a man and have a few theories about why some like it. It’s pretty simple: power. Without getting too psychoanalytical here, spanking puts the power in our hands, literally. And while most men wouldn’t dream of harming a woman, spanking lets us get out some of that bottled up aggression in a safe, hopefully sexy way! So ladies, if you like it, let ‘er rip! We all you know you hold all the power in the relationship anyway.

chris_diclericoStraight Single Guy (Chris): I’m not sure guys love spanking their partners. Sure, we love spanking if you love spanking, and most guys will do whatever it takes to feel powerful, confident, and manly in bed. Spanking is an easy way to do that. But really, I think spanking is a gateway behavior — an icebreaker to other more adventurous things. It seems to me that spanking, or more accurately, establishing spanking as ok, during sex is one of the best ways to add other fun boundary-pushing “enhancements,” like new positions, dirty talk, facials, photography, etc. I would argue that girls are far dirtier than boys, but far more sensitive to feeling slutty. The fear of being a slut is a barrier to more erotic sex. So you’ve got to ease into things. Spanking is safe but dirty, slightly slutty but cute. I would recommend to any guy looking to add to their sex life to start by spanking and then use that adventurous mood to introduce some other things, whatever unusual thing you are into.

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32 Comments on "Why Do Men Like to Spank in Bed?"

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I like to do it because I like butts! Lucky for me, my wife has a bit of a butt fascination herself. She actually spanked me first. She smacks my ass when I’m about to come. I love the feel of her soft booty in my hands, and the way her cheeks jiggle when I smack them playfully. I think spanking is fun and sexy when it’s with someone you trust.

I love giving a few mild spanks over the knee as erotic play. I do not think I ever left a pink mark. I never spanked without sex.On a few occasions, looking at a lovely bottom and caressing it resulted in my asking if I could have a rain check since the bottom before me was too lovely to spank. Instead, I preferred moving on to, shall we say, the main event. Sometimes with one lover, I would mention what she wanted was on the bottom shelf of the refrigerator. As she bent over, I gave a spank on the… Read more »
Maria Bari

Hi Everyone ! I totally agree with , and love, Jon Ross’s explanation best ! ( I do NOT think spanking is ” dirty ” or ” slutty ” nor do I believe most men wish to ” punish ” us – I certainly hope not ! ) no I much prefer Jon’s response plus he’s very cute and sweet looking ! Beautiful blessings…. – Maria


I have never wished to be spanked in bed–or any other time—Our sex like is very good and our marriage is very good—-but once in a while for something extra serious—I get my bare butt paddled by my wife—Its totally consenting and i sure got it coming—BUT MY BUTT HURTS Do not fantisize about getting spanked/ paddled it hurts and there are a million better ways to have sexual expression—-God! I hate the pain of a bare paddling! and i got it coming

Em & Lo

Thanks for your comment Name Withheld but — and we say this with love — your evo psych argument kind of falls apart when you consider all the straight men who love to be spanked.

Name Withheld
Mother Nature uses spanking as part of her strategy to reproduce life by any means necessary. Bare bottom spanking is the gateway to a woman’s vagina. Spanking is both a primitive and universally understood language between men and women. It is a signal of male dominance and virility. These were highly desirable traits at a time when survival of the fittest was of paramount importance. Physiologically, spanking guarantees a woman will lubricate. This facilitates penetration. Psychologically, it makes a woman more submissive. She is more likely to be receptive after being spanked. The old behaviors, passed from generation to generation,… Read more »

I LOVE LOVE LOVE to be spanked by my husband. It’s a huge turn on. He likes it because I like it. I love the feeling of my butt being hot after, theres nothing better than a hot and red ass during sex! He doesn’t spank me during sex, he spanks me before.