Advice from three of our guy friends. This week they answer the following: “If a guy’s partner told him that he could have a one-night stand with a stranger, no questions asked, and it was guaranteed that his partner wouldn’t freak out about it later — would most guys take their partner up on the offer?” To ask the guys your own question, click here.
Gay Single Guy (Daniel): Let me put it this way: if a guy’s partner gives him the okay for a one-night stand, he will keep it in his back pocket even if he never intends on cashing in on it. It isn’t really about going and doing it. It’s about having the option, and all men would reserve that option if you grant it to them.
Straight Single Guy (Mark Luczak): Wow, thanks to Em & Lo for waiting until I was actually in a relationship to hit me with this one — watch me tread like 7,000 times more delicately now. This falls under that always-entertaining “what if” umbrella — thought-provoking, revealing, even titillating, and always great conversation fodder.
My initial reaction was to latch onto the “stranger” aspect — does the fact that the guy wouldn’t know anything about the person beforehand actually lessen the appeal of the whole affair, or does it actually help with the disconnect of this one-time occurrence never to be spoken of again? It’s safe to say the whole idea would be incredibly tempting, especially since it includes the implicit approval of the partner (thereby distinguishing it from the same scenario but with the exception that the partner would never find out — a sequel for a future Wise Guys installment?). But if the relationship is strong enough, like mine — Hi Honey! — there’s no inclination to stray, even once, under any circumstances.
Straight Married Guy (James Glazebrook): The only way I can picture this happening is in a similar scenario to the Curb Your Enthusiasm series when Cheryl permits Larry one last fling, safe in the knowledge that he won’t be able to pull it off. My wife knows better than anyone how little “game” I have – it took me long enough to pluck up the courage to even kiss her. Besides, even if I could “seal the deal” I’m a notoriously bad one-night stand, only capable of performing in that sweet spot between being drunk enough to feel nothing and so wasted that I spew and pass out. So, all ethical considerations aside, I wouldn’t bother, no.
Our “guys” are a rotating group of contributors. This week’s Straight Married Guy is James Glazebrook of Most Likely To; our Gay Guy is one-time stripper and sex columnist Daniel; and our Straight Single Guy is Mark Luczak, a tech geek at Carnegie Mellon University. To ask the guys your own question, click here.