Your Call: BF Used to Have Sex on Table Where We Eat

photo by MinivanNinja

We get a lot of advice questions coming in at EMandLO.com, but sadly, we just can’t answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. Make your call by leaving your advice in the comments section below:

Dear Em & Lo,

I have been with my boyfriend for 6 months now. We have a very open relationship and we tell each other everything. He recently just bought a new condo and I was telling him I thought it would be fun to have sex in all the rooms (sofa, dining room table, kitchen, etc.)

I then, unfortunately, asked if he’s already had sex on his dining room table (because he’s had it a while).  Turns out he’s had sex with all of his ex-girlfriends on it! I know that’s what I get for asking, but now I’m sort of disgusted. I frequently cook special dinners for him, or we have stay-at-home dates, and we’ve been eating right where’s he’s had sex with his exes!

Obviously it would be completely out of line to even suggest he get a new table, but I don’t want to go anywhere near it. He has all these memories of having sex with girls right where we’re supposed to be having a special date. Am I being too sensitive, and how do I get over this?

— Spoiled Appetite

What should S.A. do?

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10 Comments on "Your Call: BF Used to Have Sex on Table Where We Eat"

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Yes, you are being too sensitive. That’s in the past.Why don’t the two of you have sex on the table? Then you can think about that when you see the table.


Wipe the table down. With bleach. Then have sex with him on it and you have effectively claimed your territory.


reclaim the table.. ;0) Have hot kinky sex on it, if you feel a little resentful or angry about it still why not channel that and tie him down on it and take charge and blow both your minds :0) or if that’s not your kink do whatever helps create a good enough memory to expunge any bad thoughts.. guarrenteed after that neither or you will see his exe’s when you look at it ;0)

Don’t ask questions that you don’t want answered. You asked, he answered honestly. As long as he wipes it down thoroughly between partners, I don’t see what the problem is. If you don’t want to hear details about his past sexual adventures in the future, you could warn him not to volunteer these details, but you have only yourself to blame since you asked in the first place. How do you get over it? Probably the same way he looks at the table without immediately thinking of sex: think of all the other things that table has done. I expect… Read more »
When I was 18 years old I walked into a room where my mother and my 16 year old sister were in having “a talk.” Without absolutely no warning, my mother asked me if I was having sex with my girlfriend. Her intent was to hold me up as an example to my sister. I was someone she respected and surely by example alone my continued abstinence would keep my sister on the straight and narrow path. My sister knew what I was up to with my girlfriend. In an instant I was forced to choose between maintaining my sisters… Read more »
In addition to the above comments, which have very good suggestions/thoughts, I have another idea to help you with your table issues. You’re right in that you can’t expect him to get rid of everything he has ever had sex on. You’d probably end up requiring to sell his house and move clear to another city, since he kissed that one ex-girlfriend in the park down the street, and had a first date in his favorite restaurant. But if you feel like you just cannot get over his sex table, and won’t demand he get a new one, why can’t… Read more »

So he has had sex on this table with another woman – and this means he’s got memories with her regarding that table.
But he’s got memories with you there, too. Memories of many nice evenings in which you cooked him wonderful meals, ate with him on that table and surely had many an intense conversation which may have ended in bed.

He may have a past with other women, but he has chosen you. YOU.

Just take the luck you have and don’t think/doubt it into pieces.