Your Call: How Can a Woman Enjoy Lots of Sex Without Shame?

We get a lot of advice questions coming in at EMandLO.com, but sadly, we just can’t answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. Make your call on this woman’s letter below by leaving your advice in the comments section. 

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Dear Em & Lo,

How does one go about feeling better about a very sexual personality? I realize I’m human and I accept sex and all that comes with it with open arms. However, our society does not. Obviously I’m not saying I sleep with the masses, but I do enjoy sex and I don’t feel I should have to hide that without being labeled “whore.”

– Sex Positive

How can S.P. feel better about satisfying her libido? Let her know in the comments below.

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9 Comments on "Your Call: How Can a Woman Enjoy Lots of Sex Without Shame?"

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screw society 😀




I will add my two cents and reinforce that to have your cake and eat it too, just be dicreet and filter your partners to ensure they’re not loud mouths. I am a guy and I love it when I come across a woman who is comfortable in her own skin and will flirt with me and go all the way if the circumstances are right.

Michael H
This is coming from this male’s perspective, take it as you may… You are absolutely correct that society has a double standard. It should be an obsolete puritanical belief system, however, still is alive and well to this day. Without going into the biology of it all, which is not to say it isn’t important, because it is, let’s just say that society has come to accept that men are “dogs that will hunt,” and for the most part have accepted that. Where the issues arise is when the “hunted,” enjoy the hunt just as much as the hunter so… Read more »

Honestly, unless you’re doing it with children or doing it in the front yard, it’s no one’s business. And if it’s getting around town that you’re getting plenty of sex, maybe the people you’re sleeping with are a bit sloppy with their conversations. It’s no one’s biz but your own.

I’m going to be a little contrarian here (especially for me) and say rather than be completely open about your sex life treat it instead as thoughtful wealthy people treat their money: proudly, without embarrassment, but also quietly. If it comes up in conversation consider being (gently!) self-deprecating: “I’m just lucky to meet such wonderful people.” And be non-defensive but indirect: “Well, it’s not that big a deal.” “I’m sorry, I’ll be busy next weekend.” You’ll never please everybody, but for lot of people the resistance lies somewhere their own obstacles and “must be nice” envy. Which is how most… Read more »
“I realize I’m human and I accept sex and all that comes with it with open arms. However, our society does not.” There’s a bit of a contradiction here. You say you accept all that comes with sex, but you are not accepting that society has a different attitude. Society’s attitude towards sex does not mean that you have to give up on being sexual. It may mean that you do have to be discrete. When you meet new people, wait until you have a better sense of who they are before fully opening up to them about your sexual… Read more »