8/19/11
Your Call: How Can He Get a Date? (Or Become Dateable?)

We get a lot of advice questions coming in at EMandLO.com, but sadly, we just can’t answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. Make your call by leaving your advice in the comments section below.

I am a 22 year old male college student about to enter my 5th year. I was not really into relationships and dating in high school or even before because the pickins were a bit sparse and everyone that was dateable was already in a relationship or just didn’t find me attractive. I fell in love a few times but either quickly saw things that I found unfavorable or let them pass without saying nothing. Then in college I thought I met the perfect girl but when I actually approached her about it, she turned out to be one of those stuck-up career-oriented girls and I can forgive the career-oriented part. Plus she wasn’t that into me. Since then, I have been looking for someone/something to fill that void. Then I tried looking at other girls but I quickly learned that my college is filled with girls like her who don’t want a relationship or have been in one since elementary school. I’ve put up with being pushed to the side for too long. Am I weird for never going on a date or being kissed at 22? I mean, am I that undateable? Is me never being in a relationship a turnoff for women my age? If I should start dating now, where can I go to find girls other than college because that pool has dried up for me at least. Please help before I end up the male equivalent of an old cat lady. Any help will be appreciated. Thanks!

— All By Myself

What should ABM do?

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28 Comments on "Your Call: How Can He Get a Date? (Or Become Dateable?)"

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DK
DK
4 years 6 months ago

Follow Mikey’s advice.

Reba
Reba
4 years 7 months ago
Easy..make lots of money…then you will be hounded by women night and day no matter how insentive, ugly, whiny, etc you are. Of course, the types of women you get will be beautiful but typically shallow and will dump you after they use you for everything you are worth. Or you can find a female friend who can be brutally honest with you and tell you exactly what you need to change (make better) about your looks and personality. We all have flaws but until we see them we always focus on other people’s. Other people are the problem, not… Read more »
anonymous
anonymous
4 years 7 months ago

First,dont look at every girl as “unavailable”some girls arent and are waiting to be asked.But do not just go up and ask.Make friends first then ask.Its a lot easier and she probably wont reject.Trust me.!

figleaf
4 years 8 months ago
Without going into particulars I’d say that … “my college is filled with girls like her who don’t want a relationship or have been in one since elementary school” …would make your school statistically extremely improbable. That would be true even if you’re going to one of the really intensive schools like MIT or Cal Tech where most students barely have time to sleep let alone date. I’d also say that Mikey, above, is on the right track about working on social contact first. When you’re dead lonely it sounds like the worst advice possible, but, from the bottom of… Read more »
mickey
mickey
4 years 8 months ago

hell no you aren’t weird!

i’m 27 and have not been on a date since high school (which was lame anyways). I either run into people who dont want to have a serious relationship, or people already in ones. But you shouldn’t let that discourage you.

There are people out there that aren’t tacky whores that may actually want to date you because you dont have any expectations or haven’t dated a lot of girls..

Elyau
Elyau
4 years 8 months ago
So…as someone who didn’t kiss anyone before I was 21, and now I’m 25 and have still never dated anyone (not a virgin anymore but waiting for the “right” person does have its perks, including the sexual health argument.) I’m slightly befuddled at your panic. Lots of my well-educated friends are in the same boat; in terms of relationships, we’re going for quality, not quantity. Oh, but ya I’m a really career oriented female so maybe that’s my whole “problem” according to your datable scale of women. I should just white-out my B.S./MBA titles and drop out of my PhD… Read more »
RetroRiotGrrrl
RetroRiotGrrrl
4 years 8 months ago

Once again Dannie, you couldn’t be more right!

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