We get a lot of advice questions coming in at EMandLO.com, but sadly, we just can’t answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. Make your call by leaving your advice in the comments section below:
Dear Em & Lo,
I’m writing for two reasons. I have finally found someone that I fit really well with, and I hope we’ll be able to form a lasting relationship (we’re both in our 40s/50s, and both divorced). As we are getting to know each other, I want to assure him that he is very special to me. Trouble is, I’m a highly sexed, multi-orgasmic woman. While I didn’t have a satisfying sex life during my 11-year marriage, afterwards, I was determined to explore all that I missed. And boy was I missing a lot! I have found over the last six years of being single, that when I’m with someone that I have chemistry with, I am easily turned on and I can stay turned on pretty much until exhaustion sets in. So I have been with quite a few men who are able to make me start coming after 4 or 5 minutes of foreplay, and then I’ll have literally dozens of orgasms over the next hour or two of play. Not all of them are huge orgasms, but it’s not like the first one is huge and everything after is less. And sometimes, when I’m really wound up, I’ll have a series of orgasms that just keep rolling out for a few minutes, even after my partner stops stimulating me. Suffice to say, I’m really happy with my sex life in general, whether or not the person I’m with ends up to be someone I want to hang around with long-term.
So my trouble is, my new guy is fabulous in many many ways, and he’s self-confident enough to know he can give me what I need. But I sense he also wishes that the pleasure he gives me was better than anyone ever before. How do I assure him it’s not the level of pleasure, it’s the person providing the pleasure and how much I care about him that really matters?
And my second reason for writing is, do you have any stats on how usual or unusual my ability to have lots of orgasms is? Are there stats out there somewhere for that sort of thing? I’ve just always been curious, but don’t have enough close female friends to be able to conduct my own poll. Thanks for any info you can offer!
— Lucky Lady
What should Lucky Lady do? And can you help her conduct an informal poll as to how usual her ability is?