Your Call: How Can I Convince My Girlfriend I Love Her Body?

photo by Bob B. Brown

We get a lot of advice questions coming in at, but sadly, we just can’t answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. Make your call by leaving your advice in the comments section below:

Dear Em & Lo,

How do I convince my girlfriend that I love her just the way she is? My girlfriend is overweight but I love her body the way it is. She thinks that I am just saying that to be nice, but it’s not true, I love women with meat on their bones and have told her that. How can I convince her that I love her body the way it is?

— Girlfriend Appreciation Society

What should G.A.S. do? Share your advice below…

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13 Comments on "Your Call: How Can I Convince My Girlfriend I Love Her Body?"

3 years 6 months ago

If your GF’s self-esteem and positive body image is build solely by your adoration, that’s not healthy for her. If you “own” her sexiness by being the only person in the relationship that believes this truth (that she is sexy at any size) that puts her in a emotionally dangerous position. Keep believing in her, of course. And keep telling and showing her that you sincerely feel she is sexy and you love her body, mind and spirit. AND find ways to nurture her self-image so that she can self-validate and doesn’t rely on external validation of her desirability. Body image counseling can do wonders. Taking classes together as a couple that encourage developing body confidence (like salsa dancing, yoga, or something else she’s always dreamed of doing that she thought she’s too heavy to do) Bottom line is, SHE has to want to change her negative body image. You can encourage her in a million ways, big and small…but she has to see it as a problem that she wants to solve. Doing so is deep emotional work and if you can support her through that growth process, you will find a woman that trusts you with every cell of her body. Best wishes!

3 years 6 months ago

Like everyone else said, words only go so far. Being a female that constantly fluctuates weight, I can say first hand that I notice the little things…the guys that won’t go near my stomach, and the guy that constantly rubs it and kisses it and worships it. Its no wonder why the latter dude provides me with orgasms and satisfaction no one else has even come close to!

Enjoy her “problem areas” (as she would say, of course)…not in a blatant grabbing type way, as that might make her more self conscious, but just in a truly enjoying and “worshipping” way…trust me – shell notice. And it will leave her with no small amount of gratitude, appreciation, and best of all, confidence!!

3 years 7 months ago

My friends boyfriend would always tell her he loved her body but she never believed him (they never do) so he bought her a dough nut everyday till she believed him. Sounds strange but it worked.

4 years 10 months ago

may not need to be stated,but here goes:

Compliment her at times other than when you’re trying to get lucky. I mean,you need to sweet talk (or whatever yall are into) then as well,but at other times also so she doesn’t feel that you’re just saying the right things trying to get in her pants! Good luck.

4 years 10 months ago

You just need to remind her that if you weren’t into her body, you’d already be with some waif like elfin creature and wouldn’t be trying so hard to convince her it her body you are choosing to be with and make love to.

But it isn’t going to be easy.After all, you are there with he now…by your own choice and not out of pity I presume.