5/16/12
Your Call: How Can She Get Over Her Girl-on-Top Fears?

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We get a lot of advice questions coming in at EMandLO.com, but sadly, we just can’t answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. Make your call by leaving your advice in the comments section below. 

Hi guys,

I’m a lesbian and have been for about 10 years now. I’ve only had two previous girlfriends in the past and have been with my current girlfriend for nearly two years. Things have been going great, until last month. My gf asked me to get on top of her during sex…I just froze. I’m too embarrassed to get on top during sex. I can’t physically bring myself to do it. I’m quite conscious about my size but my gf says I’m perfect. I just cant do it and I don’t want this to ruin our relationship. Please help, x.

— Reluctant Cowgirl

What should R.C. do?

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4 Comments on "Your Call: How Can She Get Over Her Girl-on-Top Fears?"

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jim
jim
4 years 1 month ago

someone already gave the answer that I was going to suggest, because it works – a blindfold. I put it on and she went nuts, she wasn’t freaked out by what i was looking at or thinking about, and all her inhibitions went out the window.

Bryan Sebeck
4 years 2 months ago
This is one of those instances where some more information would be helpful. How did your gf ask you to get on top? Was she fun and lighthearted or was it more like a command from one of those girl on girl BDSM scenes that lots of straight guys seem to love? You say that you’re self conscious about your weight, but nothing further. If you’re somebody who weighs 800 lbs (nothing against re 800 lb people out there) and she’s significantly smaller, you may have a real concern there. But, in absence of that, I’m going to assume that… Read more »
J
J
4 years 2 months ago
Well, if you don’t want to do it, don’t. Plain and simple. But if you want to give it a try, I recommend starting slow and small. If your self-conscious of your appearance, start with the lights off. Or, maybe bring a blindfold into your play time and blindfold your partner. You could also try just laying on top of her so your chests are touching. This position feels awesome (at least in my opinion) but you won’t be in such a visibly vulnerable position. Hopefully, this will help you build your confidence and ease you into more bold positions… Read more »
Diz
Diz
4 years 2 months ago
Maybe look up some positions in the Karma Sutra, or online… There are lots of different types of on top variations, some of which might be more comfortable for you, some a bit harder but perhaps you can work towards them. Perhaps explain to your partner that you feel shy, and if they pressure you, tell them off! Pressure won’t help! You have to feel like you’re willing and in control when on top! I feel very self-conscious up there too and it most certainly isn’t one of my favourite positions, but my partner loves it so much that I… Read more »
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