Your Call: How Can They Maintain Intimacy If They Can’t Kiss?

photo by Ezyan Y.

We get a lot of advice questions coming in at, but sadly, we just can’t answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. Make your call by leaving your advice in the comments section below:

Dear Em & Lo,

My boyfriend just had gum surgery and as a result, I can’t touch one side of his face for three months, and I have to be especially careful kissing him with tongue. I just saw him for the first time since his procedure, and I was too nervous about hurting him to really get into anything. Normally, I really love caressing his face when we make out. He said that we can still do everything else as usual, but I feel like I can’t have passionate sex without passionate kissing! Do you have any suggestions for me or us? I love him and we’ve been together for a year, but I can see myself maybe feeling less connected to him over the next few months because we can’t properly kiss.

— Sugarlips

What should Sugarlips do?

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8 Comments on "Your Call: How Can They Maintain Intimacy If They Can’t Kiss?"

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5 years 1 month ago

I am sure you will find a way just be careful and maybe its a sign you guys need to start talking more istead of kissing!
Good luck!

5 years 1 month ago

This sexy planet is a composition of enormous elements. The dominancy beyond all is sex & love. Cultivate this wonderfulfield
with heart rendering process.Otherwise the
beauty of life shall diminish &a sea of sorrows shall dive this world.

5 years 2 months ago

I can relate with your situation! There have been times when I’ve regularly had cold sores and haven’t been able to use my lips for (ahem) anything for up to two months, which is definitely a drag for both me and my partner. I’ve found that the more I just accept it for what it is and focus my energy on other ways of showing affection (cuddling, touching, talking, eye contact), the less of a toll it takes on our intimacy. When I’m stressing about it and feeling frustrated, that’s when the intimacy is effected and we both end up feeling disconnected and frustrated. Specifically, focus on your other senses, maybe try some sex positions that don’t center around being face to face, etc. When you do get to kiss again, it will be awesome!

5 years 2 months ago

Don’t see this as a hindrance; look at it like a challenge. Find new ways to ‘kiss’: literally, metaphorically, digitally, however! Make the wait something that will have you smolder with longing–the attitude you see this with is completely your choice.

5 years 2 months ago

This question makes me 1) want to point and laugh at the OP, just a little. and 2) feel sad.

I’m a military wife. I go long spans of time unable to physically connect with my beloved. There are a MILLION ways to keep intimacy alive. It requires thought, creativity, and true deep affection for your partner. If all you want from them is the physical aspect of intimacy, then your relationship is doomed anyway.