Dear Em & Lo,
I’ve been with my girlfriend for over two years and I still get very upset when other guys ask her to dance. I understand she’s not doing anything wrong, just going out and having a good time. I assume it’s because I’m just very scared of losing her. I think it sort of bothers me I feel like she goes out and gets all done up and then ends up on the dance floor which I feel like invites this contact.
I know many guys would feel proud or something that other guys are interested in their girl, but I suppose I am insecure. I don’t think I get overly jealous about most things with our relationship, but for some reason this drives me crazy. Again I understand the way society invites guys to approach girls and all is not her fault or anything, but I can’t help getting upset when this happens. I don’t know why this affects me, do you have any advice?
— Just a Jealous Guy
What should Jealous Guy do? How can he tame the green-eyed beast? Advise him in the comments section below.
yeap i feel same way. and nope its not insecurity. its if you love soneone and someone loves you then you really need to protect your relationship. it goes both ways. what value does this interaction have in a relationship. i can understand if one did not dance. but if you both do stuff recreational then your bond becomes stronger. its like the gym. no fuk way am i going to let another man workout with my girl. its opposite sex for a reason. and same for me im not going to dance with another women or be gym buddies. it can complicate things big time. its like tjis first you dance then they facebook instagram for froends then next thing you know hey my guy friend wants to do lunch. you mean a group or. no just meet up for lunch wtf. to that. i had a big blow up with my girl about an old friend flying in to town. he had been telling her intimate things about his marriage and i realized it was not good and i told her why. she was like we just friends. he does not know where to eat yiu dont know what he has been through. of course i bring u along . i said well any man who tells on himself sleeping around and telling another women is not good. why is he flying by himself not his wife kids. second marriage flying to see his other kids. i heard nothing more about. next day she all loving i love you. if its not business or mutual friends then i dont believe opposite sex lunch dates ect. are a good idea in a comiited relationship. what value does it add to your relationship. nothing just some piece off shit
It really depends on how the relationship is built and on their values. As a highly educated guy from a good family, I have very clear boundaries both physical and intellectual. This means that I become uncomfortable if someone gets too close to me. However, other people are educated differently and like to be flirty even when married. My current girlfriend comes from a very strange family with many divorces from both sides of the family. I strongly disagree when she goes out and I made my case very clear the first time that happened. I just told her that I don’t appreciate that kind of behavior from someone her age and in her position. I soon understood that she just doesn’t understand the types of boundaries I expect. That came as a huge disappointment. We are now on the downward road. We’ll see where it ends but definitely, definitely don’t compromise on such things. Really, don’t! The way she’s educated, your kids will be. Her values are soooo important because mothers spend a lot more time with the kids. This means that her values will become your kids values. I for one, would hate myself a lot if my kids would borrow her lack of understanding of physical boundaries.
im in a bit of the same boat, I hate when my girlfriend goes out and dances with other guys. Mine actually had the balls to dance with the nastiest, fattest, ugliest, missing tooth guy on fuckin New years. I dont even know what the fuck she was thinking. It wasnt grinding, it was dancing no hands but the little fucker was like “oh yeah, get it, get it” and that shit made my blood boil. I grabbed her and told her she better cut that shit out cause its pissing me the fuck off. I love what Kalle and Shargan say, you guys took the words right out of my fucking mouth. Its like you understood my situation and spoke my feelings without even knowing them. Fuck THAT SHIT! Get real johnny. I dont give a fuck what country your from, if your dancing with someone, one of the two people is probably going to be just a bit aroused. Thats some BS. BE A MAN! ITS TIME TO GROW OUR BALLS BACK AS A SOCIETY. Shit.
Omg are you people for real?
My girl ain’t allowed to dance with other guys and since she has common sense so she knows why.
I ain’t the jealous type, I know my own self worth. Women these days think it’s cool for them to grind on other guys, have sleep overs with their guy “besties” etc etc. And y’all “men” are allowing it to happen because you don’t want to be seen as “insecure” or “jealous”. Fuck that, you know you are dying a bit inside when she does this to you, the only real insecurity is not acting on it and say “either them or me” and walk the fuck off and fuck another chic. If you learn game, work out, and earn a good buck there is no reason in hell you should let a woman trample you, your sexual market value is way too high and will increase with the years while your girls will decrease after she turns 22. Be men goddamit.
Isn’t dancing supposed to be romantic and emotional? I understand that it can be fun to dance and all but I think even with my girlfriend, If I was having my hands all over another hot girl I would be getting sexually aroused by her. Which seems kind of lame to me when the woman I love is right there. It just seems like girls should dance with other girls if they have a significant other. Just as men should just have fun with the dudes if they are in a relationship.
Johnny,how are you able to read my mind! Great answer.
Jealousize indeed.