Your Call: I Said the Wrong Name in Bed!

photo by demi-brooke

We get a lot of advice questions coming in at EMandLO.com, but sadly, we just can’t answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. Make your call by leaving your advice in the comments section below:

Dear Em and Lo,

Need advice please on a recent verbal faux pas I made while in bed with my boyfriend of 7 months right after an intimate moment together. I called him someone else’s name in the throes of passion — my ex-husband’s, to be specific. It just came out of nowhere and I was more shocked than he was to hear it. I honestly was not thinking about my ex and cannot understand why that even happened, considering I have been divorced for 3 years now. I know in my heart it meant nothing, but to a man’s ego I am certain it was hurtful, and I’m thinking that my boyfriend may have second thoughts or doubts about what’s going on in my head. Any thought or suggestion as to how to correct this, or am I feeling guilty for nothing?

— Foot in Mouth

What should F.I.M. do? (See how we advised readers on this topic in our book Sex Etiquette here.)

Say Something

11 Comments on "Your Call: I Said the Wrong Name in Bed!"

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I did the same thing but on new year’s…. I like this man so much I called him my exs name when he was down on me and I wasn’t even thinking of my ex or anything I was with my ex for 2 years and his guy 3 months… I’m done with my ex But he is mad and it’s been couple of days but I notice things are different now I’m scared he will leave

Carissa moore
My boyfriend went to take my bra off during sex and reached down to the front of my chest to unsnap it. I don’t own any bras that snap in the front. We have been together for 5 years. Is this wierd? He said his ex always wore them and he had a brain fart. 5 years ago his ex wore them and he really had a brain fart? He also did look worried. And questioned me what I was thinking about after sex when I was staring at the wall. I did say to him after he tried from… Read more »
Hi, Totally know where you’re coming from. I had the same thing just yesterday and was trying to google for answers and found this page. I was being intimate with my boyfriend of 3 or 4 months and accidentally said the name of a mutual male friend of ours. It took both us a second to register what I’d said but when I did he sat up and said “what did you say?” and I searched for some way to escape but couldn’t find one and just covered my face with my hands. I know that it was just because… Read more »

Your response is exactly what happened to me and I couldn’t explain it or make sense of it. This just happened 2 days ago, so we are still trying to work through it… and I’m hoping I don’t lose him over this. What an incredibly hurtful and stupid thing to do to somebody so important to me.

I just had this issue to, but I was not in bed with my mate it happen while we were talking. This is what happened he was talking to me about how he came to places I was suppose to be and he did not see me there but I was if not he missed me about a second, in the meanwhile he said I was with someone else I tells him he is so insecure and he goes on accusing me of men and women. So I slipped and called him my ex-husbands name and he is upset not… Read more »
I was once in a relationship with a girl who was also having an affair with a married guy. Obviously, I was unaware of this other relationship which had been going on for 3+ yrs. Several months into this relationship she blurted his name out and told me she had said some other name, a girl that she worked with. The names sounded similar and I accepted her cover up with some skepticism. The astonishing thing is that she decided to arrange for me to meet this a-hole a couple of months later. We had dinner together, just the three… Read more »

This happened to me also, I used anothers name, quickly she shoved me away. Realizing what had just happenned I start rattling off other girls names with everyone getting a punch in the shoulder ,then she grabbed a pillow and started in by name 30 or she giggled and started laughing. I survived and was in better standings then ever before.


That really happens!?