Your Call: I Want My Wife to Have an Affair; She Thinks I’m Nuts

Tilda Swinton, open relationship poster child

We get a lot of advice questions coming in at EMandLO.com, but sadly, we just can’t answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. Make your call on the letter below by leaving your advice in the comments section. 

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Dear Em & Lo,

I would like for my wife to have an affair, with my permission. It is someone we met and she shared kisses with. He is safe and not a threat to our marriage. She thinks I am nuts.

I want her to try it at least once, and hope she will share the details with me afterwards. I find it very arousing. We have been married for 28 years, and she is still as hot and beautiful now, but does not have the confidence in herself. I think it might help in all aspects. She and I still have a nice sex life, so that is not the issue.

— Free Bird

What words of wisdom do you have for Free Bird? Leave your feedback in the comments section below.


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21 Comments on "Your Call: I Want My Wife to Have an Affair; She Thinks I’m Nuts"

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Let me tell you, from my perspective, there is nothing hotter than watching your wife getting it on with another guy. I was married to my first wife at 19. We were married for 25 years and it took about 5 years for me to get her Then she started to gain weight and didn’t feel sexy any more. This eventually led to a lot of issues in our marriage and eventually we ended up getting divorced. I met my second wife who I introduced her into 3somes/ cuckolding. She was really into it right from the start and I… Read more »
Hotwife hopeful
Very Hot!! I have had the same fantasy myself for years . My wife has known my fantasy of her being a Hotwife for years. At first she thought it was weird. Thought I didn’t care about her or that I was looking for a way for myself to sleep with other women. But I do love my wife very much and don’t want to have sex with other women. when she finally realized that we would talk about it during forplay. Sex would be really Hot. She would later say after sex she could never really do something like… Read more »
Hey quite alot same is happening with us , we are 29/30 cpls married from last four years. Although she have been fantasising this from almost 3 years but she never got confident on this, now a days she starting feeling that our sex life is being monotonous and she doesnt feel like that passionate feeling of love making. I introduced the idea of hotwife. But she doesnt want me to get hook just for sex. she want her to fall in love again ,s o she can re live that feeling of new love. Lets see what comes next.… Read more »
I am in a ‘cuckold’ situation in my marriage, but this took years of slow, gentle encouragement. At first it was just me whispering my dirty fantasies in her ear during intimate moments. After she had come to understand my desire, she started taking small steps to tease and please me. This happened most often while on vacation. In beautiful places with beautiful strangers. At first it was limited to small acts of flirting and a little exhibitionism here and there – often on the pretext of a dare. Most importantly, I never pushed her toward anyone specific. If she… Read more »
Im 22 and been in a long distant relationship for 4 years (first love for both of us) and I share similar types of feelings. My girlfriend started to talk to some lads explicitly through facebook which hurt me and I told her as soon as I found out. She then stopped. I ended up doing the same thing until she found me out. However lately I have started to develop feelings where I wish she cheats on me, whether it be me knowing or unknowing. So I made her aware of this and spurred her on to talk to… Read more »

JT said it best. Broach the subject carefully, move forward in a sensitive way and enjoy.


My husband has encouraged me to have an affair and it is totally adding spice to our marriage. We are very open about everything and he loves to hear the details. I think in general, our society needs to open up when it comes to sex and multiple partners. Humans are sexual beings – we should celebrate that, not hide it!! Hope it all works out for you two!

I think you need to tread very carefully here… just to give you my experience… my wife and I often talked about her being with another guy while we were making love and it really heated things up and she would often get really turned on by the idea (during sex) but afterwards not so much. One day we were at a nudist beach and walking through the dunes, this guy with a towel wrapped around him, flashed his semi-erect penis at my wife. She stopped dead and could hardly believe her eyes, we talked about for a few secs… Read more »