We get a lot of advice questions coming in at EMandLO.com, but sadly, we just can’t answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. Make your call on the letter below by leaving your advice in the comments section.
Dear Em & Lo,
My wife and I have been together for 15 years, married for 10. We are busy parents. I feel we are equal partners when it comes to parenting and managing the house. We have even carved out time to ourselves, 1 night a week, but more often than not she is too tired for sex, let alone anything new and adventurous. I feel we have reached a plateau in our sex life. It has been vanilla for the most part but less and less frequent-10 times a year, for the last couple years. I’ve broached the subject many times and we just reach an impasse.
I’ve always focused on pleasuring her and making sure her needs are met. I am not feeling reciprocated. I’ve tried offering to indulge her in anything she wants. I bought her a collection of erotica and she rolled her eyes. I gave her a gift certificate to a female friendly sex shop a year and 1/2 ago. She still hasn’t redeemed it. There are kinkier things I’d like to experience with her but she has ZERO interest in ANYTHING new.
I have been banging my head against the wall for the past 2 years and am starting to feel resentful. I’m considering broaching the subject of an open marriage or, worse, seeking out an affair. Any thoughts?
— Taken for Granted
What advice do you have for T.F.G.? Leave it in the comments section below.