Your Call – Should You Have Extracurricular Sex If Given Permission?

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Dear Em & Lo,

First off, I will say that I love my boyfriend. We are extremely compatible in almost every way. Except sex, and here’s why. About two years ago my boyfriend ruptured a testicle. Sex is now extremely painful for him and he has difficulty reaching orgasm. As a result we rarely have sex. We have talked about it a lot and there seems to be no easy solution. He encourages me to have other sexual partners but I am worried doing so will make him feel inadequate. We do a lot of S&M in and outside of the bedroom and I don’t want him to feel replaced. He insists that it is ok with him and that he wants me to be happy, but im not sure if i can. I almost feel like if he can’t have sex than i shouldn’t be able to either. I know its messed up, but im not sure what to do.

— To Screw or Not to Screw?

What should “Screw” do? Advise her below…

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15 Comments on "Your Call – Should You Have Extracurricular Sex If Given Permission?"

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So I am pretty sure I am in the minority, but I do think it can work & can help the relationship. A couple of posters were harsh about not wanting to have it removed because of his career – really? I find it very hard to imagine anyone I know man or woman giving up their career for sex – it is not the end of their relationship – it is a part of it. There are all kinds of intimacy and yes ways to satisfy her without sex – but the pure physical act of sex it very… Read more »

Oh, and while it may seem like a good solution to you that she do this, what are you going to do if she gets pregnant by another guy and he asks her to marry him?


Why not have it removed and do testosterone replacement drugs?

also need some

he has CLEARLY made HIS choice – career over sex with his partner ! Time for you to choose if you can deal or not!

I just don’t see how your relationship would ever or could ever last in a situation like this. It doesn’t sound to me like the author wants to have sex with other men but the boyfriend is saying that he will NOT remove the testicle which is causing the pain and problem to have a completly normal and happy sex life because he is a professional athlete. I think that everyone needs to feel that connection with thier partner to have a lasting relationship. If she is always getting sex from somewhere else,she will more than likely end up developing… Read more »
The Other Half of To Screw or Not To Screw !
Hi, first and foremost, my Girlfriend (author) just showed me her posting. Let it be known that I do feel guilt that I cannot endure intercourse with her; but I can’t. I’m going to answer questions quickly and go back to eating my bagel, maybe this will help. – I cannot remove the testicle, as I am a professional Athlete, and, while yes, 1 little dude still produces most of the Testosterone that a normal male would need for day to day activities, the very true fact is That I am anything but a normal male. Far from it, and… Read more »
Black Iris
No answers, just a lot of questions. Are you planning on staying with him forever? Do you want to have kids? Can he? Would you be able to live without sex or do you think you’d end up breaking up with him? Do you think he is suggesting this because he is afraid he will lose you otherwise? Would he enjoy watching you with others? You seem to still have a sex life, just no intercourse – are you dissatisfied with that or is he the one feeling inadequate at not being a proper man? Do you think that if… Read more »