3/30/10
Your Call: Trust Issues That Are 20 Years Old

Dear Em & Lo,

I dated a guy 20 years ago for about 8 months and he recently found me online. We broke up originally because of me, I was 19 and really thought that I was in love with the guy I cheated on him with. I had a child with the guy I cheated with.

Here I am 20 years on, we both have been married and divorced, and I never thought our paths would ever cross again and we have now been dating now for 4 months and it’s unbelievable. I honestly don’t know why I ever let him go, he’s a great guy, and, I won’t lie, the sex is beyond and above what I remember (WOW).

My thing is, I know he doesn’t trust me and I can totally understand that, but I am truly in love with this guy. I kind of feel like my feelings for him never disappeared. He doesn’t believe that when I tell him because he asks me all the time how can I love him so much, but should I be worried? I know trust is everything but he’s told me that he isn’t 100% with me yet, and I would do anything for this guy, and I mean anything… Do I wait? Do I say no way and let it go? I’m not the same person I was 20 years ago….

— The One Who Got Away

What should The One Who Got Away do? Can this relationship be saved, or are trust issues that are 20 years in the making too much to get beyond? Leave your advice in the comments section below.

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20 Comments on "Your Call: Trust Issues That Are 20 Years Old"

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Laura
Laura
6 years 22 days ago

OMG – I learned my lesson NEVER go back, only bad things can happen! Shut the door, lock it, build a brick wall!

SS
SS
6 years 25 days ago

….and lattes, and milkshakes, and ice cream….

Johnny
Johnny
6 years 25 days ago

^^ Come to think of it, as I said in the “virgins” posts, there’s no way I’d “buy the cow” UNLESS I got a little taste of the milk up front!

Mmmm…. milk…

Johnny
Johnny
6 years 25 days ago

I’m with you, Mml. L. The cow/milk thing is supremely dumb.

Madamoiselle L
Madamoiselle L
6 years 25 days ago
“observer” that was a pretty mean post. If this couple made love in the past or the present, HE did the same thing, at the same speed which SHE did. How does that make HER “Easy?” There is NOTHING I HATE as much as the STUPID, PATRIARCHAL, MISOGYNIST bullshit “analogy” “He won’t buy the cow if he can get the milk for free.” Those who use this “analogy” ASSume that women “give” sex and men “take.” They also assume that, for women, sex is only a Commodity, a means of getting “other things” from a man. Not a means of… Read more »
juddy
juddy
6 years 25 days ago

Girl, back off! you are courting trouble for yourself. This world has 3billion male spicies, why would you circulate around one, all in the name of love and great sex.
This guy is setting you up revenge

observer
6 years 27 days ago

It is amazing to me that people today think, “IT IS OKAY TO ENGAGE IN SEX WITHOUT TRUST!” CHEMISTRY IS A SUBJECT TAUGHT IN SCHOOL THAT FEW PEOPLE MASTER. WHAT APPEARS TO BE GOOD CHEMISTRY MAY BE A DISASTER IN THE MAKING. JUST BECAUSE YOU GOOD AT SEX DOES NOT MEAN YOU ARE GOOD FOR EACH OTHER. HE REMEMBERED YOU WERE EASY AND WHAT GUY IS WILLING TO PASS GOOD FREE HOT SEX. NOW THAT HE IS GETTING THE MILK FOR FREE HE HAS NO NEED TO BUY THE COW.

GO0T MILK!

wpDiscuz