We get a lot of advice questions coming in at EMandLO.com, but sadly, we just can’t answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. Make your call on the letter below by leaving your advice in the comments section.
Dear Em & Lo,
My boyfriend and I have been together for more than 3 years now. We met and quickly fell in love. He left his current girlfriend for me and we had what I would call the best first year. I was a virgin when I met him and despite not knowing anything about sex, our sex was passionate and amazing. However, everything seemed to go downhill from then.
The 2nd year and the 3rd year we started to get in a lot of arguments. We broke up frequently. He cheated on me once and slept with another girl when we broke up, and I think we have been very confused about our relationship.
We’re together now and I think we have been much more honest and open with each other about our problems. I finally had the courage to speak about our sex and I explained to him that I didn’t feel ‘loved’ when we had sex anymore. When we have sex these days it usually feels very mechanical and unsatisfying. I’m very confused about whether this is a “fixable” matter. I love him and have no doubt that he loves me and I don’t understand why sex would feel distant and unsatisfying with the one I love. I don’t think it’s a matter of technique. To be honest I don’t think better techniques would make me feel loved or satisfied.
Em & Lo, what do you think? Do you think it’s too late? Do you think we should break up and start over with someone else? And most importantly, what’s going on with our sex life!!?
— Going Through the Motions
What should G.T.T.M. do? Leave advice for her in the comments section below.