Your Call: What Do I Do When I Get on Top?

We get a lot of advice questions coming in at, but sadly, we just can’t answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. Make your call by leaving your advice in the comments section below:

Hi Em and Lo,

I need help. I’ve never had sex where I am on top. I guess because I do not feel completely comfortable with my body. But also, I get scared that I will not move the right way. Can you help me with this? I have always been a bit boring in bed — missionary style, mostly — but I met someone who I would love to have sex with, and he seems very experienced. Help!

— Aiming Higher

What should A.H. do?

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12 Comments on "Your Call: What Do I Do When I Get on Top?"

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4 years 5 months ago

^^^^^ I could get my ex off like that so much faster than any other position. Loved it.

4 years 7 months ago

The most sensitive part of the penis is the part of the glans on the top say he were standing and facing you. I never do reverse cowgirl. I think it’s a pain. This is what I do, and 3 different occasions I’ve gotten the comment “best sex I’ve ever had”.. Since the top of the glans is what I call their “crazy spot”, just rubbing your finger across it can make them squirm and immediately start ripping your clothes off lol anyway. I ride a little “low”. Guys like when you “stretch” their penis downward toward their feet, it gives them this feeling of tension, and also really really makes the penis hit not only your G spot, but it puts pressure on your rectum. I don’t like anal, but something about this just feels so good. Anyway, get down pretty low and pull on his penis with your body, then roll your hips and stick your butt out in a “flicking motion”. I promise when he starts reacting you’ll know exactly what he’s feeling. And when he says it feels good tell him “I know” lol … Main reason I did this whole thing was because my legs were weak. But start doing your lunges and you’ll be able to go forever haha … Happy trails!

4 years 8 months ago

Thanx a lot.

4 years 8 months ago

If your thigh muscles get tired while you’re on top, there are 2 things I like to do . . . first, you don’t have to bounce up and down, you can just kind of slowly grind. It may not give him enough stimulation for him to come, but he’ll like it and it can offer you better clitoral and G-spot stimulation. Second, you can switch to sort of squatting (the so-called “Asian cowgirl” position, which requires less effort and allows you to bounce more vigorously.

Another thing men tend to like is when you swivel from regular to reverse cowgirl, without taking his cock out of you. Go slowly (I have managed to kick my boyfriend in the head while swinging my leg over too vigorously). And if you do manage to life yourself off his cock, no fault no fail. As long as you’re having fun, there’s no “wrong” (even if someone gets kicked in the head!)

4 years 8 months ago

…ooo…by the way … you may find that he likes laying back and being spoiled. You could start with massage. Anyway, I’d suggest lots of exploratory kissing and caressing before taking him inside you. You can sit or lay on him to do this. Remember to put on the condom before your private parts meet.