Your Call: When Should He Leave His Wife for Me?

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We feel just awful that we can’t answer every single advice question we get, but we figure that any answer is better than no answer at all. Which is why, once a week, we’ll let you guys decide how to advise a reader. Make your call by filling out the poll after the jump:

Dear Em & Lo,

I am currently seeing someone from my high school years of more than 25 years ago. He is currently married, I am divorced, and I happened to call him about a problem with my mom’s car. We live in different states so when he heard my voice on the phone, he immediately said how much he loved me in high school but never told me so. After we resolved the car issue for my mom, he asked if he could call me sometime.  Well, we have not stopped talking.  Since I started talking to him 5 months ago, he has sent for me to meet him in Mississippi 2 times and we are now both in love. He said he and his wife have been having problems for more that 20 years but have not resolved the marriage and neither wants to save the marriage because they do not have what it takes to stay together.  He says he never wants to let me go. How should I go about the time frame to give him to make the move to file for a divorce?

— The Other Woman

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44 Comments on "Your Call: When Should He Leave His Wife for Me?"

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Im also in love with a married man that lives in another state. He wanted me to go move to his home town and then we could get our relationship going. I said yes, but I decided I wont, I will be going up North but will be moving to GA close to my son and I will be 3 hrs away from him, he says he is leaving her, she cheated on him and he says he does not love her anymore. He says he loves me and wants to be with me. Ok so now I told him… Read more »
I met a man on a dating site and was totally unaware that he was married. After a few months of non stop talking and dating.. I fell in love with him.. deeply… He was my soul mate. The man I had searched for my whole life… INTERESTINGLY ENOUGH i WAS NOT PHYSICALLY ATTRACTED TO MUCH.. iT WAS WHO HE WAS… Then he finally broke the news to me that he was married.. I was devestated and broke off with him. He pursued me again and told me he was seperating from His wife… which he did . I gave… Read more »
Mrs. B
My husband and I have been together for 20 yrs. Married 5 yrs. He began talking with his high school friend in 09. He says he lost his virginity with her. On face book they began a relationship again. She lives in NE we live in CA. He has been having an affair with her since. My husband is a sales rep. and travels for his work. She sent me his itineraries to prove he had been seeing her when he would travel once a month. She sent proof of the 1st time she slept with my husband and where.… Read more »

Why do you put up with his cheating, 20 yrs im sure he has been doing it your wholee marriage disrespectful.


I fell for that line and when I realized he was just stringing me along I felt like a whore. He said he wanted to tell his wife but I think he was using me. I told him why tell his wife, it would only hurt her. It ended up making us feel like low life skum. I live with it everytime I hear about the other woman. I feel like a horrible person that I fell for his lies and would do that to another humanbeing. Honestly I don’t know how these cheaters can live with themselves.

As a married man for the past two years and with the same woman the past 8. I am disgusted by this homewrecker. He is married, there are millions of single men out there and you choose to go after one that is married? Do you even understand what monogomy is? His vows? ANYTHING? What you think if he’s willing to cheat on his wife with you, that you’ve found a keeper? Yeah you’ll be in his wife’s shoes one day. People like you make me sick. No honor, no loyalty. Do the world a favor and kill yourself homewreck,… Read more »

Married men suck. They lie and cheat and tell you they are in love with you when they are not. All you are is just a passing fancy, they cannot prove to you that they love you, because to do that – they would have to leave their safe, secure little nest. AND THEY WONT.

My lover and I were very fair with each-other and both married. For years I had saved to leave my unhappy life and finally made enough to do so. More than enough!  However, I never told him this because within the first year of our relationship coming into the open, he told his wife he had only been with me for 2 months when it actually spanned 3 years in the end.  He told me his wife was depressed, fat and that they had no sex despite the fact that she once gave sexual favours for money and never held… Read more »