Your Call: When Your Partner’s Fantasies Are Seriously Disturbing…

We’ve said before that one’s fantasy life need not be impeded by fears, be limited by ethics, or even abide by the laws of physics. But then we read a comment like the one from icequeenkjd in response to the post “Wise Guys: What Do Men Think About When They Fantasize?” and that whole philosophy comes crumbling down:

I have recently discovered that my boyfriend of 2 years searched out step-dad/step-daughter porn on the internet.  I have two beautiful daughters, one is nine and the other is 13.  I have since moved out and I am completely crushed.  Any thoughts?

What do you think? Did she do the right thing by moving out? Any words of comfort and support you can provide?

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24 Comments on "Your Call: When Your Partner’s Fantasies Are Seriously Disturbing…"

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In my opinion it has to be in context… did you notice him behaving inappropriately toward anyone..has he ever done anything to make you believe he was grooming or lusting or even looking at them in a sexual way.. if the answer is no to all these then I think your another person caught up in this everyone’s a paedophile potential mentality.. a potential rapist mentality..there’s so many different forms of porn role play porn.. so he looked for some.. but if you think young men everywhere aren’t fantasising or soon will be when they develop your being naive..maybe he… Read more »
U most definitely did the right thing by leaving . There is no reason that he needed to look at step dad/step daughter porn. It is sick & horrifying. I know exactly how u feel I had found step daughter/ step father porn on my husbands pc once after my daughter turned 18 (he raised her from a baby& 2nd time this past year. Also he watched omg I f’d my daughters BFF the same time of the step daughter porn this past year& the same time my daughters BFf stayed over with us& her friend saw him watching it… Read more »

I’m sorry that your man had to be such a loser. You totally did the right thing. Well done for being strong and not sweeping it under the carpet. So many people ignore warning signs and complain too late when damage is done.
I know friends and relatives abused by their dads, uncles and grand fathers.
Looking at this online is one sick thing and I wouldn’t chance my children’s safety for any mans mistakes. You are their protector so protect at all costs.

This chick overreacted. Like other people said, if he watches slasher films it doesn’t make him a killer. Sexual fantasies are generally things people just think about or role play, but they don’t REALLY want to do them. My fiancé and I are into all sorts of things but they stay between us. We would never do them with anyone else. And I have a child, but I trust him. Not every kinky man is a perv. Just like not every woman who fantasizes about being raped is a slut. Most Mommy/Daddy fantasies are just about being loved and nurtered.… Read more »

This is why you should never date women who have children. Too much drama, and too many potential landmines.


Nice to see you understand the deeper concern for young children’s well being Jack!

How obtuse and shallow of you!

Jack Jones

What if she discovered that her partner was into watching violent films for (gasp!) entertainment. War films? Crime dramas? Murder mystery? Would she be worried that her partners was a murderer?