Dear Em & Lo,
My boyfriend and I have been seriously dating for a few months now, although over the course of the past eight months we’ve gone from buddies, to friends with benefits, to best friends with benefits, to head-over-heels in love. Since we’re fairly serious about each other, and since I’ve already met his father, I was really hoping that he’d invite me to go with him to visit his family for Thanksgiving. My own family is 800 miles away so I won’t be able to see them this year, and his is only a few hours’ drive.
I don’t want to flat-out ask him to take me along, but I’m not sure what to do, and the closer the holiday gets, the more disappointed I feel. I’ve dropped a few hints — I’m very sad I’ll be without my family for Thanksgiving, I have extra vacation, I wish I were having turkey this year – but he’s either oblivious and hasn’t thought about inviting me, or he really doesn’t want me to go. He even went as far as complaining about driving there by himself, when a willing travel partner was sitting right beside him. He also offered to “do Thanksgiving” with me the weekend before.
My question is — should I be upset? Should I tell him I’m upset? I wouldn’t be afraid to ask to meet his family if they lived here, but I’m hesitant to demand an invitation to visit them in another state. I don’t think it’s anything he’s embarrassed about or wants to keep from me, and we’ve taken trips together, so I know it’s not that either. Maybe he just doesn’t like to do the family thing this early in the relationship? But he talks about the things we’ll be doing a year from now, so it’s not like he’s not committed to me.
Maybe Thanksgiving just isn’t a big deal to him, but I’d really like to spend the holiday with someone I love. THE someone I love, as a matter of fact. I would love your advice.
— Cold Turkey
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