Your Call: Why Do Men Cheat Down?

We get a lot of advice questions coming in at EMandLO.com, but sadly, we just can’t answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. Make your call by leaving your response in the comments section below.

Why do guys cheat down? Meaning, picking a woman less attractive. My husband cheated on me with a woman twice my size. He said he found her unattractive but couldn’t help himself. Another friend of mine (she is a model) had her husband cheat on her. It was while he was out of town and all the women were less attractive. Of course these are just two examples. I was always under the impression that if you are going to cheat, at least make it worth it.

What do you think? Do you agree that men “cheat down”? Why or why not?

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42 Comments on "Your Call: Why Do Men Cheat Down?"

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1 year 5 months ago

I think it goes definitely beyond sex. Some men are stronger than others when it comes to temptation. Maybe the reality is that if a wife/s.o. becomes emotionally unavailable, or a nag! and another (less pretty, sophisticated or smart) woman REALLY listens to him, praises him, makes him feel good about himself…he becomes interested, even obsessed with her. This new, less than beautiful (even homely) creature makes him feel good about himself. She is full of admiration for him. She’s his friend who does not criticize him – and only notices his good side. She comments on his virtues and… Read more »

2 years 30 days ago


2 years 1 month ago

Just reading through the BS from some on here. Cheating down is not always only about looks (or whatever the standard of beauty is). It is about intellect, sense of humor, personality…the entire package. I was recently cheated on. The woman i was cheated on with was someone who was a complete psycho, nut job. She is stupid and ignorant on top of being physically ugly (by societies standards). The woman had nothin going on. Why? Why did he do it I asked? Why with her? The answer was that he knew he couldn’t continue a relationship with her because… Read more »

2 years 1 month ago

Well im a plus size young woman who has many options but was intrigued by a nice looking military man. I met himand he chased me for MONTHS no dating just texts n calls here n there. Im a busy single woman with no kids. So i have a life but he checked on me and every other day asking about meeting me again. I gave him his chance and we dated for months he was at my home almost everyday then one day I decide to get on my fb acct. And look for his name so we can… Read more »

2 years 2 months ago

Low self worth. Low self esteem. Very very low self esteem. No self love. I wonder what a man like that thinks of himself. He is probably someone who hates his own reflection when he sees himself in the mirror. He sees himself as trash.

disgusted with society
4 months 20 days ago

eww. your comment is pretty repulsive. what kind of person could you be to even entertain it to be true that looks improve ones value. just because you think someone is not as good looking as yourself doesnt mean they arent a better person than you. you need to get a grip with reality and stop being so vane.

2 years 3 months ago

PS – Who am I to say who is better or worse? I’m a person who is free to have opinions that others frequently agree with. Whether you like it or not, there is a pretty standard set of ideals that exist. “But I’m big and beautiful!”, you say. “I’m pretty on the inside” Sorry. That’s not really as big a thing as some people want it to be. It seems that guys will do almost anyone as long as they can hide the less attractive ones from others’ judgments. I guess that’s what dating down is: getting to bang… Read more »

Truth Hurts
2 years 3 months ago

It’s true. Men cheat down. It’s weird. I once cheated (I know, I know. Hubububu cry me a river. It happens. We’re adults here and I stayed out of the shark pit since) but it was a GIANT upgrade. The guy I was dating was a misogynist asshole who manipulated me and once made me apologize for getting angry at him for calling me “jokingly” a c*** in front of our friends. The guy I cheated with was a drunk one night stand who I now talk to on a weekly basis and visit often even though he lives across… Read more »