Your Call: Why Do Men Cheat Down?

We get a lot of advice questions coming in at, but sadly, we just can’t answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. Make your call by leaving your response in the comments section below.

Why do guys cheat down? Meaning, picking a woman less attractive. My husband cheated on me with a woman twice my size. He said he found her unattractive but couldn’t help himself. Another friend of mine (she is a model) had her husband cheat on her. It was while he was out of town and all the women were less attractive. Of course these are just two examples. I was always under the impression that if you are going to cheat, at least make it worth it.

What do you think? Do you agree that men “cheat down”? Why or why not?

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42 Comments on "Your Call: Why Do Men Cheat Down?"

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1 year 3 months ago

I think it goes definitely beyond sex.

Some men are stronger than others when it comes to temptation.

Maybe the reality is that if a wife/s.o. becomes emotionally unavailable, or a nag! and another (less pretty, sophisticated or smart) woman REALLY listens to him, praises him, makes him feel good about himself…he becomes interested, even obsessed with her.

This new, less than beautiful (even homely) creature makes him feel good about himself. She is full of admiration for him. She’s his friend who does not criticize him – and only notices his good side. She comments on his virtues and strengths. In her own way she compliments him on his manliness.

I certainly am not advocating cheating but we are all human; we all have an ego and we all have the desire to be appreciated!

1 year 10 months ago


1 year 10 months ago

Just reading through the BS from some on here. Cheating down is not always only about looks (or whatever the standard of beauty is). It is about intellect, sense of humor, personality…the entire package. I was recently cheated on. The woman i was cheated on with was someone who was a complete psycho, nut job. She is stupid and ignorant on top of being physically ugly (by societies standards). The woman had nothin going on. Why? Why did he do it I asked? Why with her? The answer was that he knew he couldn’t continue a relationship with her because she was such a mess in every way. I was going through a bad time and wasn’t fully emotionally available to him. He said he wanted me, and she was a substitute to fill in the time until I was there. He said he wasn’t even sexually attracted to her, but he could use and abuse her sexually, and so he did. He even told her she was a booty call and he would never love her, that he loves me. We are trying to sort through the issues, and as it stands I don’t know if we will. The explaination makes sense to me even if it is embellished for my benefit. Is it plausible?

1 year 11 months ago

Well im a plus size young woman who has many options but was intrigued by a nice looking military man. I met himand he chased me for MONTHS no dating just texts n calls here n there. Im a busy single woman with no kids. So i have a life but he checked on me and every other day asking about meeting me again. I gave him his chance and we dated for months he was at my home almost everyday then one day I decide to get on my fb acct. And look for his name so we can be friends. Look at his page he has a NEW woman he had bought a house with a month before he meet me and she is pretty but frail. Im big but beautiful. On his page you can see he was going through a divorce and seen his wife she is cool woman nothing out going as my self but like i said, in this situation all his cheating has gained him two pretty ladies. But his first love was plus size woman. He love big pretty women. Now his first love is like myself outgoing. So now i think his personal interest is big beautiful women but his heart got hurt so he parades around with small chicks and now cheats on them with big chicks and im not the only big woman he has been cheating with but i gave him a run for his money now he got caught but inlike of me and confused. So never assume that these men are cheating down. They can cheat up or cheat with ehomever. Theres a reason he cheated. You either find it to fix your relationship or leave him alone. And sad to say ugly is the characteristics if a persons behavior. Any woman is capable of having some attractiveness.

2 years 6 days ago

Low self worth. Low self esteem. Very very low self esteem. No self love. I wonder what a man like that thinks of himself. He is probably someone who hates his own reflection when he sees himself in the mirror. He sees himself as trash.

disgusted with society
2 months 5 days ago

eww. your comment is pretty repulsive. what kind of person could you be to even entertain it to be true that looks improve ones value. just because you think someone is not as good looking as yourself doesnt mean they arent a better person than you. you need to get a grip with reality and stop being so vane.