2/4/13
Your Call: Why Does He Watch Porn When My Sex Drive Is Higher?

photo via Wiki Commons

We get a lot of advice questions coming in at EMandLO.com, but sadly, we just can’t answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. Make your call on the letter below by leaving your advice in the comments section. 

Submit Your Own Question to EMandLO.comTry Our New
*PRIVATE* Advice Service!

 

Dear Em & Lo,

My boyfriend watches porn and I am ok with it. However, my concern is that I am a very active sex partner and he is the who isn’t (not as often as I would like), so what would be his need for porn????

— Left Hanging

What should Left Hanging do? Let her know in the comments section below.

MORE LIKE THIS ON EMandLO.com:

Say Something

11 Comments on "Your Call: Why Does He Watch Porn When My Sex Drive Is Higher?"

avatar

Sort by:   newest | oldest | most voted
Mistress Susan
3 years 5 months ago

Left Hanging, VARIETY is the key to an exciting sex life, especially for men. You have to look at how often he is watching porn. Is it daily, weekly, etc? What type of porn is it? Is it gay porn, S&M porn, etc?

I don’t care if a man is having sex daily with a woman, he still is going to want to watch porn, go to a strip club, or call a phone sex line.

Keep in mind that you don’t have to be left out. Watch COUPLES porn together. Once again, VARIETY is the key.

mrscb
mrscb
3 years 5 months ago

I say go buy porn that u like and the two of u watch it together. Hopefully it’ll get the mood right. Make a sexy game of it and be willing to be a pornstar for him in that moment.

piglet
piglet
3 years 5 months ago

I’m having the exact same problem too. My bf and I only have sex once or twice a month and it’s killing me. I’ve asked him about it but he only says it’s because he’s tired from work and that I should stop pressuring him. He has a fetish that he refuses to include me in, and now I’m too shy/ have such low self-esteem that I don’t even have the heart to try turning him on anymore. Sorry to jump on another person’s thread but this situation is so baffling for me 🙁

Mike
Mike
3 years 5 months ago

Sex involves two partners while masturbation involves one. There is no pressure on yourself when you are masturbating, not to imply that you are putting pressure on him. It just occurs, especially if he is aware that you want sex more often than him.

Could just be a way for him to get what he needs minus some of the stress or anxiety of having sex.

A
A
3 years 5 months ago
I’m having the same issue. Basically, I’m down for sex whenever. I have a pretty high drive. But my guy’s drive is low. But he manages to have enough of a drive that he jerks it to porn every time I go to work and sometimes when I’m off showering. I told him I’m ok with him looking at it as long as he isn’t passing me up for porn and he says he’s not. But I don’t understand why he is jerking it 5 or 6 days a week and but only giving me time once a week. All… Read more »
misspiggy
misspiggy
3 years 5 months ago
I totally feel your frustration and have experienced it many a time. Maybe one question is, could he do a little more work on building up some sexual frustration and energy for sex with you? This doesn’t have to mean not watching porn, but it could mean not giving himself orgasms for a while when watching porn. But if he is really tired or stressed and is using porn as a comfort blanket, you will have to look at the root cause. If he’s stressed out/exhausted, he may not want sex with you because he has to perform, he has… Read more »
adorkable
adorkable
3 years 5 months ago

I agree with most of what’s been said before – but I’ve got another thought. Does *he* have to be part of all of *your* sexual activity? Is there a reason that *you* don’t also watch porn, masturbate, etc.?

wpDiscuz