We get a lot of advice questions coming in at EMandLO.com, but sadly, we just can’t answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. Make your call by leaving your advice in the comments section below.
Dear Em & Lo,
I am writing for a few reasons, and hoping to get some straight advice. First, I have been with my boyfriend for about 2 years. I’m 23 and he’s 29. It was kind of a crazy situation, but he swept me off my feet and we lived together pretty immediately. I was head over heels with him when we met and those first few months of sex were amazing.
Now, we have settled into that old married couple state, where there is little excitement and lots of routine (you know, where you do nothing fun anymore and have tv shows you watch on certain days of the week).
Here is the problem. Where we used to have amazing, spontaneous sex several times a week, now it has dwindled to once a month, if that, and currently a record of six weeks with ZERO sex. Not even a hint or suggestion of it on his end. He says I bring it up too much, and while I do try to initiate it a few times a week, I don’t think it’s too much to ask for the man I love to want to make love to me! But he continues to reject me with excuses or just a flat out “no.”
I don’t understand what could make a guy suddenly have no interest in sex! I have researched it and talked it out and fought with him about it so many times, I am at a loss. I have tried it all; even sex games and naughty lingerie have no effect!
We both work and are stressed out at times, but we usually have plenty of time together in the evenings and weekends, when it would be a perfect time to get it on! I love sex, and I love sex with my boyfriend, but this is causing such a strain on us, I don’t know how much longer I can take it. I am tempted to cheat on him with a former lover just to be able to get off without using one of my growing collection of sex toys!
Help me out! What should I do??
— Six Week Drought