9/17/10
Your Call: Will This Online Fling Lead to Anything?

Share your advice for this reader in the comments section below…

Dear Em & Lo,

There is this guy I have been talking to online. Both of us feel that vibe in the air and we know we are so right for each other. He has girlfriend, but still he enjoys his time and shares his secrets with me. Ain’t this love?? The problem is, we are too far apart. He is in the US and I’m in the UK. We have been making online love, which I enjoy, I like being naked in front of the webcam for him… in fact, both of us do. But now I am starting to think this is not leading me anywhere. Should I ignore or continue?

— Byte on the Side

What should Byte on the Side do? Share your advice below…

12 Comments

  1. 1, he has a girlfriend so you need to step out of the picture.
    2, being an ocean away puts the advantage in his hands to be anyone he wants over the internet
    3, he’s using you for his own pornographic pleasure.

    i wouldn’t call it love.

  2. Girl,
    HE IS CHEATING! You are talking a JERK! You are also a homewrecker because he has a GIRLFRIEND! Do the right thing and end it. No doubt that karma will come back at you and bite you in the ass.

  3. The great thing about online encounters is that you can be whoever you want. And just like in real life, there is a difference between who you want to be and who you actually are. What ‘works’ online, more often than not doesn’t translate into every day life. The internet is a great playground when it comes to living out fantasies and potentially meeting people with similar interests, but lady, it aint real. Consider yourself cyberporn for this guy, then consider him as your cyberporn. Comfortable with that, just that? Great, continue. If not. Go out and eat local.

  4. You know I’ve got a friend in the UK that I met online. And I’ve told her a few of my deepest secrets. Not a big deal? Why? Because who’s she going to tell? Same with the cheating jackass you’re talking to.

    And you like being naked in front of the webcam for him… well, like Angie said, you are just his porn, nothing more. Sorry.

  5. Read your own letter again, girl. “We both know we are so right for each other. He has a girlfriend.”

    These two facts are mutually exclusive.

  6. I am with Philipp on that one. If he wanted it to lead anywhere, he would make it clear–there would be no question on your part. LDRs are very hard to maintain, and totally out of the question if either partner is unable to commit 100+%.

  7. What philipp said.

    He has a girlfriend. You’re an ocean away. It is very easy for him to promise/tell you anything because he knows you’ll never be close enough to take him up on that. Try this: Suggest to him that you want to come over to visit him, maybe stay for a while. See how he reacts. There’s your answer.

    Basically, he’s just using you as porn.

  8. “He has girlfriend, but still he enjoys his time and shares his secrets with me. Ain’t this love??”

    No, this isn’t love. This is cheating. Also, I really wouldn’t read too much into him sharing his secrets. That’s very easy to do if you can be quite certain that you never have to actually meet the one you’re sharing with.

    If it’s fun for you you can go on. But don’t expect it to turn into anything more. Seriously.

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