Dr. Kate is an OB/GYN at one of the largest teaching hospitals in New York City and she answers your medical questions here once a week. To ask her your own question, click here.
Dear Dr. Kate,
I’ll just cut right to the chase: I have orgasms in my sleep, what can be called “wet dreams.” When I dream something erotic (even if it’s just my husband and I having sex), not only do I become aroused, but I have actual orgasms. I would say I have several wet dreams a month.
Now, I’m not complaining — it’s kind of awesome, to be honest! — but I want to know how common this is amongst women? Because I’ve never heard of women having wet dreams. Men, yes…women, no. Although, my own husband hasn’t ever had a wet dream. I find that strange, because I always thought that men are the only ones to have them.
So what’s the deal?
— Sexy Sleeper
Dear S.S.,
You’re not alone. The 1950s sex researcher Alfred Kinsey estimated that 40% of women will experience an orgasm while asleep before the age of 45. And these unconscious orgasms seem to be more common as we get older (something to look forward to!). The going theory is that during sleep, our normal inhibitions don’t hold us back, so things that we find erotic — even if disturbing or “forbidden” — will arouse us in a way that wouldn’t happen while we’re awake. And women may climax faster when asleep, for the same reason. For good or bad, these orgasms are not usually voluntary or under conscious control — so there’s no point in trying to prevent them.
Having orgasms while sleeping is not a sign of sexual dysfunction, and they’re not a comment on the quality (or quantity) of your sex life. While there’s some crazy psychoanalytic research out there about what sleep orgasms signify, I think they’re just a sign of a highly tuned sexual system, one that’s built for our pleasure round the clock. So enjoy!
Best of health,
Dr. Kate
Gyotalk
Dr. Kate is an OB/GYN at one of the largest teaching hospitals in New York City. She also lectures nationally on women’s health issues and conducts research on reproductive health. Check out more of her advice and ask her a question at Gynotalk.com.
I’ve recently been experiencing orgasms in my sleep. I’m 13 weeks pregnant, and have placenta previa. currently not allowed to have sex. since this has been discovered (the previa), I began having erotic dreams that end in real orgasms. I know the female “wet dream” is quite normal and common. Wh at worries me is that I’m on complete pelvic rest, mraning no orgasms, either. I guess my mind and body don’t agree. Hoping these nightly climaxes aren’t putting my baby, or myself, at higher risk.
March 18 2013 I was taking a nap and out of no where I had the best orgasms I ever had and it was so big that it woke me up if only I could feel that while having actual intercourse .
Some of you might be interested in my new book, “Waking into “The Big O – a New Look at Sleep-Related Female Orgasms” available from my website or Amazon. As far as I can tell, it is the largest study of women sleep orgasm experiencers since Kinsey’s, with data and commentary from women ages 15 to 85. Some of the information is really ground-breaking. While it appears that more women are experiencing these at younger ages, many don’t start until pregnancy or menopause. And 10% of the SRFO experiencers from my survey report that these are the ONLY orgasms they have ever experienced at any age.
I just experienced this last night. I wasn’t even having a sexy dream. I dreamt I was sitting on the arm of a couch, and it hit me the right way, and it gave me an orgasm. Thing is, I have never had an orgasm while awake, and I’m only assuming I had an orgasm in my sleep because it felt SO good. Better than anything I’ve ever experienced. Is there something wrong with me?? Help!
My auto correct screwd up my grammar, I said my dream will go from pg to x rated *
I get them anytime I sleep for longer than 8 hours. I will be sleeping I’m and my dream will turn from pg to created and It’ll build up into one big orgasm.. if I don’t wake up right away whatever is having sex with me in my dream, I’ll actually feel them enter me… and in those cases its really intense and almost hurts upon awakening…I’ll wake up jumping the bed and pamting. I feel something might be wrong though cause in the dream its usually with unattractive fat bald PR bearded men, I’ll get my boyfriends friends once in a while, but its never with my boyfriend… and I’m not a cheater… anyways, it only happens when I sleep in.
I had a “wet dream” and during my dream state i was having sex then the inside pleasure part became all to real and when i was ripped to consciousness my penis was cumming in my shorts!!! I remember seeing all white all white between the transition of my dream state and actual consciousness and there was a smell that was not really there but was being made up by my imagination
Not strange at all! I too have had orgasms in my sleep; in fact today, during a nap, I had a sexual dream and was so close but unable to climax, but upon waking up I was able to finish myself off in about 15 seconds. I’ve found that if I haven’t masturbated in awhile, I will orgasm in my sleep. Sometimes I will masturbate during the day then orgasm in my dreams later that night, so I guess it just depends on how much pleasure my body desires at any given time.
Hi I have just recently been experiencing orgasms in. My sleep at first they feel good but intense pain immedatly follows. I’ve stopped my sex life for a year now and I have sex occasionally cause my boyfriend looks like he’s at he’s no sex limit lol. The reason why I stopped with sexual activity is beacaues I have extremely painful orgasms and painful sex with penitration. This started about a year ago I have had a laparoscopy to check for endometriosis ( test was inconclusive). Anyways I. Don’t want orgams they hurt how do I stop them? Or better how can I fix myself so they don’t hurt anymore? I want to have sex again!
I’m only 17 and sometimes I get an orgasm while sleeping. But the particularly strange thing is, it’s never happened during a sex-related dream. They just occur if I’m having an intense dream, like if I’m running away from someone, or any nerve wracking dream. It’s like I’m building all this tension and then suddenly I release it and it feels so dang good. So I’m pretty sure it’s an orgasm, even though I’ve never experienced a real one before.
Hello Doctor,
I write because I am very frustrated, im 21 years old and been sexually active for 3 years, but I have never ever had an orgasm while awake. Not with a partner and not by myself either, BUT, I have had orgasms in my sleep.
Does this mean that I have no physiological problem? Since I am apparently capable of orgasm, just have never had one awake. It makes me really sad.
When I touch myself, my whole body gets really tensed up, but I never reach an orgasm for I must stop before I get one because I feel a weird, almost pain, uncomfortable feeling on my vagina. What is happening? I hope you can help
it happens to me once in a blue moon, i have a sweet dream and i can literaly feel myself touching my parts or humping the bed.. its weird, but i have gotten off, just hope my man didn’t witness it. i’d be slightly embarassed.. (humping the bed) lol!
Lucky you. I just wake up aroused and frustrated.
i get them almost everyday and if i get to take a mid day nap, usually orgasm 6-7 times in that dream!!! its awesome!! but good to know im not weird!
I’ve have ‘wet dreams’ as well. I can remember having them as a teenager and have never been bothered by them. I always wake up in a nicer mood…. I’m glad to know that I’m not the only one.