by Laurel House for YourTango
Guys, reality check: sending dick pics doesn’t make a lady want to date you.
Just like being cat-called doesn’t make a woman want to meet the guy yelling at her, or being accosted on the street by a flasher doesn’t turn her on, we are turned off and grossed out when your dick just randomly shows up on our phone.
Sure, there may be a few women who are oddly turned on by it and feel strangely special, but this article is about the every-woman. You know, the one you might actually like to get to know? The woman who is actually looking for love (or at least connection) as opposed to just some hot and dirty action.
So here are a few sweet, fun, even sexier ways to get her attention than by sending a pic of your junk:
1. A photo of a sexy body part (that’s NOT your dick)
I said sexy. Your dick doesn’t fall into the category.
Take a pic of your lips, abs, or even your strong hands gripping a basketball (because she mentioned how much she likes to have her ass grabbed). Then soften the sexiness of the photo by saying something sweet. If you go with the basketball idea, you might need to clarify the image so that there isn’t any confusion or over analyzing.
Why? It’s sexy without being nasty.
Example: Along with the pic say something sweet like “I can’t wait to kiss you.”
2. A flirty game
Text is not intended to be a platform to get to know each other. It is a platform to flirt or confirm the time and date- either a phone or in person date. That being said, you can dig into some substance and have fun at the same time with “two truths and a lie.”
You can make it deep or light. The point is to be revealing and create conversation topics for when you talk on the phone or in person next.
Why? Two truths and a lie is fun. And it creates opportunities to deepen your conversations and therefore create a foundation.
3. Words of encouragement
Or a tough conversation, or any other thing that she might be a bit nervous about. This text is meant to show her that you care, you’re thinking about her, and you believe in her.
Why? Because we want a guy who isn’t just in it for fun, but also has our back, supports us, will be there when we are sad, scared, and excited.
Example: “Good luck today with your presentation. I know you are going to do an awesome job!”
“I know you’re stressed about your meeting this afternoon. Just know that I am here and I am thinking about you. Now go kick some butt!”
4. A reminder you’re thinking about her when you’re out doing something fun
Why? Because we have a way of imagining the worst. If you are out of town doing something fun and we don’t hear from you, there’s a chance that we are imagining that you are out of town with another chick.
Instead of making our minds race, send a text to let her know that you’re thinking about her, even when you are having a great time without her.
That being said, don’t obsessively text her with the moment-by-moment play-by-play. That will lead her to believe that you are a needy loser.
Example: “Just had a great afternoon surfing with my buddies. Now we are heading for drinks. It would be fun for you to be here with me. I hope your day has been great too!”
5. Plans for a phone date
It might seem old fashioned, but phone dates can be an amazing way to get to know each other and establish a foundation.
The reason I call it a phone date, instead of just giving her a call, is because a date is scheduled. And so should this call. A phone date allows you to both be in a place where you are ready to talk, not distracted, and focused on each other. It’s a great way to connect between dates, especially when you have a week or more before your next date together.
Why? A set phone date will make her feel special, showing that you want to set time aside in your schedule to just focus on her.
Example: “I would love to hear your voice and catch up on your day. What do you think about scheduling a phone date this evening at 8pm? If that doesn’t work, how about tomorrow at 9pm?”
6. A photo of one of her favorite things.
If she mentioned to you that she loves watermelon gum, take and text a pic of a pack of watermelon gum when you happen to notice it while standing in the checkout line at the grocery store. Same goes for roses or puppies or cool old cars, whatever she likes.
Again, don’t go over the top and text her EVERY TIME you see something that reminds you of her. That too will put you on the creeper list.
Why? It will show her that she is never far from your mind.
Example: “I was at the checkout stand at the supermarket today and I happened to notice your favorite flavor of gum. Made me think of you… Hope you’re having a great day.”
7. A link to an article that she will find interesting
Send an article that is about a topic that will benefit her — maybe in preparation for a meeting that she has that day or a conversation that she is having with her dad that evening — an article that will arm her with information and make her feel more on top of her game.
Why? Sending an appropriate article that she will enjoy reading or benefit from will show her that you are thinking about her and that you are intellectual. And that is sexy. If you send her an article that she can benefit form in business, she will think of you when using the newfound knowledge. And that’s always a good thing.
Example: “This article on dating trends is perfect for your TV appearance tomorrow morning. Not that you need more preparation, but I thought you might enjoy readying it.”
8. A link to a song you love, or that reminds you of her
We love to expand our playlists with good music. Especially if we are into you. Just be careful with your song choice as she will likely over analyze the lyrics.
Why? Remember when you used to give mixed tapes to girls you like? We do too. And we miss those “good old days.”
Example: “I think you might like this song…”
Be careful with:
- Jokes. Humor can be hard to capture over text.
- Sarcasm. Will more likely come across as mean. Maybe not at first, but after we read into and over analyze your message to death, your intention will likely be far from how it’s received.
- Sending selfies. Women like to send selfies so that you can see what we are up to. We are generally very aware of lighting, angle, and background. You don’t necessarily need to send a selfie in return. It’s not as cute as when we do it.
Bottom line? Dick pics are a no-no. Send pretty much anything else.
Follow Laurel House on Twitter at @DatingLaurel and visit her at www.laurelhouse.com.
This article was originally published on YourTango: “10 Things to Text Instead of a Dick Pick (Sincerely, Women)”
More content from YourTango: