Advice from three of EMandLO.com’s guy friends. This week they answer the following: “What do men think about female ejaculation?” To ask the guys your own question, click here.
Straight Married Guy (Figleaf): Good question but hard to answer. I think the most important thing you can say about female ejaculation is that the best-selling book that introduced the idea of G-spot orgasms and female ejaculation, The G Spot: And Other Discoveries about Human Sexuality, has a whole chapter devoted to the principle that “the best is the enemy of the good.” The authors worried specifically that if people obsess over having or (worse, I think) giving G-spot orgasms, they’re likely to wind up disappointed with their ordinary old eye-rolling, breathtaking, toe-curling ones.
I’ve had sex with a couple of partners who “squirt” at least some of the time. And while obviously everyone’s mileage varies, I never got the impression from them that those orgasms were any more enjoyable, or less, than the “regular” kind.
Straight Single Guy (David Grossman): Female ejaculation is the greatest compliment a woman can give to her partner. It doesn’t take much to make a man climax, but being able to make a woman ejaculate is a skill and an honor.
Gay Married Guy (Joel Derfner, author of Swish): Ew.
Our “wise guys” are a rotating group of contributors, some of whom wish to remain anonymous and some of whom like the attention. David Grossman recently graduated from Stony Brook University in New York; this week’s Gay Married Guy is Joel Derfner, author of Swish; and our Straight Married Guy is Figleaf, the guy behind RealAdultSex.com. To ask the guys your own question, click here.
the first time i ever ejaclated my husband was so happy. he wanted me to have one every single time we have sex. at first i was embarassed and worried that something was wrong with me. but after read other women experiencing this, it is a sexual exciting to make my husband feel great and he makes me feel great also. it happens when he gives me oral too. ladies it is great, and i am in my early 40’s. so every women can have one, just be upfront with your partner and experiment on different things and tell them what makes you climax, talking and communicating with them is the key. happy sexual events in your lives.
How ignorant of you. Of course women can ejaculate. At least most women can. I made my girlfriend do it just the other night and she’s made me do it before too. I think it’s great. Makes me feel accomplished almost.
c’mon – theres no such thing as female ejaculation-you can get wet as hell,but there is no physical “seeing” evidence of a womans ejaculate. i know its a womans world out there, but you come by nerve endings only. so quit magnafying this old wives tale and accept it for what it is. ’nuff said-period.
Female Ejaculation is the utmost selfless act that a woman can give her partner. There is no denying that she been sexually satisfied. It is beautiful when my wife ejaculates. She is in a whole new world when she cums like that either by clitoris or intercourse. It’s simply amazing. Thanks for letting me share my prospective on the matter. Happy Female Ejaculation Everyone! : )
I personally don’t like women who squirt. I don’t find it exciting or feel validated sexually if a woman does that when she is with me.
When a woman squirts it is not as lubricated, it always seems to take away from the connection we are having because she is shooting this liquid all over my pelvic area and I just don’t really care for it, it actually turns me off. To me, when a woman squirts she is metaphorically dousing the fire that was created between us.
I would even stop seeing a girl who squirts, there are plenty of other men out there who would appreciate her for that but not me.
Ahh, getting your lady to experience the squirts. Most men don’t have a clue. I have had the pleasure of being with more than one who could do that. For me it is the most fantastic feeling. I think a lot of women are too uptight about sex to be able to let loose and experience this. I’ve been with women who said I was a pervert for wanting to be just a little kinky and straying away from missionary. Let your hair down ladies when having sex. You just might enjoy it more! I was married to a lady who could soak the entire bed, good thing it was a waterbed. lol
I too thought it was a porn trick! I need to know more….
I always thought the female ejaculation was a porn trick and not something that happened in reality. I noticed guys posting on adult sites seeking women that were capable of it because they wanted to be a part of it too. It was an urban legend to them too.
Then I came across a man that told me it’s all in what knowledge the man possesses and that every woman is capable of it at the right hands. Fantastic! I no longer needed to think I was an orgasm failure for not being able to experience it, I was just with clueless men.
From the personal experience that followed, I concur. The man is the one that needs to know what he is doing to please the woman to make female ejaculation a reality for her. I’ve been with one man skilled enough to make it happen and he blew me away. I didn’t think I had anything left to learn about my body but I was wrong. So all you men that want to be with a woman that experiences such an orgasm I suggest you do a lot of research and take it upon yourself to make it happen… all she needs to do is relax and enjoy the ride.
Knowledgable men get rewarded, lazy and stupid ones do not.
You know, David also just put it entirely on the guy to be able to do it. Since it’s so easy to get a guy off and all, and women are just so hard to figure out. We don’t come with blueprints or a handbook or a legend or anything. I like to think of as Manifest Destiny. Well, Womanfest Destiny. If you make it to the ocean, you’ve proved yourself an experienced explorer endowed with strength and integrity; but if you die trying to ford a river, you’re just an idiot who didn’t know to bring an extra pair of wellies.
From now on, I’m just going to assume that if I don’t ejaculate, it’s because my partner isn’t skilled or honorable enough. Sweet, no more pressure! Thanks, David!
I know guys appreciate the visual, knowing they’ve helped bring their lady to orgasm, but seriously. As others have said, cut it out with the pressure. What you may not realize, though I know this may be a tremendously difficult concept to grasp, is that women can have spectacular orgasms -without- ejaculation. Yes, orgasm can be reached without squirting. I know it may be hard to believe, but it’s true! And it still feels like an orgasm. Crazy, I know.
It just happened for my wife years ago when we started dating, first time for her and for me. We know what positions/pressure work for us but if she isn’t totally chilled then it won’t happen. When she squirts though it is seriously special and it just seems like the most intense orgasms – makes me jealous to be a man. You know you’ve had a good night when you have to sleep on towels just to keep dry 🙂
I agree with Sex Fairy. It might be something that any woman can ‘learn,’ but I think there’s a small percentage of ‘natural squirters’ out there. Of 10 sex partners I’ve had, only one squirts. And she does it when orgasming, regardless of whether the simulation is g-spot, clitoral, or vaginal.
That said, I think it’s awesome.
Agreed Matbo!
I don’t believe that every woman is “capable” of ejaculating. I don’t feel the NEED to do so, in any case. If it happens, great. If it doesn’t, also great.
No. More. Pressure. Sex is FUN.
“Female ejaculation is the greatest compliment a woman can give to her partner. ”
Oh, way to put pressure on any woman who “fails” to ejaculate. I’m quite happy just being able to orgasm normally thank you. It took me a while to learn and the pressure was pretty intense: I felt wrong and broken and confused. I wanted so badly to show how much I enjoyed it.
Now I orgasm, but I do it for me, not as some sort of trophy to my partner. By all means we can go for trying to make me ejaculate. But the greatest compliment I give my man is that I choose to spend all my life with him.
Totally awesome.