Advice from three of our guy friends. This week they answer the following: “Why do guys seem to dislike giving oral sex more than woman seem to dislike giving it?“
Gay Married Guy (Jon Ross): I’ve met a bunch of straight men and woman who dislike the pastime, which is a bit of a mystery to me — most gays just love the activity! One in my position can only speculate, but I wonder if it’s a fear of “the other” that has some people so squeamish. Sure, everyone loves sex, but some just want to keep to keep everything perfectly aligned, mouth to mouth, genitalia to genitalia. I bet the people who shy away from oral sex are just unfamiliar with how everything works down there or fear they’ll get a mouthful of a bodily fluid.
Straight Single Guy (Chris): I hate to disappoint you, but we don’t all dislike giving oral. I’m not fishing for dates here, but I personally love giving as much as receiving. I promise I can have that verified for you. I think many guys are just too anxious to get to sex. I suppose I was too when I was younger. Now that I’m a little older, I’m much more interested in leaving a good impression. My recovery time isn’t the same as it once was either, so I guess I’m compensating somewhat, but I remember always being pretty into it. I don’t know if there’s a secret. Ladies, keep things nice and trim down there: consider going with a complete “no spin zone” or maybe even a vajazzling to try to drum up some interest. (He should do be willing to do the same for you.) And speaking of reciprocation, remember the golden rule: if you give good head then hopefully you’ll get good head in return. I guess the only other advice I can give if you’re still having trouble is that you can find me on Facebook pretty easily…
Straight Married Guy (Mike): Who said that men dislike giving oral sex? Nothing is more arousing than the smell of a woman. So, just for selfish reasons, oral is a great way to start. However, there are obviously men who are repelled by the idea and women who are self-conscious, but it’s nothing that a little personal hygiene won’t cure. As for women, there seems to be much more pressure and expectation to expertly perform orally — the blowjob is a fixture of porn and is practically de rigueur. I wonder how many women really enjoy being a service provider? With either, a little communication would go a long way: as exciting as oral sex can be, there’s also nothing worse than when it is half-hearted.
Before my first piece of tail I was told an old adage. If it looks good,feels good, tastes good then the chances are it is good to go there.
So going down is always a part of foreplay. To the people who don’t want too go down you don’t know what you are missing. A good healthy pussy is so sweet and you know she is enjoying it when she pushes your face harder into herself. I have even got caught after my first climactic burst going for seconds and getting fresh blood, to find myself in the first day of a period. So loosen up and enjoy the perfumed garden.
I am a gal who use to love giving my man as many favors as HE could take. And then later on I would get my treat in return. But as I have gotten a tad older, im not so ampted all the time to do it, and my current boyfriend isnt a very big giver what-so-ever. This is what I did. I talked to him. Told him how I felt. And it took a little time, but he loosened up and now he’ll go downtown but not nearly as much as I would personally like and now that im pregnant I dont like to give at all. So I choose my battles now…
Eliza,
There seems to be something wrong even in the beginning, 2/wk ??? At first it’s typically 2/day, and if you have a 4 yr old than I am assuming your still in prime sexual peak, so decreasing down to once a month is just weird. I would guess your guy is fantasizing and jacking off with his porn addiction. YES ADDICTION, and you are not doing it for him, no normal women could. Better rethink your relationship
My man and I have been together for 3 years. At first we had sex often..2/wk.. at most. Now.. we maybe have sex once a month if Im lucky. The problem is I dont get off during quickies which is all he provides. He has gone down on me a couple times but I have to literally beg him to. He watches lots of porn and looks at beautiful blond perfect fake woman on his phone and computer all the time. Im not ugly but Im no porn super model. So obviously this bothers me a bit. He says its not me and that he still thinks Im beautiful but still does not initiate anything. Everytime I try something always comes up or I dont have the time cause I have a 4 yr old. What is going on with him?
If they don’t do it to you.don’t do it to them.
Yellla
Don’t give him head anymore.
I love my boyfriend very much and the sex is wonderful but I hate the fact that I give him oral sex allllll the time and I can’t get it in return. I tried talking to him about it but he says its not his thing, what should I do?
I think there is a large percentage of men who enjoy giving oral sex to women, but there are those who are opposed to it. I think these men are hesitant because of thier lack of knowledge of the genitalia. I often notice the guys who like to go downtown tend to be more experienced and better in bed. So ladies don’t feel bad and think it’s you, most likely case scenario is they are frightened they won’t be good at it and don’t take criticism well.
I’d rather a man not have hair down there. With that said, I love to give blowjobs. Though I won’t say it, I want the reciprocation and I want him to enjoy it, not act like it’s a duty. “Just think of England” guys are a profound turn off.
i love the smell of balls, penis, a mans body hmm. i love a man to have lot of hair, especially down there he musnt shave! I know some men who do.i love to be nice and smooth for my man. i love dressing up for my man. as long as its clean down there ill suck him, and sometims it turns me on more when im giving him as much pleasure as possible, becuase it turns me on when hes turned on. i suppose im a giver. i have a fetish for my man to have their clothes on during sex, and for us to have quickies! i always suck him then go on top of him and have sex lol the best way for me to enjoy and get pleasure, and he seems happy too ;’)
—-No threats, just a general discussion here. The threats are a bit extreme lol. As i said, i prefer to give, but i probably wouldn’t like to date a guy who refuses to go down on me. I like things fair, equal, and the respect for eachother to be mutual. Its good to be fussy and find the right guy or girl for you, depending on your sexual desires and needs, otherwise, you just wont be pleased sexually and some may look elsewhere. If a girl really wants a guy to go down on her, but the guy says no, then the girl should look for a man who will. The same applies for a man. I’ve heard people say ‘but anal is the same, and if a girl refuses that, its the same concept refusing oral sex.’ This is not the same for many reasons. 1. Anal is for gay men (no offense), that is why a vagina is there. 2. Anal can cause STDs 3. Anal is too damn painful!! All this is just in my opinion, as I have never dated a guy who has not gone down on me.—-
There have been a lot of threats posted here from women threatening to cut off their men for not giving them a good tongue lashing. But what about the reverse situation?
I have never had a problem going down on a woman as long as she doesn’t smell offensively. If she does, I offer to giver her an interesting and pleasurable variation of foreplay and get her cleaned up. I’ve never been turned down for that!
But it’s been my very bad luck to not get the same consideration in return. I have never had a partner play by the same rules, so to speak, and do me as I’m willing to do. Am I to cut off my partner if I don’t get what I give?
I don’t, for I feel that any sex is better than no sex, and maybe the next one will be more cooperative. It’s better to think positive no matter what the track record.
I think giving oral is a matter of mutual respect. And while it is not the same “This bears repeating: Only one-quarter of women reliably experience orgasm during intercourse-no matter how long it lasts, no matter what size the man’s penis, and no matter how the woman feels about the man or the relationship.” -Psychology Today, since men orgasm consistently from sex and women do not. It boils down to the age-old treat others how you want to be treated. Perhaps it is your size that intimidates women? In any case I think it’s important to bring it up to your partners. I’ve had a single partner, I told him that his lack of giving made me feel as if he didn’t care about my pleasure and he immediately rectified the situation. Tell her how sexy her face is, and if she still isn’t into it ask her if she thinks its fair that she recieves when you don’t. I don’t think you should give oral to a partner that won’t do the same.
i love giving head! my bf dont mind it and if i ask him, he will without second thought, becuase he wants to please me, just as i want to please him. i dont get as much pleasure recieving, but more when i give. i proboably have second thoughts about dating a boy if they ‘refuse’ entirley to go down on me. i suppose i would think they are gay or unexperienced. And it would be a BIG turn off if they do not return the favour for me, becuase i would see it as biast and a pretty selfish relationship. i suppose us women prefer recieving need to find a man who does, and dump the ones who dont haha!
in addition to my above post He used to go down on me when we first got together and suddenly it stopped and so did the fingering. so now i ask any of you that are willing to help wtf is wrong with him what do i do dr phil any one HELP
Talk to him directly. Try to take the emotion out of your voice but use appropriately sad eyes. Tell him that it feels like he doesn’t respect you since he doesn’t take time for your pleasure. Tell him that sex makes you feel like he doesn’t care about you and your needs and it’s hard to look forward to it anymore. Ask him why he changed.
my husband wont go down on me he claims he dont like it. and supposingly never has when i tell him this is affecting our marriage as i just did like 2 seconds ago he said ” god thanks for being so understanding” as if I should just let it go. then he gets all but hurt when i say baby i need more in the bedroom im getting bored. I have tried everything under the sun to get him to go south on me he just wont do it this makes me feel like it is me and like i smell or taste bad and for the record I dont this i know cuz i have smelled it and tasted it in my own personal play time. there fore I now cant help but think that maybe he in the past cheated on me and performed oral on her and now wont on me cuz he is racked with guilt and wont tell me tht is what happened. this is going to wind up ending my marriage or im gonna wind up having an affair to get the oral pleasure that I need and desire. WTF do i do I am so lost I cant take it any more my options are divorce or affair it is that simple and this i have recently come to terms with. can n e one out there help me please. before I make a decision out of haste. and it winds up being the wrong decision