4/28/10
Your Call – I Sent Flirty Texts to Other Women and GF Left Me

Dear Em & Lo

My girlfriend of nine years just took off with our three kids to her mom’s. She caught me texting another girl — this is the fourth time. All the girls were friends from out of state. As we text more, we got a lil flirty and that’s when my ex would step in. I never intended on physically cheating. I just would talk to other girls for advice on my relationship ,but it went further. I realize I made many mistakes but she is the love of my life and the mother of my children. What do I do? She is so mad at me.

— Two-Timing Texter

What should Texter do? Leave your advice in the comments section below.



51 Comments

  1. is this what you would want for you kids!!!! for them to be treated like you treat their mother. do you want to see the hurt in their eyes!!!? would you like to see your grandchildern to go through the break up of their parnets?? lets get real just hearing the fighting that went on your kids heard it and are watching mommy cry OMG what a great father you are and lets not forget teacher as well.what will you think if one of the kids came home crying saying DAD that SON OF A B…. 4 times hows that sitting with you right about now the kids will grow up and better change what goes around comes arounds all in a ten fold.

  2. I think the main point that should be addressed, if you were wanting to even think about fixing up your relationship, is this: You were doing something you knew would make her unhappy if she knew about it, and yet you continued to do it. That’s not one of the recognized symptoms of love. Simply knowing that she didn’t want you to do it, should have been enough reason to stop. To be sorry for doing something that is essentially cheating, or to be sorry for being caught…two different things. At such time as you find yourself in a relationship again, whether it be with your ex or a new lady, keep in mind that anything that could be construed as cheating, is probably going to be seen as cheating if it is discovered. Also if you are doing something that you don’t want her to know about (barring surprise parties in her honor) then you’re probably doing something you shouldn’t. People know what is right or wrong, if they will let themselves know, but most of the time they just want someone to validate their choices. You knew what you were doing was wrong, you know that it would be wrong to do it again. From that bottom line, you start over, and take responsibility for the choices you make, and the consequences they bring.

  3. if shes the love of your life, and the mother of your children, why isnt she your wife? you don’t appreciate what she does for you and your response is to secretly flirt with other women? if your not ready to be in a committed relationship, then realize it, but trying to get her to commit to you when you don’t expect that of yourself is silly. relationships are far more that taking your pants off. as far as shes concerned you are trying to connect the with other women the same way she want to with you. i would have left you a long long time ago.

  4. If you have 3 kids with this woman and you haven’t been compelled to marry her, I can’t believe that she is the love of your life or that you really care about those children. Pay your child support and get out of her life and let her find real love. You shouldn’t need to sext other women if you really love someone, mild flirting just to give you some confidence…sure that’s OK.

  5. No, M.L., I’d understand if she didn’t take him back, but I never suggested that he shouldn’t try to piece his family back together. Although, it just might be better for the children if she didn’t take him back. Martial discord is certainly not healthy for the children. Either way, he needs to grow up and get his head out of his ass and take care of his family before he loses them all.

  6. Am I the only one who is concerned about these poor THREE children and their seemingly otherwise clueless and self absorbed parents’ behavior?

  7. Wow! way too much psychobabble going on here…
    The point is you fucked up and you got what you deserve.

    P.S. She would have to be an idiot to go back to you. (again) and if she does well… Then she get’s what she deserves…

  8. she did the right thing , i m having same problem ,my hubby texting other girls , and says they are only frends….u know what if u were realy sorry thn u was not going to do that 2nd time , and u did 4 time????
    dun lie that u was asking advise on ur relationship. if u have any thing thn better discuess with ur partner…. if she was love of ur life thn u was never going to do that with her……i know it was not only texting , maney other reasons were ther too. like not careing of her n ignoring
    u have lost ur trust now its v difficult to gain tht again….. i think she should not come back to u ,….i m also thinking same …..i caught him 3 time n next is last.

  9. I laugh at you. You cheated. Period. Hope she gets you for child support.
    Guys, get real. If you mess around,it comes back to you.

  10. Just in case he may actually be reading this…YOU ARE A COMPLETE AND ABSOLUTE DOORKNOB!

    You actually thought she would be okay with this…you are a totally emotionally stunted person who obviously has no ability to appreciate how others may see your behavior.

    You deserved to be left by her…too bad she was dumb enough to have your children…now she’s stuck with you!

  11. hah i hope karma gets you
    shes your wife!!! and the mother of your kids

    this is something you do in high school if you a prick you normaly grow out of it

  12. obviously if you made the mistake 4 TIMES you dont deserve her. if you are really sorry it should not have happened 4 TIMES! YOU just dont do that to someone you “love” especially the mother to your children

  13. Big Mistake fella. f you loved her at all you would have never started doing thigs liek that. I found out that my husband was trying to Hook Up with random women with no strings attached. I found all the posts on craigs list and online and he denied it to my face but later conessed to it and sadi he was wrong. But you know what? I WILL NOTbelieve him at all. he is doing it again. 9 years are going dow nthe drain. I have always made him happy and satisfied.

  14. As a female in a serious relatinship,i would say that its not a wise idea to ask a member of the opposite sex for advice about your relationship,unless they are related to you.that (obviously) causes problems.confide in a male friend next time

  15. Nine years, three kids and neither one of you could find the time or a reason to make a REAL commitment to each other?

    Did either of you think of the effect on your kids, of either the obvious lack of commitment, or the danger of them now having their parents in two different homes who are obviously not going to be able to get along any more?

    Kids are not just an afterthought of not using birth control. Kids need commitment from the people who conceived them. (And if you had the time to conceive THREE kids, you knew something about the fact that the relationship was supposed to be “permanent.”)

    Why no admitted commitment? But even now, it does have an impact on your kids and how people treat them, and it’s not like somebody made a mistake, the couple broke up and now the woman has to raise her baby alone, the two of you stayed together long enough to MAKE three children?

    I want to know where the hell is the commitment to a FAMILY? If there is NO commitment WHY have kids? 6.2 Billion people on the planet, do we really need people who just have kids because they forgot to buy rubbers? Or were to lazy to take the fucking things out of the nightstand drawer? (Because I AM assuming that in a relationship like you are describing, this is the only reason you HAVE 3 kids.)

    And despite the fact that this woman and you had THREE CHILDREN together, you feel “single” enough to still screw around, REPEATEDLY, even if it’s “just” on the phone? Do you even give a shit about your “girlfriend” and children? If so, WHY all the crap? (And why in the name of heaven would she have had ANY kids with you? Maybe she’s just as lacking in dedication, I have no idea. At least she had the eggs to get the hell out now. Too bad she didn’t think of it BEFORE.)

    I also am not buying that this last bout of being “caught sexting” was the ONLY reason she left. I’m guessing she’s been (stupidly) putting up with Non Monogamous behavior from you for a long time, perhaps the entire relationship, which begs the question WHY have all those kids, if nether one of you cares about how your lack of commitment hurts them?

    Did you expect any sympathy? Really?

    Pay your goddam child support, have a vasectomy and stop looking for pity.

    It pisses me off when people have kids with NO forethought and no care for how their infantile selfish behavior damages their poor children.

    Jeez, this pissed me off….

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