How Long Can a Virgin Make a Guy Wait?

Dear Em & Lo,

I’m a 26-year-old virgin and, while I’m not waiting for marriage, I am waiting for the right guy. You know, that guy that won’t pressure me for sex because it’s the 3rd date or break up with me after 3 months because I’m not ready. And yes, both of those situations have happened, on more than one occasion. As I get older, it seems more impossible to find a guy that will wait for sex. I want someone to respect me and make me feel safe enough to want to share that with him, because if a guy can treat me like crap after a nice evening where I cooked dinner and he didn’t get any, then imagine how much worse I would have felt had I given in and slept with him.

So, I guess my questions are: are there guys out there that will wait and respect me, how long is too long for him to wait, and what do guys think about a girl making them hold out for sex? I have male friends that respect me for waiting but, guys I date — that’s something else.

— The 26-Year-Old Virgin

What do you think the 26 Y.O.V. should do? Let her know in the comments below:


  1. God designed sex for married couples and not unmarried couples… Keeping your virginity is good and I advice you keep yourself till you’re married.. Virginity is a gift,once it’s lost, it cannot be gotten back… Don’t allow someone force you into having sex with them and also don’t allow anyone discourage you from waiting..Some guys say having sex creates bond which is not true…. If he truly loves you, why can’t he wait? If he loves you and he gives you alot of promises,why is he in a hurry to get what he’ll finally have when you both are married? There are other ladies who lost theirs and they wished they never did… I know it’s really not easy keeping yourself coupled with pressure but you shouldn’t be discouraged and also pray to God to give you the strength and grace to keep yourself…Do not give in to sex and do not let anyone force you into giving in.. Let your No be your No and your Yes be your Yes.. Be strong and firm in taking your decision.. Wait till your weddng night and you’ll be happy

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