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Moms Are Kinky People Too!

April 22nd, 2014

Lelo’s Etherea Silk Cuffs

Mother’s Day is just around the corner! Sure, you could get her some nice flowers…again. Or you could get her something she’ll really enjoy: our new book, 150 SHADES OF PLAY: A Beginner’s Guide to Kink!

Hear us out: Moms loved the Twilight series, but secretly wished there was more sex in it. Along comes the Fifty Shades series, which is essentially Twilight fan faction, and there’s tons of sex….kinky sex. Moms across the country go gaga for it, so much so that it’s dubbed “mommy porn.” Then the movie version goes into production, and mom-fans everywhere count down the days until its release: Valentine’s Day, 2015.

There are just a few problems:

  • Fifty Shades doesn’t tell moms how to incorporate any of this stuff into their own lives
  • it doesn’t mention specific quality products or where to get them
  • it perpetuates myths about kink
  • it even promotes some very dubious (i.e. unsafe) behaviors and techniques
  • and a year is a long time to wait until the movie comes out!

A mom friend of ours recently wrote us, saying she’s been married for quite a while and needs some new ideas, asking which book of ours we would recommend. We told her 150 SHADES OF PLAY: while it does cover some intense kinky stuff, it also covers the basics; it’s not visually graphic; it has a great sense of humor, which makes it fun and non-intimidating to skim with a husband or partner; and it gives readers a vouyeristic look into how extreme some people can get with BDSM which might make them feel more comfortable and confident to try new, mildly kinky things. Because let’s face it: a little toy or light bondage is nothing compared to pony play!

So when making the mom in your life a Mother’s Day care package this coming May 11th, remember: flowers are nice, but floggers are nicer.

What the Pets In Your Online Dating Photo Mean

April 22nd, 2014

Scientific research about whether you should include a pet in your online dating profile pic is, not surprisingly, rather flimsy. So we decided to put together our own report on featuring pets. The following guide explains the message conveyed by different kinds of pet in your online dating pic. Depending on the image you want to present, consider posing with your pet, cropping your pet from the pic, or borrowing a pet from a friend.

 

Man with Dog (Regular Size)

“I’m rugged and manly but can be tender and caring with the right woman. Every woman except the right woman, however, comes second to my dog.”

 

Man with Dog (Miniature)

“I like pink shirts, skincare products, and cunnilingus. And yes, I’m perfectly secure in my manhood, thanks.”

 

Woman with Dog (Regular Size)

“I take five minutes to get ready in the morning and I’ll never order a salad (dressing on the side) when we go out to eat. And no players, please: The only games I like are those I play with my dog.”

 

Woman with Dog (Miniature)

“I take more than an hour to get ready in the morning and I’ll order a salad (dressing on the side) even when you insist the restaurant serves the best steak in town. Also: be prepared for mind games.”

 

Man with Cat

“I honestly don’t give a shit what you think about my cat. Also, go ahead and bring your vibrator to bed — it’s all good. I’ll probably write a poem about it, if that’s cool with you.”

 

Woman with Cat

“My bed is strewn with my stuffed animal collection. And, ew, please don’t put your finger there. Like, gross!”

 

Man with Horse

“I’m rich as fuck.”

 

Woman with Horse

“Are you rich enough to be my man?”

 

Man with Rabbit

“I love to spoon. No, seriously, I love to spoon.”

 

Woman with Rabbit

“Will you hold me?”

 

Man with Bird

“I’m a control freak with a jealous streak.”

 

Woman with Bird

“I don’t like to make noise in bed. Would you please keep it down?”

 

Man with Snake

“I have an enormous penis.”

 

Woman with Snake

“I like kinky sex and big penises.”

 

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Your Weekly Horoscopes: Overplayed Inspiration Week

April 21st, 2014

grandcentral_ceiling_421photo by Simply Schmoopie

Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril! (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.)

aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th)
I’ve tried to talk to you and make you understand. All you have to do is close your eyes and just reach out your hands and touch me. Hold me close, don’t ever let me go. More than words is all I ever needed you to show. Then you wouldn’t have to say that you love me. Cos I’d already know. — “More Than Words,” Extreme

taurus (Apr. 21st-May 20th)
It’s raining men! Hallelujah, it’s raining men! Every specimen. Tall, blond, dark and lean, rough and tough and strong and mean. — “It’s Raining Men,” The Weather Girls

gemini (May 21st-June 21st)
Shake your arm, then use your form. Stay on the scene like a sex machine. You got to have the feeling sure as you’re born. Get it together right on, right on. Get up, get on up. — “Sex Machine,” James Brown

cancer (June 22nd-July 22nd)
I want a man with a slow hand. I want a lover with an easy touch. I want somebody who will spend some time, not come and go in a heated rush. I want somebody who will understand when it comes to love, I want a slow hand. — “Slow Hand,” The Pointer Sisters

leo (July 23rd-Aug. 22nd)
Tell him. Tell him that the sun and moon rise in his eyes. Reach out to him and whisper tender words so soft and sweet. Hold him close to feel his heart beat. Love will be the gift you give yourself. — “Tell Him,” Barbra Streisand and Celine Dion

virgo (Aug. 23rd-Sept. 22nd)
I’m so tired. I don’t know what to do. Oh, I’m so tired. My mind is set on you. I wonder should I call you but I know what you’d do: You’d say I’m putting you on. But it’s no joke, it’s doing me harm. You know I can’t sleep, I can’t stop my brain. You know it’s three weeks, I’m going insane. You know I’d give you everything I’ve got for a little peace of mind. — “I’m So Tired,” The Beatles

libra (Sept. 23rd-Oct. 23rd)
I love myself. I want you to love me. When I’m feelin’ down, I want you above me. I search myself; I want you to find me. I forget myself; I want you to remind me. I don’t want anybody else; when I think about you, I touch myself. — “I Touch Myself,” The Divynls

scorpio (Oct. 24th-Nov. 22nd)
Turn your heart-ache right into joy. She’s a girl, and you’re a boy. So get it together, make it nice. You ain’t gonna need any more advice. — “Love the One You’re With,” Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young

sagittarius (Nov. 23rd-Dec. 21st)
Celebrate good times, come on! There’s a party goin’ on right here — a celebration to last throughout the years. So bring your good times, and your laughter too. We’re gonna celebrate your party with you. It’s time to come together. It’s up to you, what’s your pleasure? Celebrate! — “Celebration,” Kool & the Gang

capricorn (Dec. 22nd-Jan. 20th)
Stay away from my window. Stay away from my back door too. Disconnect the telephone line. Relax baby and draw that blind. Kick off your shoes and sit right down. Loosen off that pretty French gown. Let me pour you a good long drink. Ooh baby, don’t you hesitate ’cause tonight’s the night. It’s gonna be alright. ‘Cause I love you girl. Ain’t nobody gonna stop us now. — “Tonight’s the Night,” Rod Stewart

aquarius (Jan. 21st-Feb. 18th)
You walked into the party like you were walking onto a yacht, your hat strategically dipped below one eye. You had one eye in the mirror as you watched yourself gavotte, and all the girls dreamed that they’d be your partner. You’re so vain, you probably think this horoscope is about you. — “You’re So Vain,” Carly Simon

pisces (Feb. 19th-Mar. 20th)
People, let me tell U somethin’. If U didn’t come 2 party, don’t bother knockin’ on my door. I got a lion in my pocket and, baby, he’s ready 2 roar. (Yeah. ) Everybody’s got a bomb, we could all die any day. (Oh. ) But before I let that happen, I’ll dance my life away. Oh, they say 2000 zero zero party over, oops, out of time! (We’re runnin’ out of time. ) So 2night I’m gonna party like it’s 1999! (We gonna, we gonna, oh!) Say it one more time: 2000 zero zero party over, oops, out of time! — “1999,” Prince

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The Best of Gabriel Garcia Marquez on Love and Sex

April 18th, 2014

photo via Wiki Commons

Colombian novelist and Nobel laureate Gabriel García Márquez died yesterday at the very respectable — but still heartbreaking, to his fans everywhere — age of 87. He is irreplaceable as a writer. In addition to bringing magical realism to the masses, he practically invented a new language for talking about love and sex — especially in his classic novels Love In the Time of Cholera and One Hundred Years of Solitude. In the latter book, he wrote, “A person doesn’t die when he should but when he can.” His words, however, will live on forever. Here are some of our favorite things he wrote on love and sex.

From Love In the Time of Cholera

“It was inevitable: the scent of bitter almonds always reminded him of the fate of unrequited love.”

“The problem with marriage is that it ends every night after making love, and it must be rebuilt every morning before breakfast.”

“Think of love as a state of grace, not the means to anything, but the alpha and omega. An end in itself.”

“He recognized her despite the uproar, through his tears of unrepeatable sorrow at dying without her, and he looked at her for the last and final time with eyes more luminous, more grief-stricken, more grateful than she had ever seen them in half a century of a shared life, and he managed to say to her with his last breath: ‘Only God knows how much I loved you.’”

“The only regret I will have in dying is if it is not for love.”

“The problem in public life is learning to overcome terror; the problem in married life is learning to overcome boredom.”

“Nothing in this world was more difficult than love.”

“Amputees suffer pains, cramps, itches in the leg that is no longer there. That is how she felt without him, feeling his presence where he no longer was.”

“She knew that he loved her above all else, more than anything in the world, but only for his own sake.”

“‘If we’re going to do it, let’s do it,’ she said, ‘but let’s do it like grownups.’”

“With her Florentino Ariza learned what he had already experienced many times without realizing it: that one can be in love with several people at the same time, feel the same sorrow with each, and not betray any of them. Alone in the midst of the crowd on the pier, he said to himself in a flash of anger: ‘My heart has more rooms than a whorehouse.’”

“Nobody deserves your tears, but whoever deserves them will not make you cry.”

“He had taught her that nothing one does in bed is immoral if it helps to perpetuate love. And something else that from that time on would be her reason for living: he convinced her that one comes into the world with a predetermined allowment of lays, and whoever does not use them for whatever reason, one’s own or someone else’s, willingly or unwillingly, loses them forever. It was to her credit that she took him at his word.”

“And yet that first experience, although cruel and short-lived, did not leave her bitter; rather, she had the overwhelming conviction that with or without marriage, or God, or the law, life was not worth living without a man in her bed. What Florentino Ariza liked best about her was that in order to reach the heights of glory, she had to suck on an infant’s pacifier while they made love.”

“Always remember that the most important thing in a good marriage is not happiness, but stability.”

“It was the first time she had made love in over twenty years, and she had been held back by her curiosity concerning how it would feel at her age after so long a respite. But he had not given her time to find out if her body loved him too. It had been hurried and sad, and she thought: Now we’ve screwed up everything.”

“When at last she recovered her self-possession in the perfumed oasis of her cabin, they made the tranquil, wholesome love of experienced grandparents, which she would keep as her best memory of that lunatic voyage. It was as if they had leapt over the arduous cavalry of conjugal life and gone straight to the heart of love.”

“She would defend herself, saying that love, no matter what else it might be, was a natural talent. She would say: You are either born knowing how, or you never know.”

“But when a woman decides to sleep with a man, there is no wall she will not scale, no fortress she will not destroy, no moral consideration she will not ignore at its very root: there is no God worth worrying about.”

From One Hundred Years of Solitude

“If I knew that today would be the last time I’d see you, I would hug you tight and pray the Lord be the keeper of your soul. If I knew that this would be the last time you pass through this door, I’d embrace you, kiss you, and call you back for one more. If I knew that this would be the last time I would hear your voice, I’d take hold of each word to be able to hear it over and over again. If I knew this is the last time I see you, I’d tell you I love you, and would not just assume foolishly you know it already.”

“There is always something left to love.”

“Gaston was not only a fierce lover, with endless wisdom and imagination, but he was also, perhaps, the first man in the history of the species who had made an emergency landing and had come close to killing himself and his sweetheart simply to make love in a field of violets.”

“It’s enough for me to be sure that you and I exist at this moment.”

“They were so close to each other that they preferred death to separation.”

“He dug so deeply into her sentiments that in search of interest he found love, because by trying to make her love him he ended up falling in love with her. Petra Cotes, for her part, loved him more and more as she felt his love increasing, and that was how in the ripeness of autumn she began to believe once more in the youthful superstition that poverty was the servitude of love. Both looked back then on the wild revelry, the gaudy wealth, and the unbridled fornication as an annoyance and they lamented that it had cost them so much of their lives to find the paradise of shared solitude. Madly in love after so many years of sterile complicity, they enjoyed the miracle of living each other as much at the table as in bed, and they grew to be so happy that even when they were two worn-out people they kept on blooming like little children and playing together like dogs.”

“And both of them remained floating in an empty universe where the only everyday and eternal reality was love.”

From Memories Of My Melancholy Whores

“Sex is the consolation you have when you can’t have love.”

“I became aware that the invincible power that has moved the world is unrequited, not happy, love.”

“No matter what, nobody can take away the dances you’ve already had.”

“Don’t let yourself die without knowing the wonder of fucking with love.”

 

From Of Love and Other Demons

“No medicine cures what happiness cannot.”

“Do not allow me to forget you.”

“This was when she asked him whether it was true that love conquered all, as the songs said. ‘It is true’, he replied, ‘but you would do well not to believe it.’”

 

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EMandLO.com Is Giving Away Free Trojan Condoms!

April 18th, 2014


sponsored post

In honor of STI Awareness Month, we’ve teamed up with Trojan to offer one lucky person:

  • 2 10-count boxes of Trojan’s NEW Double Ecstasy Condoms
  • 1 Midnight Collection package (1 vibrating ring, 4 Pure Ecstasy condoms, 4 lubricant packets)

YOUR CHANCES OF WINNING ARE GREAT RIGHT NOW!

All you have to do is one or more of the following between now and EOD EST on April 21st, 2014. The more you do, the greater your chances of winning!:

* (Let us know you’ve retweeted/shared by mailing us a screenshot of each FB post/Tweet: on a Mac, Command+Shiftshift+4 lets you drag and capture an area of the screen; click here for instructions on taking screenshots on either a PC or a Mac)

 

In the meantime, brush up on your condom knowledge and start wrapping up!:

  • How To Use A CondomThis brief, informative how-to video gives viewers a fun and interesting look at the exact way to get it on before you “get it on.”
  • How Condoms Are MadeThis exclusive factory tour takes viewers on an unprecedented look “beneath the sheets” at a Trojan condom factory, and a condom’s journey from the conveyor belt to your nightstand.
  • History of CondomsThis short documentary includes expert commentary on the history and creation of the condom, starting from its humble beginnings, to the innovations we see on today’s shelves.
  • New Condom iPhone AppTrojan is adding a little protection to everyone’s “hardware” with a new iPhone app, which includes sexual health trivia and a condom selection tool.

Prepare to have your mind blown by these stats (and check out the infographic below):

  • There are 65 million people in the U.S. who are living with an incurable STI
  • Each year, STIs lead to infertility in more than 24,000 women in the US
  • One in two sexually active persons will contact an STD/STI by age 25
  • Centers for Disease Control and Prevention estimates that there are more than 110 million STIs among men and women in the U.S. This includes both new and existing infections.
  • YET – only 1 in 3 sex acts among singles includes a condom

WHAT?!?! That’s outrageous. Especially since we’ve been promoting condom use and other safer sex acts since forever! Have we even made a dent? Help us make more of one and win some awesome condoms in the process!

We’ve

The 10 Types of Sex Dreams

April 17th, 2014

available on Amazon

Freud, Schmroid. If you’re looking for a good book on the interpretation of dreams, check out the one by our very own Lauri Loewenberg, dream interpreter extraordinaire! Dream On It: Unlock Your Dreams, Change Your Life (published by St. Martin’s Press) features hundreds of real dream interpretations and a comprehensive dream symbol dictionary to help you understand and make the most of your nocturnal visions, especially the sexy ones. There’s an entire chapter dedicated to sex dreams, which Lauri says are often “not about a physical union you want, but rather a psychological union you need!” There are 10 kinds of sex dreams; below are 5 of them; check out Dream On It for the other five archetypes (The Friend, The Same Gender, Oral Sex, Family Members, and Masturbation):

  1. The Mystery Lover – This is the most common of all sex dreams. Many of us wonder if this dream is actually a glimpse of our soul mate who might be out there somewhere waiting for us.  Alas, t’is not so.  But what is so is that the unknown, faceless man or woman that often appears in our dreams does indeed hold significance….Our dreams have a cool way of showing us the different parts of our personality in the form of a person so we can gain a deeper understanding of ourselves and what makes us tick. That being said, the mystery lover in your dreams is the embodiment, the personification of the qualities we tend to associate with that gender….Throughout life we struggle to incorporate the right balance of each [gender] into our personalities and behavior.  A man wants to be caring and understanding, yet he doesn’t want to be a sissy.  A woman wants to assert herself, yet she doesn’t want to be labeled the B word!  Our mystery lover dreams are guiding us towards that perfect balance of firm and gentle, bold and caring, yin and yang.
  2. Cheating — These dreams can be infuriating, worrisome and the cause of many a slap across the face first thing in the morning.  In fact, in a recent survey I conducted with over 5000 participants, the cheating dream came in as the #1 most common dream! As upsetting as these dreams can be, the good news is that they rarely indicate that your mate is getting his or her pleasures elsewhere.  They do suggest, however, that something rather than someone is taking the time and attention from your mate that you feel you deserve.
…[If] you are the one straying in your dreams you need to ask yourself what you may be doing that is taking your attention away from your mate.  The guilt you feel in the dream is a tell tale sign that, deep down, you are aware that this may not be sitting well with your significant other….Once you can pinpoint what it is your mate is “cheating on you” with, or what you may be guilty of giving too much time to, it’s time to compromise.  Offer to give up or cut back on something your mate isn’t a big fan of if he or she promises to cut back on the activity that is causing you to feel left out. If you both stick to the compromise, you’ll find that the dreams will stop.
  3. The Ex — Past lovers are very popular characters in our naughty dreams. Even though it may be light years since you were with this person, he or she STILL continues to appear in your dreams, bringing those old feelings back to the surface that leave you wondering if you still may be holding a flame.  

Most often, the ex we dream about the most is our first love.  Strangely enough, we continue to dream of our first loves, even if we’ve moved on into a happy marriage.  Don’t worry, it’s not that you want the ex back, it’s that you want what he or she represents back: excitement, bubbles, passion!  You are likely to get these dreams when you are in a dry spell or when your marriage or current relationship gets a little too routine and humdrum, as all relationships do from time to time.  Your dream is using your ex to remind you of the passion that is still alive inside of you.  These dreams are actually good for you and are alerting you to the fact that the passion department doesn’t want to become a thing of the past.
  4. The Co-Worker – This dream can make work a very uncomfortable place to be. Unless your co-worker causes your heart to skip a beat and your mind to wander into naughty, naughty land, then your sex dream(s) about him or her are nothing to cause you concern.  However, understanding the dream is well worth your while because odds are, that dream is actually trying to help you improve yourself at work.  Your dreaming mind may be telling you that you need to “come together” on some level with your co-worker, for the sake of work, that you need to have a meeting of the minds in order to make co-existing and co-working more efficient.  

But what if you don’t really have much to do with a particular co-worker during the day but you find yourself knocking boots at night?  All you need to do is ask yourself what stands out about that person.  Is he really good with computers?  Does the boss seem to favor her?   Maybe he’s easy going and doesn’t seem to have a care in the world.  There is very likely a quality he or she possesses that your dreaming mind feels you would do well to take on as your own.
  5. The Boss – Shagging your employer at night can sure make it difficult to come into work the next day.  If this is the case with you, remember, sex dreams are not necessarily about the person but rather about what he or she represents.  In the case of your boss it is most likely power, authority, management skills, decision making, et cetera that you need to merge into your own life.
 Do you need to take on the role of boss at home and better manage those unruly kids?  Are you facing a tough decision?  Do you need to fire or get rid of a certain element, person or behavior in your life?  Or perhaps you simply need to merge with your boss psychologically in order to deal with a client or project. Whatever the case may be, your boss dream is telling you that it’s time to take charge! Being decisive and authoritative would suit you well now.

For more on the 5 sex dreams above and to discover the meaning behind the other 5 most common sex dreams — The Friend, The Same Gender, Oral Sex, Family Members, and Masturbation – check out Lauri’s book Dream On It, available everywhere! Check out all of Lauri’s books here.

11 Sensual Gifts for May 11th (Mother’s Day)

April 17th, 2014

Flowers are okay. But moms like other stuff too: soft stuff, scented stuff, stress-relieving stuff, sexy stuff. Okay, so maybe you don’t want to get your Mom (or the mother of your children) a big ol’ dildo for Mother’s Day. But let’s try to think outside the vase. Below are some great gifts (for any budget) that she’ll really appreciate as a living, breathing human being (not a “domestic goddess”). Whatever you do, don’t get her another Edible Arrangement!

 

1.

“Relax Me” Fizzy Bath Balls

$4 each

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

These individually wrapped balls turn a bath into a bubbly cocktail of aromas and soothing salts. A calming mixture of luscious oils, baking soda, and intoxicating fragrance, Relax Me is the perfect ending to Mom’s extra-long day (and they’re all extra-long). Choose from English Lavender, Pear Vanilla, Pomegranate Mint, or Morning Dew. They’re body-safe and animal-product free, contain natural ingredients, and are made in the USA.

 

2.

Soft Sleeping Mask

$9

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Help Mom get a better night’s rest with soft and comfortable mask. The elastic band allows for a snug fit without putting undue pressure on the eyes. And, hey, if she can find another use for it — wink, wink, kink, kink — good for her!

 

3.

Luna Beads

$34

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Know a new mom? Or maybe an older one with sneeze-pee issues? Help them out with the best selling Kegel exercisers in the world: Luna Beads are designed to strengthen and tone pelvic floor muscles to improve pelvic health (which will probably intensify orgasms, but you don’t have to tell Mom that if you don’t want to). Made from body-safe materials and easy to clean, Luna Beads can be worn one or two at a time for a custom workout.

 

4.

Contour Ceramic Massage Stones

$25

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Who needs massage therapy more than moms? This award-winning, body-friendly, double-fired porcelain massager by JimmyJane is hygienic, non-porous, and easy to clean. These versatile massagers can be warmed up or cooled down for added sensation and their shapes allow for limitless possibilities for sensual or deep-tissue massage techniques (dome face down for long, smooth strokes, or flipped over for pressure point stimulation with the rounded corners).

 

5.

Flickering Touch Massage Candle

$29.90

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Made from all natural soy wax, Shea butter and apricot kernel oil, Lelo’s Flickering Touch Massage Candle melts into a pool of luxurious massage oil designed to nourish and moisturize skin with natural vitamin E. These Lelo candles have a burn-time of up to 35-hours and come in three light scents: Black pepper & pomegranate; snow pear and cedarwood; vanilla and creme de cacao.

 

6.

What Makes a Baby

$16.95

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It’s not exactly a sensual gift, but almost any mom will feel warm and fuzzy reading this awesomely inclusive book of reproductive love to their kids. Visually engaging, informative, and supportive, “What Makes a Baby” explains to kids from any kind of family where they came from. It’s a great jumping-off point for more discussion with kids about bodies and families by a certified sexuality educator (Cory Silverberg) and an award-winning artist/illustrator (Fiona Smyth). For preschool-age 8.

 

7.

Kimono Robe

$149.50

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lelo’s vintage kimono robe is made from the finest heavy weight silk crepe satin. With tulip sleeves and soft contouring, this opulent, short-length kimono features contrast facing and piping, a silk crepe satin tie up sash, and a discreet interior tie for extra hold. A nice alternative to the old terrycloth number she’s probably wearing out.

 

8.

Burberry for Women Eau de Parfum

$85

Steer clear of the trashy celebrity perfumes by the likes of Paris Hilton and Britney, and go for pure, classic class: Burberry for Women Eau de Parfum is a fresh and sensual fragrance with fruity top notes of blackcurrant, fresh green apple and bright bergamot. Heart notes of cedar wood, jasmine, and moss are intensified with warm notes of sandalwood for a rich and sensual tone. Warm notes of musk and vanilla smooth the base. Presented in a glass, 100ml bottle. Made in France, natch.

 

9.

Yoga for Beginners Boxed Set

$20.23

If Mom isn’t into yoga yet, it’s just a matter of time. Help her pull the yoga trigger with this popular 3-DVD box set that contains Yoga for Stress Relief, AM-PM Yoga for Beginners, and Essential Yoga for Inflexible People (and you know what flexibility is good for). Forty different routines focus on different physical and mental aspects of yoga, such as building strength, improving flexibility, reducing stress, etc.

 

10.

Molton Brown Seamoss Stress-Relieving Hydrosoak

$30

Is Mom in need of a deep-sea de-stress? Of course she is! She can dive into the blue waters of Molton Brown’s oceanic bath salts, made with marine extracts, Dead Sea salts and horse chestnut. The scent is energizing and the scrub clarifying.

 

11.

Original Magic Wand

$54.95

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Okay, okay, we know. But seriously, this is an awesome stress-melting back massager. Really. Whatever else Mom might figure out to do with it in the privacy of her own bedroom is her business — you don’t need to know about it.

 

 

Wise Guys: What If Her Libido Is Bigger Than His?

April 16th, 2014

photo via Flickr

Advice from three of EMandLO.com’s guy friends. This week they answer the following: “What would most guys think about dating a woman whose sex drive was higher than his? Would it be awesome? Annoying? Lead to insecurities? Make you think less (or more) of her? All of the above?” To ask the guys your own question, click here.

mark_luczak_100Straight Single Guy (Mark Luczak): Not possible, right? (What sex drive is higher than wanting it all the time?) Actually, as awesome as this sounds at first glance for the stereotypical hornball guy, in reality any dissonance in sex drive can be challenging on many levels (I’ve been on both sides of it to at least some degree). Feeling attractive and desired is unquestionably wonderful, but if someone simply happens to be in the mood less frequently, it can be uncomfortable for all involved. In the gender roles here, the guy might feel that he’s perpetually disappointing, while the girl might easily start to feel insecure emotionally and physically over why every opportunity isn’t taken.

With a strong enough couple and commitment, though, a variance in sex drive is hardly insurmountable. Communication and genuine willing flexibility can certainly overcome the challenges and leave everyone more than fulfilled.

daniel_100Gay Single Guy (Daniel): Most guys would probably love it if the woman they were dating had a high sex drive. I mean, isn’t that part of the fantasy of women in porn? A hyper-sexualized woman? I think it would only lead to insecurity if the man himself were insecure.

 

Straight Married Guy (David Felsen):

A) First of all, that’s just impossible. No. Wait. There was this South African woman who nearly broke me. Serves me right for dating a rolfer. I still get panic attacks whenever I hear a voo voo zela.

B) Trust me, there’s nothing “awesome” about a dislocated sacrum, a desiccated scrotum, and a deviated vas deferens. If you see a guy hunched sideways at a urinal or a tree holding a right angle and two golden raisins, it’s me. And yes, it’s “annoying.” I can’t say her libido “lead to insecurities,” as that started when my sister told me I was adopted.

C) “Think less of her?” I wouldn’t dare. I hope she’s found another guy to love…to death.

D) “All of the above.”

Our “guys” are a rotating group of contributors. This week’s Straight Married Guy is NY writer-comedian David Felsen; our Gay Guy is one-time stripper and sex columnist Daniel; and our Straight Single Guy is Mark Luczak, a tech geek at Carnegie Mellon University. To ask the guys your own question, click here.


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Comment of the Week: A Cautionary Tale About Shame

April 16th, 2014

photo via Flickr

An Em & Lo reader told the following cautionary tale in response to our post “Dear Dr. Joe, Can You Break Your Penis During Sex?” Just one more reason why we need be better, shame-eradicating sex education in this country:

Dr. Joe, very informative post. I’ve always heard that you cannot break it; however, early in high school, I had an injury on a band trip: short version, this girl, an older classmate, started holding my hand and I became so hard, with tight pants on, something broke/popped. I had to be carried off the bus and just said I had stomach pain. The pain was excruciating. I was too embarrassed to tell anyone, including my parents, so I wasn’t examined or treated in anyway. I spent the next several years trying to gradually straighten my penis back to normal. It finally healed back to maybe 80%-90% straight. Unfortunately, my erect penis size since that accident has remained maybe 3/4, at most, what it was before. It may be even more like 1/2 but too long ago to really remember.

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