Sexism
Pop Culture
Let’s (Not) Play Sexual Misconduct Bingo!

The #MeToo movement has proven that basically every woman you know (and too many men) have suffered at least one if not several incidents on the sexual misconduct continuum. You can play Sexual Misconduct Bingo, but it’s not a game and nobody wins. The only way to win is for witnesses of inappropriate conduct, victims […]

Advice
The Unbearable Lightness of Blowjobs

Miranda Levy is a major in Women, Gender & Sexuality Studies at Elon University where she pens a sex column for its student-run lifestyle magazine, The Edge.  “Popping her cherry” “Swiping my V-card” “Going all the way” All of these phrases — and countless more — connote one single, sexual act: intercourse. Given its reproductive implications, our […]

Pop Culture
Your New Favorite Book: “The Power” by Naomi Alderman

The Power by Naomi Alderman, which won the Baileys Women’s Prize for Fiction earlier this year in England, has already been hailed as “our era’s ‘Handmaid’s Tale,’” it’s that good.  The novel imagines women suddenly having the ability, thanks to environmental pollutants, to emit from their hands electrical charges of varying degrees — from prickly […]

Videos
Roy Moore: Right Winger (Hair Band Meets Hypocritical Politician)

  Roy Moore: Right Winger (Hair Band Meets Hypocrite) https://t.co/CrcenZF1Su pic.twitter.com/Y27Zjvo6bQ — Em & Lo (@emandlo) November 16, 2017   For more on shitty sexual predators:   Is What Louis CK Did Rape?   The Power and Pitfalls of Consent (Louis CK Part II) The Weinsteins of the World Get Permission in a Million Little […]

News
The Power and Pitfalls of Consent

A lot of strides have been made in educating people, especially college students, about consent. Many now understand you have to ask for it throughout a hookup, it must be given enthusiastically and verbally as you go, it can’t be given by people impaired by drugs or alcohol, and it can’t be given by minors. […]

News
Is What Louis C.K. Did Rape?

This past weekend, over takeout and then later texts, some friends and I were discussing the Louis C.K. allegations. (Talking about sexual misconduct, assault and rape has become regular cocktail party conversation these days, which is a good thing.) One friend shared the following social media post by the writer Emily Bracken: As a feminist […]

Pop Culture
When Your Son Wants to Wear Nail Polish…

Show him this! Em’s six year old is a cool, creative kid who occasionally likes to wear nail polish and hair dye. He also happens to be a boy. This — surprise, surprise! — means he’s been teased multiple times at school for it with the refrain “Only girls do that!” It’s a narrow world-view […]

Pop Culture
The Myth of Women’s Sacredness

We don’t want special treatment, just equality and justice. On October 19th, 2017, Chief of Staff John Kelly gave a fiercely personal defense of President Trump’s failed attempt at a sympathetic call to the grieving widow of one of the four soldiers recently killed in the Niger ambush. Having lost his own son to combat, […]

Pop Culture
The Weinsteins of the World Get Permission in a Million Little Ways Every Day

Some combination of personality flaw/disorder, power high, and celebrity allowed Harvey Weinstein (and Donald Trump and Bill Cosby and Bill O’Reilly…)  to allegedly sexually harass and assault many women for many years with impunity and without remorse. But there’s another factor at work in these cases — one that’s insidious, pervasive and widely permissible:  casual […]

Personal Essays
Here’s What Happened When I Confronted Men Who Catcall

Danielle Page decided to try to confront men who catcall. She asked them why they do it. Their answers will surprise you. I don’t remember the first time I was catcalled. Maybe it’s because I’m jaded from living and working in NYC, the catcalling capital of the world. Perhaps it’s due to the fact that catcalling becomes […]

Pop Culture
Is Fashion Fair Game? A Debate on Melania’s Hurricane Harvey Heels

Many people went batshit last week when Melania Trump wore stilettos on not one, but two separate visits to Hurricane Harvey devastation last week (though, to be clear, she changed into sneaks on the plane rides there). I (Lo) was intrigued by Rhonda Garelick’s think piece “Melania Trump and the Chilling Artifice of Fashion” in […]

Pop Culture
10 Predictions of Future Trump Policy Changes Via Twitter

On July 26th, 2017, President Trump announced a regressive and frankly hateful roll-back of an Obama administration policy which allowed trans service members to serve openly. The Trump policy announcement went like this: After consultation with my Generals and military experts, please be advised that the United States Government will not accept or allow…… — […]

Pop Culture
Movie Critic Debbie Edelstein’s Review of This Summer’s New “Spider-Man”

What a critique of a summer superhero blockbuster might look like in a matriarchal world (inspired by David Edelstein’s sexist review of Wonder Woman): The only grace note in the generally clunky Spider-Man: Homecoming is its star, the five-foot-eight-inch, barely legal, English actor and dancer Tom Holland, who is the perfect blend of teenage day-dreaminess and balls. The 21-year-old […]

Confessions
Can You Guess Which of These Cats Is Female?

A choose your own gender-venture! Our family recently adopted two kittens. We had our pick of the litter, so we figured we’d get a girl and a boy, just like our two kids. They decided to name the girl Rey and the boy Po. (Star Wars fans relax: for whatever reason — let’s call it […]

Your Call
Your Call: Does Sex on a 1st Date Really Ruin Your Chances at a Relationship?

We get a lot of advice questions coming in at EMandLO.com, but sadly, we just can’t answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. Make your call on the letter below by leaving your advice in the comments section.  I’m a 25-year-old woman who enjoys sex. I […]