Monogamy
Confessions
My Kung Fu Is Strong Against Your Pro-Polyamory Arguments

We have two companion posts, one called “Top 10 Reasons for Being – and Staying – Monogamous,” the other called “Top 10 Reasons for Being — and Staying — NON-Monogamous.” We intended each as encouragement for those people who prefer to be in their particular kind of relationship, not as indictments of one another. But home-team loyalty runs […]

How To
6 Ways to Tell You’re in the RIGHT Relationship

by Brianna Wiest for YourTango Sometimes it’s not a matter of finding the right relationship, but realizing when you already have it. The story we’re sold about love usually doesn’t go past the exposition. The part people write about and talk about and make films about is the seeking, finding, losing and finding again. We talk about heartbreak and loss, […]

How To
Top 10 Reasons for Being – and Staying – NON-Monogamous

We ran the lighthearted post called “Top 10 Reasons for Being – and Staying – Monogamous” as encouragement for those people who choose to be in exclusive, long-term relationships. Some readers took it as an indictment of non-monogamy, which wasn’t our intention at all. To prove it to you, here are 10 points in favor of the other […]

How To
Top 10 Reasons for Being – and Staying – Monogamous

Monogamy gets a bad rap these days — people say it’s unnatural, impossible, outdated, stifling. And, yes, sometimes it is! Especially if your wedding anniversary now contains two digits. But anything worth fighting for will usually put you through the ringer, and monogamy is no exception. So before your partner’s bad habits drive you to […]

How To
How to Truly Love Someone Unconditionally

by Michelle Brock for YourTango Is it even possible to find unconditional love? Unconditional love. A love that comes without any conditions, expectations, constraints, or parameters; a love that just IS. A love that is so perfect and so pure that it’s given freely – no matter what. Does it exist? And if it does, is it possible to practice in […]

How To
5 Ways to Get “Koselig” with a Loved One This Winter

We were recently introduced to the awesome Norwegian word koselig, which means a sense of coziness. According to a Fast Company article, koselig is “like the best parts of Christmas, without all the stress. People light candles, light fires, drink warm beverages, and sit under fuzzy blankets.” And according to recent research by a Stanford […]

Your Call
Is It Normal for a Guy’s Libido to Decrease in a Relationship?

We get a lot of advice questions coming in at EMandLO.com, but sadly, we just can’t answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. Make your call on the letter below by leaving your advice in the comments section.  Dear Em & Lo, Does a man’s interest in […]

How To
When Anger Is Helpful in a Relationship…And When It’s Not

Count to ten before you speak, we’re often told, especially when fighting with a partner. Take a deep breath and remember you’re talking to someone you love, the advice goes. Being angry means you’ve lost control, the theory goes. But is there ever a time when you shouldn’t count to ten — when a little anger […]

How To
How NOT to Spice Up Your Relationship

We’ve been in the magazine business for more than fifteen years, and we are still suckers for those stupid headlines like “537 Ways to Improve Your Sex Life TONIGHT!” We just can’t help flipping to that article while we’re stuck in the check-out line. What if just one of those “guaranteed” 537 tips is neither ridiculous […]

How To
How to Combat the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse… in Bed

You’ve probably heard of “The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse” — these are the four types of behavior that, when they occur on a regular basis in a relationship, are a good predictor of divorce, according to psychology professor and bestselling author John Gottman, Ph.D. According to the Gottman Relationship Blog, “The Four Horsemen typically […]

How To
5 Ways to Show Your Appreciation to Your Partner

Last week we published an article by YourTango explaining how to resuscitate your relationship after a bout of infidelity. The solution? You have to truly — and verbally — appreciate your partner. Like, a lot. But why wait for an affair to do this? In fact, appreciating your partner on a daily basis is a […]

How To
10 Things to Say to Your Partner Instead of “I Love You”

Saying “I love you” can become a form of punctuation in a long-term relationship. People say it at the end of a phone call, or on their way out the door, or as they’re falling asleep at night. And there’s nothing wrong with this. Expressing love often is a good thing! And it’s a nice way to check […]

Wise Guys
Men Are Not Hardwired for Cheating — Just for Sex

Advice from three of our guy friends. This week we ask, “Are men hardwired to cheat? More than women?“ Straight Married Guy (Ben): When it comes to sex, sexuality and attraction, men ARE hardwired for many things. We are hardwired to notice — men, women, whatever your sexual preference. We are hardwired to assess — […]

Pop Culture
5 Reasons Why You Should Read “I Take You” by Eliza Kennedy

Have you met Lily Wilder? You should. She’s the seriously funny, seriously sex-driven, and seriously flawed protagonist of the novel I Take You by Eliza Kennedy, which is on sale starting today. Here are five reasons why you should pick up a copy right now… 1. I Take You is a straightforward look at female […]

How To
Why Marriage Vows Should Include Sex

photo via flickr Traditional marriage vows cover better… and worse; sickness… and health; riches…. and poverty; forsaking all others… but not its opposite. What is the opposite of forsaking all others, anyway? Well, if forsaking all others is about the absence of sex (with other people), then its opposite, in our opinion, is the presence […]

Pop Culture
An Open Marriage Can’t Fix Something That’s Already Broken

A new memoir called The Wild Oats Project: One Woman’s Midlife Quest for Passion At Any Cost is giving a lot of committed monogamists the chance to say “I told you so!” about open marriage. Here’s the book in a nutshell: San Francisco-based magazine editor Robin Rinaldi felt like her marriage was in a rut, […]