10 Requirements for a Sexy Bedroom (Video)
In case you’ve been experiencing a bit of a dead bedroom lately, here’s a quick reminder of the basics of bedroom beautification. Because a beautiful bedroom is much nicer/more inspiring/less psychically distracting to make beautiful music in.
- Invest in sheets with a decent thread count — there’s nothing sexy about your bare skin against the equivalent of burlap.
- Only have plants/flowers in the bedroom if you can keep them alive and thriving. Dead things aren’t sexy.
- Invest in a nice, large bed so that there is plenty of room for both of you. If you need an XL bed, our friends at Fashion Database have a great list to pick from. Also, make sure your bed gives you proper support, because if you’ve got a bad back, you’re not going to feel much like pelvic thrusting. Make sure that the headboard is secure, that the bed’s wheels don’t roll (even better: no wheels!), and that nothing squeaks. The only weird noises you hear should be coming out of your mouths or other orifices; the only movement you feel should be coming from each other’s bodies and the Earth (get it? feeling the Earth move…?).
- Get rid of the bright overheads and decorate with some soft, flattering, low lights in various corners — even better if you put them all on dimmers. The occasional candle or two is nice, but don’t get all satanic ritual-y with 50 red fire hazards lining every surface of your bedroom.
- Even if you have minimal space, don’t put one side of your bed against a wall — that’s for kiddies and college students.
- Place some kind of bedside table on both sides of the bed so each person has a place to call their own within arms reach (for water glasses, lube, condoms, sex toys, etc). You get bonus points if the tables have drawers for maximizing discretion and organization.
- No dirty clothes on the floor, office papers cluttering your dresser, or overflowing closets. One of the main reasons hotel rooms are so sexy is because they’re neat and clean!
- Give your sex playlist the presentation it deserves: for minimal cost, you can invest in some small but nice speakers to surround your bed (you can even put a subwoofer under it).
- Save the family pictures for other rooms in the house. You don’t want your Mom smiling at you while you’re doing it.
- No television sets — that’s for the den. We’d even recommend a no-screen policy (ok, except for ebooks). And needless to say, no stuffed animals!
