10 Reasons Your “Ugly Vagina” Is Normal and Gorgeous

There’s no such thing as an “ugly vagina.” Here’s why…

Dear Em & Lo,

A male acquaintance recently started a conversation about “ugly” vaginas with my friends and me. He said that some vaginas resemble “kebabs” and that a lot of guys are really put off sex when they get a hot girl naked and find that her vagina isn’t as “neat” as they imagined it would be. It made me feel really self-conscious about my own, even though I never have been before.

Anyways, as I have never really seen many vaginas before, I decided to Google “ugly vaginas.” I was curious about what an ugly vagina actually is, and whether mine was one of them. Oh my god! I was shocked. What I thought was normal is actually “kebab-like”!!!! There were images of “beautiful” and “ugly” vaginas. The Vagina Institute in particular compares the two. The “beautiful” ones have plump outer labia and you can’t see the inner labia poking out from them…but the ugly ones are just like mine, when you can see the inner lips slightly.

It has made me feel so self-conscious. I hate to think of my ex and future partners being turned off by my vagina, especially as I try to keep it neat by trimming and waxing! Now I feel like growing a bush to try and hide my lips! The horrible things is, I think when I was younger my vagina was more beautiful (I’ve seen the pictures of me running around naked on the beach as a child)…at least it looked more like the beautiful vagina pictures. It looked more like a little bottom than an adult vagina.

Do you think that I have made it look worse by having lots of sex or something? Or is it just where I am older (I am 22 now). Can you have surgery on your vagina? I really want my inner lips to be made smaller. Is it possible?

— “Ugly” Betty

Dear U.B.,

Oh man. Where do we start? We could write an entire book on this topic. And it would involve a lot of ranting and swear words. Let’s try for the abridged version.

First of all, the bad news about your “ugly vagina”:

We hate to say it, but yes, there are plenty of guys out there who, like your pal, use terms like “roast beef” or “kebab” to describe what they consider to be “ugly vaginas.” (Ignoramuses! The correct terminology for external female genitalia is vulvas, not vaginas, so we’ll be using that from here on out.) We wish we didn’t live in the kind of world where sexist idiots come up with insulting names for female anatomy, but damn it, we do, and much as we’d like to lie to you and tell you that all guys are just happy to get access to any vulva, no matter what it looks like, we can’t.

These same guys will probably tell you (if you ply them with enough drinks) that a so-called “ugly vagina”, where the inner lips protrude beyond the outer lips, looks that way because the woman has had too much sex. And this is why they find “imperfect” genitalia a turn-off — it makes them think the vagina has too much “mileage.”

What the double-standard fuck? Know this: they’re flat-out wrong. Sex does not make your labia “grow.” Let’s say that one more time: The size and shape of a woman’s labia has nothing to do with the number of notches on her bedpost.

But now the good news:

Just because some guys think this way, doesn’t mean they all do. Nor does it mean you have to put up with it. Say no to vulva prejudice! Here are ten things you should know that may help you fight the good fight.

1. There’s no such thing as abnormal.

Even though seedy quack operations like the Vagina “Institute” (no link for them, they’re assholes) will tell you that vulvas like yours are “abnormal,” they’re not. There’s no such thing as abnormal when it comes to labes. (Okay, maybe if you could play hackysack with your inner labia, that would be a bit abnormal.) Labia come in all shapes and sizes. Most women’s aren’t symmetrical, and it’s incredibly common for a woman’s inner labia to protrude beyond the outer labia. (It’s for this reason that we always use the terms “inner labia” and “outer labia” rather than “labia majora” and “labia minora,” which falsely represent the scale).

2. Blame porn.

You know the only place where the vast majority of vulvas do look “perfect” (i.e. the same)? Porn. And it’s for the same reason that most of the ladies in porn have big boobs: It’s a job requirement, so if they weren’t born that way, they go under the knife to get that way. It stands to reason, therefore, that guys who watch a ton of porn are more likely to have strong (and wrong) opinions about your labia. Check out this Australian (NSFW!) report on how porn is responsible for the rise in labiaplasty operations.

3. Labiaplasty schmabiaplasty.

Yes, you can have surgery on labia. And NO, YOU SHOULD NOT EVEN CONSIDER DOING THIS. If you don’t believe us, Dr. Kate says the same thing. Your labia are full of nerve endings. Every day we are inundated with letters from women saying they can’t orgasm — and you want to lessen your chances?!! Labiaplasty (that’s the “technical” term) to trim your inner lips definitely won’t make sex feel better for you, and it definitely could make sex less pleasurable or even painful.

4. Love (and often mere lust) conquers all.

The more a guy is into you, the less likely he is to give a shit what your vulva looks like. Sure, there are some guys out there who have an unbending aesthetic preference, love be damned, just as there are some women out there who can’t imagine sticking it out with a guy who’s less than average-sized. But just as most women will overlook a man’s size if they’re in head over heels for the man attached to that penis, so too will most men be a-ok with your labia. Hey, it’s not the worst thing in the world to hold off on getting naked with a guy until you’re sure he likes you for more than just your genitals.

5. Can you say “nerve endings”?

Some of our best friends have classic “ugly” vaginas. And you know what? Anecdotally speaking, some of them may enjoy sex a little more because of it. Like we said, the inner labia are chock-full of nerve endings, and they encase the clitoral head, which means that during intercourse, there’s a whole lot more friction going on. Friction = stimulation = Big Os for her. So there, you vulva fascists.

6. Beauty standards are arbitrary.

You know what we think is ugly? That plucked-chicken look a vulva gets a few weeks after a full Brazilian (or sometimes even a few days after). Sure, maybe that makes us vulva fascists, too, but we’re just saying is all: Back before people started taking it all off down there, nobody stressed out about their “ugly vagina”, so far as we know. We don’t think you should necessarily opt for re-growth to “hide” your vagina — you’ve got nothing to be ashamed of — but you should know that nobody’s adult vulva looks like a little girl’s, with or without pubic hair. So stop trying!

7. Girly-looking vulvas are for little girls.

And you know what? We’re kind of glad that nobody’s adult vulva looks like a little girl’s. Who wants their vulva to look like a 7-year-old’s? Or a little mini tushy on a kid? That’s some fucked up shit!

8. The internet is NOT your friend.

Next time you’re feeling self-conscious about a body part, do NOT Google it. The Web is overrun with horny 13-year-olds who have unlimited access to porn and very limited knowledge of real women.

9. People and their body parts are diverse AF.

Libraries are supposed to be “neat.” Office cubicles are supposed to be “neat.” A lawyer’s side part is supposed to be “neat.” Your labia are not.

10. There are plenty of unfussy fish in the sea.

If, like us, you wish we didn’t live in this kind of world, then start changing it, one man at a time: Educate your guy friends. Don’t date with men who use the term “ugly vagina” and make you feel self-conscious about your vulva. Do date men who are respectful of women and seem genuinely happy to be given access to your genitals. Educate your female friends. Love your vulva.

Yes, we just lit a patchouli-scented candle.

Em & Lo

This post has been updated.

Now that you love your “ugly vagina,” here are 
10 Easy Ways to Keep Your Vagina Healthy


  1. I LOVE long hanging lips! They are beautiful. I much prefer a big protruding lips than little neat ones. Don’t let anyone tell you big is ugly. Actually, except for very obese, I love all body types. I love large breast, but also small breast. Variety is wonderful. It would be boring if everyone was the same. There is no one standard of what is beauty. I don’t like fake tits. Women should be comfortable with their bodies. Actually I think women are more hung up on the perfect body than men are.

  2. Great in-depth article by Em&Lo for women who have vagina insecurities. I just wish they had written a similarly equivalent article with the same passion defending with compassion, sensitivity, and empathy all sizes and shapes of men’s penis.

    1. Neither men nor women deserve to be shamed, ridiculed and made to feel inferior because the way they were born. That will always be considered cruel and unacceptable behavior. In regards to women’s vaginal issues, I just haven’t seen that kind of nasty treatment as a widespread problem. Most men love women’s vaginas of all shapes and sizes and would be totally happy with whatever vagina a woman has. Unfortunately, the same cannot be said for women’s attitudes towards men’s penises and that nasty treatment that men endure is a widespread problem. According to polls, there is a high percentage of women who answered the question does penis size matter with a yes, have a preference, and many of them want large and are labeled size queens. On the reverse side, I just don’t see a high percentage of men caring about vaginal size, breast size, or harshly judging any other part of a woman’s body. Summarily, I’m not saying this cruel judgment of women’s vaginas doesn’t happen to women but it isn’t the major widespread problem that women cruelly judging men’s penises. If you truly love and care about someone, you should automatically love their genitals, too. That’s an important part of what love is. It just seems that far more men understand this than women.

      1. Women HAVE always been judged for their looks! Men make all kinds of rude comments about women’s tits, asses, etc. So it’s very narrow sighted to think that men are shamed more than women. I have never met any woman who’s shamed a guy for his penis size. Never even overheard it.

  3. I am fully prepared to offend people by saying this, but I can not STAND the look of those vaginas. I’m very blessed to not have the enlarged labia, and If I did I wouldn’t hesitate to get the surgury. I do not look like a 7 year old by the way, all it should be is a slit!

    1. I think it is a personal choice to get surgery, but it is also important to realize that every vagina (shape, size, etc) is a normal vagina. A vagina “should be” healthy and happy and that is all! Try and refrain from entering the realm of judging your fellow females’ bodies.

  4. No, stop trying to make it ‘pretty’. Truth is, large labia is made out of the same thing as scrotums. So it makes you more manly. Men don’t like it because it looks like ballbags.

  5. This is complete bullshit. If you think you vagina is ugly then it is to you. To follow this article and convince yourself its gorgeous is delusional and idiotic. These stupid sweeping statements that unqualified throw away internet sites make

    1. Wow. Well judging by your illiterate statement, I doubt your opinion holds anymore weight than that of the writer of this article. So why don’t you hop off the computer and let people beleive what they want. Clearly you have some insecurities of your own. I mean that has to be about the most negative thing to do. Hop on an article that is just trying to spread some positivity. You sound like a bitter hag. Grow up and move on. If you don’t like the article, don’t read it.

  6. I’ve noticed that the men who hate vulva tend to be less endowed. And they cheat too. I think all vulva are beautiful, like a flower.and I am not even a lesbian.

  7. I’m 55 and until this weekend I had no idea what my “last bits” looked like. My ex husband and past lovers never seemed to have any complaints. So, anyway, out of curiositytook i took pictures of my coochie…and compared it to other pics online . Theres an Aussie website called labia library. Not pornographic. Had no idea how dul ifferent peoples vulvas can be. Im happy to say that my vajayjay looks pretty good for perimenopausal woman who gave birth twice. Was a bit surprised to see so much gray hair doen there, though. I look at it this way. We are all creatures God made and He don’t make ugly. The Scriptures say we are fearfully and wonderfully made. That includes our private parts in addition to what’s always visible. Our feminine area something to be cherished, not abhorred. Consider all it does throughout our lives: eliminates wastes, provides passage for new life through childbirth, gives and receives pleasure. Anyone who puts down someone’s genitalia as “ugly” is emotionally immature and should not be getting sexus l with anyone until they get some kind if counseling.

  8. There are ugly labias. Literally the one your talking about is one of them. There are also ugly dicks you cant deny it. If a labia can resemble roast beef enough where multiple people see the resemblance theres a problem.

  9. Yet again, more girls giving other girls bad advice.

    There are ugly dicks, there are ugly labia.

    What constitutes each is different and individual. Women tend to always guess wrong. Tons of guys like labia.

    Please don’t give crappy cheerleading “everyone is gorgeous” advice. It’s just wrong and misleading.

  10. Only concerns: is the hair close to her vag so long that it gets dragged in? Ouch! It will grind the skin off your dick. A little trim may be in order. If you can stick Dick all the way in and then just move in and out a little bit, maybe around 1″, the wear and tear on your skin is minimized.
    More common hair problem is tight circs that cause Dick’s pubic hair to be pulled up the shaft. Now she will be the irritated one.
    Long inner labia can also get flipped over and pulled in. No fun. Just make little short strokes: in 1″, out ½”, in another 1″, out ½”, in 1″ until Dick is all the way in Cunnie. Now hopefully Lip is out. If she is not good and slippery this is more likely to happen; spend more time working her up, or if you hafta, K-Y type lube should help.
    Women should be discouraged from labiaplasty. All that matters is that Dick’s friend Cunnie does her job so he can do his. Dick is blind, so he doesn’t care what Cunnie looks like.

  11. There are so many shallow and revolting people out there – and it is evenly spread among the genders – for every horrible man that hurtfully remarks about the ugliness of a girls vagina there is a woman who belittles a man about the size (or lack thereof)) of a mans penis (equally hurtful – if not more-so)

  12. I am a 55 year old male. I started dating my wife when I was 15 and we were married the summer after I graduated from college. Our next anniversary will be our 33rd. I have never had a sexual experience with any other female. I love her too much to for a question of vaginal aesthetics to even make sense. Any male who would make such a comment should confine his sexual activity to masturbation. I would advise my 21 year old daughter to run away from such a shallow and insensitive man as quickly as possible. Do not subject yourself to such emotional abuse. There is no excuse or scenario that would make such a comment okay. Take such a comment as incontrovertible evidence that the relationship is toxic for your emotional health and eventually your physical health. If you cannot stick to your decision to break off the relationship, then you need to see a counselor. I think you need to see a counselor in order to minimize the emotional harm that he has already inflicted upon you.

    1. Only total Two-Anus jerks will tell a woman that she or any part of her is ugly. If she is, you can be sure she already knows it. Tell her she’s beautiful. She knows you’re lying, so it doesn’t count. She likes to hear it, anyway.

  13. I disagree when the article says there is a double standard or sexism.

    Some men will find your vagina ugly, some won’t. Just like some men will like your face, some won’t. It’s all about taste and color, and it has nothing to do about sexism or whatever.
    Personally, I don’t like seeing vaginas. The advantage with a tight vagina is that… you don’t see it. That’s why there are beautiful, because they are invisible.
    I’m turned off and I lose my erection when I see too much of a vagina.

    Should you get surgery? Would you ask your boyfriend to get penis surgery if his size/shape wasn’t good enough for you? If yes, then yes, you should do surgery. If not, then don’t.

    Also, why being offended when a vagina is compared to a kebab? Men gladly put their mouth into both!

  14. woman’s inner labia to protrude beyond the outer labia. (It’s for this reason that we always use the terms “inner labia” and “outer labia” rather than “labia majora” and “labia minora,” which falsely represent the scale). WTF a labia majora is the outer part of the vagina. the labia minora is lips full stop.whether they stay hidden in the outer wall(labia majora, or they show ) they are two totally different parts,,your lips ” are your labia minora,whether they show or not.

  15. As a 29 year old guy who’s been with a decent amount of women, I can honestly say no vagina is ugly. They are all different, unique and beautiful.

    Do I have a preference? Sure, I prefer there are outer lips sticking out as it reminds me I am with an adult woman and not a pre-pubescent teenager.

    This whole “neat” or “roast beef” thing is just immature and stupid. If a guy mentions that, I say run as he has issues of his own.

    Lets face it, The lips have to be big enough that you notice them or else it’s just like “Where’s the rest of it?”

  16. Oh and btw,FYI. The only time i have EVER gotten off while actually having sex was with a guy who has what society says is a very small penis. So size ain’t everything guys, just saying.

    1. Anything over 7″ fully erect and he needs to be careful how deep he goes and how fast. Cervixes usually like gentle caresses, not whambams. That shortdicked men haven’t been selected out means they work OK.

  17. Ok, so I am 22. I have rather large lips too, have always been that way. I hate it. Ive actually cried. And then I had kids. They didn’t really change, at all. Ive wanted surgery as long as ive known its been out, but my husband tells me im crazy for even thinking that way. Yet he is one of those men who watch ALOT of porn, and to be honest I truly hate him for it, so we are splitting up. Anyways, I want surgery because I hate the way I look down there. I’ve made him understand that if he wants oral, I get it too. The End. But it makes me wonder if it grosses him out, I’ve only just started to let him go down on me cause of my embarrassment. He tells me I’m dumb for wanting a boob job and some work down there, yet he is consistently ruining our marriage by watching porn with girls that have naturally larg boobs and *supposedly naturally small lips. WTF do I do? Leave his hypocritical @$$ for someone else, or just stick with it feeling absolutely miserable about my self???

    1. I realize this post is a year old BUT i just read it and have a responce i hope Divinity reads.I am a LOT older than you but I have similar issues while i like the way my lips etc… look i want a boob lift and tummy tuck REALLY BAD.My husband (He is several years YOUNGER than me)also tells me im crazy and our sex like is good!! I have tried to explaine that it is a self image thing with me of what i used to look like you know tight firm everything.Im still slim with natural DDD boobs that are not as high or firm (DAMN AGING)as they used to be and i have a tummy pooch(I HATE POOCH MOST OF ALL) After watching some porn(MY IDEA) by myselfand with him later.He was surprised i brought porn into the room as i used to find it offensive there’s that low self -esteem again. I have decided i still look pretty good and focus on the pleasure of whats going on and not that he sees my pooch or droop..Sure most of the porn stars (female as well as male)look good but some just have UGLY PARTS!!!! So Divinity if you truly hate him go find happiness for yourself(If you havent already) but if there is hope watch the porn with him ask him which ps turns him on or off and you to will see they all are NOT good bodied beauties.

      1. Unless one is a real sickoperv, regular porn showing people who are basically normal having the usual varieties of sex is all they will want. It gets tiresome pretty quick, so if someone is watching it’s for hours a day, week after month after year, there’s something wrong. If they go for torture, mutilation, murder I’d watch out.

    2. I get this is old but I’m going to respond anyways. I’m married to a man who loves porn and it created a lot of insecurity. He refers to my vagina as roast beef and my boobs as pancakes. Then one day I got tired of hating my body. Fuck him. Constant porn creates messed up expectations and it’s him who has the problem not you. I love my body. I’m young and decently attractive and I love my saggy boobs and large labia and I know there are plenty of men that love them too. I’ve had 4 kids and love myself more than I ever have. Don’t care about what your man thinks. Love your body.

  18. @Becca

    Don’t listen to Dexter. He’s just an older guy still trying to get into the pants of young women, and he’s playing on your insecurities. For God’s sakes, he even recommended that if you are in your mid-teens (MID-TEENS!) to find a much older man! WTH? Stay with the young men while you can–the older man is automatically better myth is just that, a myth.

    I don’t know your exact age, but to give you some perspective, I have large, protruding inner labia, more than the 3cm you say you have. I had three lovers in my late teens to mid-twenties (the same age as I). All three of them were absolutely enthralled with my pussy. None of them were put off in the slightest. Just the opposite, actually. I know that for two of them, mine were the first large ones they had ever encountered, and all three went crazy for them.

    If you’re really worried, wait for someone you love, who loves you (yes, the old love thing is still alive and well and still makes a difference). And the guy you had sex with, who said it was amazing? Believe him! Light’s off or not, he knows what you have, and how he felt.

    1. Just gotta say I loved your post Anna, I really dig your self confidence and your don’t give a shit attitude. Huge turn on for us guys. Nothing better than a woman is proud of what she’s got and isn’t afraid to show it.

      I def would be one of those guys that was “enthralled” with those lips for sure.

      Ladies, stop being so sensitive and kick these jack asses to the curb that aren’t happy with what you got because I am sure there’s plenty of other guys that would go ape shit for you.

      just my two cents.

  19. Genitalia is for function… not aesthetic appeal.

    Of course male & female genitalia is weird and gross at first… but after a while you get used to it and even recognize what a good looking genitalia looks like.

    I’m bisexual and there are some very attractive penises & vaginas out there.

  20. There’s only 1 word for a woman’s genital parts. “Pussy”. You are not a real man if u don’t like them all. Female is female. The most beautiful creatures this world has to offer. There’s nothing more I could possibly want if all in this world were lost. “Pussy”. I love em big, small, fat, skinny, loose, tight, clean, and dirty. Depends on my mood. Any man that can’t agree with that is a “pussy”. And that’s all I have to say about that. Grow up & grow a pair u losers who don’t like certain types of the most gorgeous thing ever created in the universe!!!!!

      1. Some of us do…but society doesn’t encourage it. They call women names if we admit to liking penises. That’s another good topic for this forum, by the way.

    1. ^ Captain White Knight to the rescue!

      Never fear ladies, the Captain is here to make sure you all feel better about your ugly vaginas.

      No woman will ever feel the sting of sexual rejection or vaginal denigration whilst Captain White Knight is here!

      You are all beautiful! There is no such thing as an ugly vagina. Just ugly boys who cant handle the supremeness of your vagina.

      Now, here is my phone number (xxx-xxxxx) just in case those evil meanies ever talk badly of your vagina again. I will sort them out for you!

      For i am Captain White Knight! Here for your protection and console!

  21. Oh! Thanks my self esteem boost! I’m ashamed with my so called ugly vagina but the fuck! It has a name and it was so called FATTY VAGINA LIP , I have it and my partner always says ” its not ugly , its beautiful ” but obviously fatty is not that beautiful . Its ugly , yeah I have it but I admit it too , that it was ugly . But they say ” Be what your vulva was meant to be ” . Just be thankful you have vulva or what you so called vagina ! Your a human! And a human has a right to be respected .

  22. This made me feel better about myself until I started reading the comments. I have large inner labia and I have always been ashamed of it. I had a guy tell me that I was gross and he didn’t like the meat. Every time he would look at me down there he would get sick. I had myself pierced to maybe boost my confidence a little bit but to no avail. My husband now wont perform oral sex on me and it kills me because I feel it’s because of my horrible lady parts. Please help?

    1. In solidarity. You are amazing labia included. One day the coveted rare labia shall be remembered to be the most lovely labia of all. We are only renting these bodies anyways, so love what you have, degradation of any given piece or part only serves to hurt our souls. It could be a test, only those with appreciation and empathy are allowed anywhere near my vagina. All we endure are simply lessons, love yourself and others in kind. Rock lengthy labia as exotic and sought after rare delicacy. U are perfect

      1. Mine (said labia), have been known to cause suffering in my mind and heart. Freedom= at least no one can partake without admission (better than ugly face, etc.) Worse would be a tiny penis(so sorry to any with that predicament) and certainly many are longer and weirder than mine. All are worthy. Fuck all this shaming

  23. ps I got to thinking the tightest vagina I ever had the girls inner labia stuck out about an inch And a half past her Outer labia

    1. …hate to say, but probably because her extra long inner labia went inside of her vagina making it seem tighter. I not only have long inner labia, but that whole “they’re so sensitive…don’t get ps” is something people should speak only for themselves about. Mine are almost completely numb except from where they attach to my body to about a quarter inch down. All my labia do are get in the way and cause pain because they go inside my body sometimes and the area where there is sensation feels pinched…plus my inner labia absolutely do not get wet and are paper thin and see thru when stretched so it causes painful lubrication issues. Not to mention no one has EVER found my inner labia “normal” and neither do I. I believe this particular blog post goes a little far (as other similar sites) in trying to convince women there is no “abnormal” or no “issue” when there is a spectrum of normal and some of us go to the far negative end of that spectrum.

      1. *edit*
        …when there is a spectrum of normal and NOT normal and more than just a few of us go to the far negative end of that spectrum…

  24. whoever don’t like large inner labia are stupid I can’t get enough of them think of it this way would you rather eat a big ole juicy steak or a little piece of balogna because large labia is like the steak big juicy delicious and you cant get enough

  25. I AM FREAKED OUT! haha i am not even thinking about having sex.. i mean at all. never have. but i feel like so scared of my biger lips. i hate it.. i just want to cut them off myself! i want to go in the army.. people are going to see me naked and see the lips too. i dont understand why guys say something is loose? i thought that ment on the inide and on the opening.. anyway.. i guess i just want to hear from someone.. i dont want to spend my whole life with this stupid weight that wont go away on my sholders. i feel like if i loose my verginity then i will have nothing left thats special about me..

  26. Well I also fall into the ugly category. Like many I have seen women on porn and asked my partner bout the look. Along with my boyfriend and some other male friends I was told small vuvlas my look neat but “ugly” feels better. So the term “bigger is better” works for us too ladies. I was informed that the larger vuvla adds more suction when the thrust is on the outward motion. Such as using a hand while giving a man oral. Lets face it a man’s to gonna be showing his friends your whoha so I’m thinking once a man finds that pleasure he is not honna care much about it looks like , exspecially when we have to look at there hurry one eyed creature.

  27. I get that this article is trying to raise the self esteem with those women who consider their labias ugly because the inner lips are longer than the outter but I feel a little discouraged by the overall conclusion. I am fortunate enough to have what society considers a ‘beautiful’ female genitalia (thanks mum and dad) and here
    It’s like I’m supposed to feel ashamed for having the stereotypical porn vag. Every girls privates are both beautiful and kinda gross but that’s what we got, someone fix this article

    1. i know this is a year old, but good grief you are so obviuosly passively bragging. Get over youself. “Someone fix this article?” Puleeeze. It’s not aimed at you sweety, look at the title: Reasons your *UGLY* Vagina is normal and gorgeous. Your whining would be valid if the title were Reasons your PERFECT (thanks mom and dad) Vagina is Normal…

  28. What REALLY pisses me off is all the girl sites who tell girls that it’s ok to prefer a bigger or thicker penis. Those sites “empower” girls to embrace and appreciate larger and thicker penises without emphasizing the fact that unless the guy is miniscule, sex can be just as enjoyable if the guy is 5″ or 9″.

    So,I am proud to say that I love the “pretty” vaginas, The ones without meat curtains, the ones that look 7 years old! And I hope this gives girls as many sleepless nights as I have had worrying about a 5″ penis that is very tiny soft but becomes the smaller side of normal when hard.

    Finally, payback for all the dick jokes!

    1. Note: This comment is not to comfort nor anger you, hence my chosen nickname. If anything, it’s to help someone or at least offer further feedback from someone sincere and fairly young (30) yet mature in the matter.

      I personally prefer 4.5 to 5 inches; another of my numerous vaginal flaws is a very shallow vagina. And, for me, a “normal/large/huge/etc” dick (thankfully, Ive only had to deal with one and one time only) not only hurts but does nothing for vaginal orgasms, which I pretty much depend on since the clit just doesn’t do much for me and have never gotten of orally nor via direct stimulation to it.

      With that said, you (or whoever is similar to op and reading this) come off as so bitter and really need to get out there and find a girl who doesn’t want to just “fuck”. Otherwise, you will be sleepless and resentful of women forever and miss out on love–which by the tone of this post, it is implied that you don’t even want that, you just want sex with an abnormally tiny vagina.

      Also, furthermore, as I mentioned in my first post, I have “meat curtains” and am embarrassed of my vagina b/c of guys just like you–ones who aren’t are far and few between if not non-existent since the advent of porn and extreme sexual liberation, not to mention the internet.

      Hope you can bother yourself to read up on real anatomy, not internet posts and shallow girl/guy talk from those who don’t know shit about it, because actually a little “meat” (not what I have, different boat all together) makes the vagina feel better to a “small” man…and when you say “5 inches”…omg that is just soooo frickin tiny. Seriously, look up stats from the 1930’s up and you’ll see that particular legnth’s nothing to cry about.

      Sounds to me your issue is girth and again your claim that “pretty” meat-curtainless 7-year-old looking vaginas are your thing (…I love….you said) and so I’m calling BS on that crapola b/c when the inner labia is spread wide apart, penetration is much “slicker” and feels looser to the woman AND man.

      Your post is over a year old, and I’m *almost* certain you won’t be reading this; however, for others like you who see your ignorant, resentful, misguided, frustrated, and downright saddening post can also see my rebuttal and if the reader has any desire to seek truth and re-examine their sexual insecurities and issues, it *could* be helpful.

      If nothing else, my reply could (deserving-ly) incite further rage into the pig headed misogynists who insist all women are alike and that the attainabliity of meaningful relationships with the opposite sex with “less than the norm” equipment is a phallacy (pun definitely intended.)


    2. It is because it’s trendy to level insults at the male penis. Its rather popular making fun of the size or sexual performance of men!

      Also, you may have just stumbled upon this notion, but women are allowed to express a sexual preference. Thats called Grrrl Power!!

      Men however, are not allowed to express any sexual preference as this renders you a shallow and superficial person. You must accept women as they are lest it upsets their sensibilities.

      Hence the ‘feel good’ article above and subsequent White Knighting in the comments section.

  29. I have just been reading this page with my partner and he was amazed at the comments about protruding labia. By the way, we both get really annoyed that people keep saying vagina when they mean vulva. The vagina is the hole in your vulva which is the name for both sets of lips, the clitoris and hood etc. For goodness sake try to get it right or don’t go on these forums.

    Anyway, I have protruding inner labia, not by much, but they are always visible out of my outer labia. When Peter gives me oral they feel absolutely wonderful as his tongue runs all the way from my vagina, up my entire lips and over my clitoris. The inner lips are packed with feeling and I love them being touched.

    However, Peter says that he also loves looking at ‘neat’ vulvas in porn – which we sometimes read together.

    Anyway, if you love someone it really doesn’t matter. Peter’s penis is not huge, but it feels lovely to me and I know that when it is inside me he is experiencing the best feeling in the world … well apart from when I give him fellatio.

    If you want to better understand how vulva’s work and respond to caressing and oral then Andrew Macbeth and Jane Tothree have a great book out on how to give and receive oral sex orgasms – search if you want to find it. It is great fun to try out and I love the attention it brings to my vulva.

    Sorry to be so long winded.

    1. If you’re being serious, I’d be surprised with that attitude you have a girl. If you do, just turn her over and cornhole. Better yet, with that attitude, if you’re not gay already go for it and get all the butthole-looking backpussy you want. Don’t be selfish, though; remember to always do the reach around.

  30. My husband loves my vagina ! He loves my big inner lips ! I am very happy he was not circumcised ! You people that need boob jobs and have your vagina lips cut off are nuts !So sad , try to enjoy your bodies as they were made and not as some idiot in porn star world thinks you should look.

  31. Calm down ladies. you’re starting to to sound like us guys worried about penis size. REAL women love the man attached to the penis. I personally LOVE that my wife’s vulva looks nothing like an immature little girls vulva. Would you want your MAN to look like a little boy?

  32. This article is so poorly written.
    Defending one vagina type and putting down another.
    smh. stupidity at its finest

  33. I get insecure when I’m about to have sex because in my inner flaps of my vagina lips I have alittle hair that I can’t get rid of even when I try to shave , I don’t know if my boyfriend would mind me having hair there , he wants to give me oral pleasure but I’m scared ! somebody please give me advice

  34. Becca you have good reason to be insecure. You sound 20 something, my guess is early 20s. If you hang with young immature guys, then yes your fears are very valid. Especially if you are a teenager.

    So my advice is to find a mature guy, and let your hair down. The older the better, he will not have these kinds of immature hangups about your body. Even if you are in your mid teens, but you want to avoid this heartache, really find a 30s guy, or better yet 40 and above. You will be better off for it.

    1. Anyone who happens upon this weirdo’s post…all three of my relationships, (which the first one started at age 19…and virginity was TAKEN, LOST, and WASTED btw) were with guys that were from ages 38-41.

      I’m married to the one who was 38…for ten years now. Terrible, immature, rash mistake on my part that has ruined my life and from you, terrible advice and horrible of you to give it to someone you believe to be very young. Freak.

      Huge age differences…I still don’t even know where to truly start nor should i waste anymore time on this blog post. But bottom line, besides having no understanding or interest/appreciation of each other’s generation, tastes, nostalgia, etc….a guy that goes for a much younger woman is almost always either a pervert or insecure about getting older.

      Oh, and what’s more…they’ve had much, much more experience than a younger woman and have seen much much more porn as well that young guys as well as had the chance to see and fuck, in person, “normal/pretty” NATURAL vaginas and will compare the much younger girl sexually, mentally, and emotionally to all his past loves/hookups/etc from his being around the block.

      I’d put money on you mentally being a perve irl.

  35. I am really insecure about my vagina. I have about 3 cm of the inner labia hanging out of my outer labia. I thought I had something wrong with me. This site really cleared things up. I will forever be scared of what guys will think of me when I am naked. I have had sex with this guy but we did it with the lights off. He said it was amazing, but it was both our first times so I dont know. Well thanks.

  36. Vaginas are hot as f. No matter what. You really think I would stop having sex with someone because of their vaginas ‘appearance.’ Hellllll no.

  37. Oh come on ladies work on you self esteem. I am male and I have oral sex as part of foreplay. At that point in a relationship I think functionality far outweighs attractiveness.
    The function of the reproductive organs are for limited guidance and effective reproduction. Animals manage to reproduce, some by brute force and ignorance and others by courtship. No matter what side of the equation your on, attractiveness is in the eyes of someone who lost sight of functionality. Do I have an ugly penis, maybe to some people and not to others. It’s not a beauty contest its love in some cases and sex in others. Should you be making comparisons between other people’s hardware and your own, no way. Remember everyone is different and it’s nature’s way of giving personality.
    Be happy with it.

  38. Oh yes, they are ugly. Yuk. Why bother having sex. If you look at both sexes objectively….they are both ugly. Why we have this deep rooted desire is beyond me. But no, I will never have sex. Ever. It looks so disgusting.

  39. Genitals, bodies, nationalities, cultures, religions, beliefs, challenges, mindsets aren’t “neat” or “ugly,” just different from what you are use to having….

    EVERYONE (including the creators of this article should be nothing more than ashamed of there “opinions” (like asses, everone and thing has them) True, people are unique and different and why would you ever want “boring” and the same ALL the time, who cares how anything looks as long as it works for you and the other what does it matter. There are no labels! There are only people here insecure about themselves in the most asinine way. You all lack to see the importantance of what really matters be happy it’s a human at all and you are not getting with some beast demonic entity or monster by force!

    ALL I’M SAYING IS… No matter what everyone needs to be loved regardless…. Different (no matter what you are you’re human right) in the long run works and you all must admit we all are just that, if you are sticking to your guns on preference don’t comment and if you are the type that likes trying something different every now and again HELL go all out and share you fun and amazine experiences! There is no shame and being human and how you develope at all, keep it healthy as much as you can and remember safety first.

    Life should be to LIVE not to judge, and if you ask me, BEING JUDGEMENTAL allows no room to have fun and explore and hence to LOVE and to LIVE!!!!!

    To all who judge at all wether it be themselves or anything/one else…. hey remember the ole saying “dont knock it, til you try it” it could be the best you ever had and you’ve been missing out… You never know until you really do (you know)…

    Besides, if the world we know may soon to be overtaken by government experimental zombies created to bring down earth’s population by a vast amounts… At least you can say you tried everything before you die!

    Change and different isn’t scary, just life at it’s BEST! Hey where would we be without it!

    The difference creates the change and the change makes it what it is…. All to the good!

    To those that think druel of any body part, that doesn’t look how society programmed you to think, I hope your the type that never craves for love or attention should (god forbid) you lose touch with health or limb… Because you might find yourself very alone. @ @

  40. There are very few attractive vaginas in porn especially those that look neat most do look worn out but thats because they do have sex a lot so i wouldnt compare an average woman vag to a porn stars vag

  41. I haven’t seen a real vulva, but in porn closeups they all look incredibly ugly and impractical. Erotic photos that don’t show the parts down below are generally better. I’d rather wish women had penises, which would also make their life easier… if many of them had them that is. I’m not sure how photo-edited the pictures of transgender women are, but they look much neater than the trimmed pussy.

  42. I stumbled across this while doing a search on ugly pussies. My whole sexual life I had never put any thought into what my vagina looked like until a group of my closest guy friends were scrutinizing a picture of a girls vag. They all commented on how disgusting it looked because of the coloration and labia size. They referred to her as “beat” and “roast beef”. I went home and pulled out a mirror and realized that my labia were larger, darker, and longer than the girls. I actually thought her vag was quite pretty! As if I wasn’t being stupid enough, I ended up dating one of these moron guys for four years. He refused to do oral sex on me. I hated my “ugly” vagina. Now that I am older I realize how stupid it is to feel that way. My husband thinks my crotch is awesome and can’t get enough of it! As for that guy I dated years ago… trying not to be cynical or poke fun, but one day it dawned on me. Yeah he thought it was ugly and wouldn’t go near it, but he also never lasted more than 10 seconds, so there must have been something good about it!

  43. i am pleased to see that its not only men who worry about their sex parts. i am 56 and have had multiple sex partners. some women had small labia minora, some larger. it made no difference to me. smell and taste were more important. all women are beautiful to me. i once had a woman tell me my penis was to small for her. yes, it hurt my feelings and made me feel less confident in bed for quite a while. but i got over it. to all you lovely ladies out there, you are beautiful just the way you are. but remember, if you judge men, then its only fair that men judge you. i have never judged a woman for the looks of her vulva. don’t even care if its trimmed or not. being clean is important for both genders. i love going down when she is clean. i love being able to please her orally. but i could care less about the looks of her labia.
    just my two cents worth.

  44. I want to say thank you because I’ve always felt this way about myself, that my lips were too large. They honestly aren’t that large! Not one person I’ve been with has thought so or disliked the way I look. I honestly don’t know where the idea came from. I’m in love with the greatest guy who adores me and my vagina, tells me how beautiful I am and it is everyday. I still can’t kick this surgery idea… I told him about my thoughts…. He said are you crazy you’re perfect! Id be devostated if i lost feeling down there. i have no issue with orgasms actuslly i can have quite a few during sex and oral sex! What the heck Is going on in my head that I still think there’s something wrong with me 🙁 I want so badly to just accept, be comfortable and love myself entirely. This website has been a great insight though. I’m going to keep trying to find positive information. Thank you ladies!

  45. I suppose my kitty would be considered an “ugly” vagina- but that’s besides the point. I came here to talk to all the girls with “neat” vaginas ( or so society thinks) you should stop posting comments about how you feel put down! This is NOT about you! Look at porn if you wanna feel good about yourself! all of them have well kept vaginas. this is for the women who don’t feel particularly well about that area and this is not your place to bitch about it.

    Sure sure, you feel like reason 5 was offending but, really!? Why?? She wasn’t offending anyone! The author never stated anything about a larger being BETTER all they said was that it gave more friction and face it that means more pleasure- but if you’ve never had an issue about how much pleasure you get, why are you complaining?!

  46. I came here after googling “why do I think vaginas are ugly”, and I am a woman. I KNOW they’re not ugly but honestly I become physically ill at the sight of most vaginas. I am bi curious and love everything about women except vagina.

    It’s strange. I don’t like it. And I don’t know why I feel this way. I’ve only recently started to like how my own vagina looks. I always thought it was ugly and now I am realizing that it isn’t ugly, but I still find most vaginas to be not appealing (to put it nicely).

  47. And for all the men who are wondering why women lump these few outspoken assholes into one group and think our vaginas are ugly… Well, men love vaginas- when we think ours is ugly or different, it makes us not want to show it off. Then we have people like Jack a few comments up who is TERRIBLY DEVASTATED that the love of his life doesn’t have a “neat little box”.. well Jack, that’s ridiculous. You’ve found the LOVE OF YOUR LIFE. Most people NEVER FIND THAT. So don’t be posting online that you don’t like her vagina. If she ever saw your post on here, I think she’d drop you in a heartbeat.

    So men and women who are offended by this article because you either have a “neat perfect pussy” or because you prefer that, THAT IS FINE. But stay off of this thread!!!!! We aren’t saying that your pussy isn’t amazing and beautiful! I’m sure it is!!!! These threads are out here to try to help the women who feel self conscious because they don’t have your “neat perfect vagina” … So consider yourself lucky that you don’t have this self conscious issue and google something else.

  48. Hi everyone! I’m a 23 year old female who has been feeling “ugly” for quite a while now! I never felt this way until I started dating my current boyfriend. We’ve been together for 2 years now and I know he thinks I am very sexy. BUT, he also doesn’t hide the fact that he enjoys porn (past partners have). So I started watching porn as well- sometimes with him but sometimes on my own. That’s when I started getting the idea that my vagina was “ugly”. It really, really made me sad. It made me not want to even be naked with him- and that’s our favorite thing to do! When we hang out at home or whatever, we’re very often naked. Some days I feel more self conscious than others but some days it’s so bad I will keep my clothes on and he doesn’t know why. I want to talk to him about how I feel but it’s embarrassing and painful. When I started watching porn and thought that my vagina wasn’t as “pretty” as others, I started remembering things from high school. Guys would say that some girls had “roast beef” vaginas or better yet, I remember a song that went something along the lines of.. “Do your lips hang low, do they wobble to and fro…” It’s really hard to feel sexy when these thoughts are attacking your brain as soon as your clothes come off. I’m really glad I have access to posts such as these and to know that I’m NORMAL and beautiful! It’s sad that women feel this way. I KNOW that I am an attractive 23 year old woman, but when my panties come off, all that goes out the window. Thank you everyone for the comments! We are all BEAUTIFUL- no matter what!!!!!!!!!!! And any man who thinks differently doesn’t deserve any of us!

  49. I LOVE my wife’s labia. They are big enough to slightly protrude when she’s unstimulated. When she’s aroused, her inner labia swell and spread even further over her external labia. I will admit to being a cunnilingus addict, so I doubt there would be any natural woman that I’d have problems with by sight (smell and taste??). OTOH the thought of having those sensitive bits sliced off, unless they were truly interfering with their owner’s motions, etc., just seems barbaric. I suspect that being old enough that I wasn’t exposed to the vast quantity of porn that exists online before I was exposed to real live girls and women helps shape my attitudes. I find it shocking that any horndog would be willing to criticize a woman that was willingly sharing her lower lips with him.

  50. I can personally vouch that longer inner labia are more sensitive. Like Candi, i have one long and one short lip. The long one is extremely sensitive and is my “go to” spot. I often can’t orgasm unless that lip is stimulated. When i was about 20 i dated a guy who when angry would make rude commentsabout my “oversized lip”. I refused to let that bother me. Of the dozen or so men I’ve been intimate with, he was the only one who ever said a word. They knew they were lucky to be with me! I can also vouch that large lips have nothing to do with how much sex you’ve had. Mine was that way long before i lost my virginity.

  51. I’m so glad to find this site but I’m still a bit insecure when it comes to my vulva. Reading through all these comments about long and short inner labia make me feel even more of a freak because one side of my inner labia is short and pink while the other is long and dark. It’s so uneven. Thank goodness I married a man who loves me for me (stretch marks and all) though we still make love with the lights out per my request.

  52. Bahaha! Most men don’t care what it looks like, as long as it don’t smell & taste good!

    I got a fat cat n I hate it, but men love it. There is always going be something we don’t like about ourselves 🙂

  53. It’s a shame (and a sham) that we live in a world where you ladies always take the few outspoken males, who talk about sex like a middle school kid, and lump all men into that category. I know a few assholes like the one mentioned in your article, but that makes up maybe .01 percent of the entire male population. The guys who many women might find as pleasing, respectful companions don’t blab about such ridiculous nonsense. Unfortunately, human nature doesn’t favor nice guys. To be a nice guy is considered by many women to be a doormat, and for some reason women don’t take earnest, sensitive men seriously until they’ve dated every asshole on the planet. even then many don’t get any wiser. If you wanna change the world, then do it. No one is stopping you. the only reason men have been in charge for so long of history is that most women are happy not challenging the status quo, and settle for a role in the background complaining. Everyone’s life is difficult, with the exception of a few, and it’s childish to say things like “men have it so easy”. We don’t. We are constantly blamed for things like not listening by a woman who doesn’t know how to listen. I have been fortunate to have met a diamond in the rough who doesn’t infer with bullshit. She actually knows how to communicate.

  54. That was a great article for confidence boosting, I am of the “ugly” variety, though bald as a coot lol, can’t bear the idea of hair!
    I have to say that I agree with some previous posts that comment 5 is really harsh, girls all talk to their friends about this stuff and none of my “neat” amigos have any issues with sex.
    What does make a difference however is confidence, if you love yourself and are happy with your partner sex is always fantastic. This is why I am planning to get surgery on my labia. I prefer the “neat” look and feel uncomfortable receiving oral from my partner, he is indifferent to what I look like down there but I want to enjoy every aspect of our sex life to the full.
    Everyone should be able to love and appreciate themselves and be empowered to make changes if this is not the case.

  55. i am 20 years old, and have the “longer labia” and thank god i came to this website and and a few more. I just got into a relationship with my best friend, we have known eachother for almost 6 years and we are currently in 2 separate states. Im going to see him soon and I was worried because in the past he’s talked about vaginas and how he hates the “roast beef look.” we Skype sometimes and he wants to see my body almost all the time and i won’t go anywhere past my underwear. It’s really hard to try to be or talk sexual to him when im not feeling too good about myself. i didn’t think it was a problem and hope it wont become one for him. it would suck losing a relationship and friend over something so stupid.

  56. I hope there are a lot of women out there that read this through this thread. .
    I was very insecure about my LLS(LongLabiaSexiness<-Clever hey? Haha) most of my youth.
    When I met my husband a few years ago, I decided to face my fears and google "what men really thought" about a vagina like mine. Stumbled on a website that contained comments, discussions and explicit(but classy) pictures involving longer labias and was astonished by how much sexier I felt!!
    Just like a man saying he'd prefer a "neat" tidy little area. It is all preference.
    What I think is interesting is where that preference stems from?
    I think my sense of LLS(lol) was heightened immensely by educating myself on the internet.
    I think Men who enjoy pornographic material have obviously become accustomed to seeing this so called neat pkg.
    Do you think the opinions of men and women would be different if mainstream porn contained all types?
    And I don't believe this would have been a topic 50 years ago.
    So obviously media influence does play a good and not so good role in our "opinions."
    It can create expectations that a man does not understand, but can also show women like myself that their goods are just as tantalizing 😉
    Now everyone get off this forum and go enjoy the big OR small beautiful labias in your lives!
    -sry for the rant. My first time commenting on a forum 😉

  57. im a guy,aged 26,im in my 4th of studying medicine, i have been with a reasonable number of women, all i have to say is: I LOVE VAGINAS, they ALL look so tasty.

  58. This whole thread is ridiculous. Why would anyone fuss so much over one inner labia that may be a few MILLIMETERS longer than some other one? It’s so minuscule. I am a female and I don’t even want to say if I am “neat” or “ugly” because just using those labels make me disappointed in society. We are ALL neat.

    Listen. Some balls are big, some are small, some are hairy, some are smooth, some are white, pink, brown, yellow, some hang to the right, to the left… Some penises are long, some short, some thin, others thick, some straight, curved, smooth, rigid, cut, uncut… Some vaginas are bald, others hairy, some are more plump others are small, LIPS; inner and outer come in ONE general shape that may vary my a few millimeters. There is nothing in this paragraph that should be considered “ugly”

    In the end, it’s just a ball sack, just a penis, and just a vagina. If you’re going to be concerned about anything, be concerned that your bits are healthy, clean and working the way they should.

  59. I have a closed in “neat” vagina…. to be honest until I watched the doco on Vagina’s I had no idea there was any other kind. I also read that it’s not normal to have small labia if your a grown womean – well I have plenty of sex and it’s never changed. Don’t put down women with “neat” ones though just becuase so many other women have bigger labias. Who really cares though??? Everyone wishes they could change something about themselves. Just focus on what assets you do have.

  60. I am so glad that I found this thread. For many years I was in a relationship where the jackass used to say that my female genitalia looked the way it did from having a lot of sex with numerous guys. Prior to him I had only been with 3 men so I was a little confused but I let myself believe that if I maybe would have had sex with only one i would still have the “perfect” look. When we would fight he would say nasty things about how he didn’t believe i was a good girl and that he thought I was a whore because of the way I looked down there. After hearing it for so long it took a long time for me to finally look down and think to myself “its pretty”. If you love yourself, you will find confidence and beauty in everyone of your physical attributes. NO ONE has a “perfect” down there. no man or woman, but then again who’s to say what perfect is? Go ahead and Google “pretty pussy” the image results you get will surprise you it is the widest range of different looking genitalia you will see in your life. The funny and interesting part is after all those years of him tearing me down with insecurities, I think he was trying to make up for what his ego told him he was missing. My genitalia actually looks like what that awful “institute” claims “pretty” or “normal” is, its kinda frustrating after so many years of believing it was ugly…even if it was ugly i’d still love it because I now Strongly love myself and everything about me. So again who is or can really be the judge of what “perfect” is? NO ONE!!! I hope my story helps someone. And I wanna say thank you for this article, I hope someone out there who is currently going though the same thing I did years ago gets a chance to read this and see a woman’s body no matter what is pure beauty…just love yourself first!!!

  61. Sigh.. I hate to say it but its kind of a big deal ladies.. And I say that with the utmost respect.

    I’m currently dating the love of my life, and I was so terribly devastated to discover that she doesn’t have a neat little box. As this article points out, it’s not the end of the world, and I like her so much that I’ll do what it takes to get past it, but it’s SUCH a turn off for me. I know it has nothing to do with past lovers, but it def gives the impression of an old worn out pussy that’s been around the block a few dozen times… Not exactly what a guy wants to be thinking about while having sex. I’d say it’s comprable to a girl dating a guy with a 3.5 inch wee wee. Can she get past it? I’m sure she could convince herself to look beyond it… But ultimately she’d prob end up craving something more.

    Sorry to be pessimistic. Just thought I’d share a mans pov here. I’m sorry to hear that surgery isn’t a viable option..

  62. Personally I like the look of a “neat” vulva, I actually prefer the look better over “ugly” ones. My girlfriend has an “ugly” vulva but it doesnt stop me from enjoying it or loving it! Just the same as I prefer curly haired brunettes(which is what my girlfriend is) over blondes. Do I think blondes are unnatractive? Hell no! Women are beautiful in all colors, shapes and sized.

  63. Ridiculous!!! My fiancé has a “neat” vagina, and I find myself fantasizing about the so called “ugly” vaginas more often than not.. I miss that and wish she had one….. More to play with! =)

  64. Love the article. My ex used to tell me how much he loved my inner lips, which are longer than the outter. I’ve always been self conscious so I appreciate reading things like this.
    I’m curious why there are links to what appear to be the same type of trashy web sites that would criticize this larger inner lips just above the comments.

  65. Kristina- just because bitches have been rude to you doesn’t mean you need to stoop to their level and call anybody’s anything “nasty shit”. Sounds like you’re the one that’s insecure.

    I think women should be proud of what they’ve got no matter what it is. And I also feel nobody should ever go under the knife unless it’s absolutely necessary.

  66. I found this site by Googling ‘ugly pussies’. I have been watching porn for the last few months and was curious of the high percentage of women with IMO, hideous hanging vulvas. As a Lesbian I have seen many vaginas and have never came across anyone whose inner lips could be seen without ‘spreading’. I automatically thought they(porn stars) were simply ‘overused’. This article has opened my eyes, I didn’t know women where born with ‘extra skin’. It does make perfect sense, women have various body types…so EVERYTHING would be included in the mix. Great article:)

  67. I only brought the weigh issue in, Lucy, as an example of how people need to turn the tables of judgement in order to feel good about their own bodies. I know weight is an entirely separate subject. I was just hurt by the way they implied that my small neat vulva somehow makes sex less pleasurable for me than someone with long inner lips. That’s all. I believe we can help people feel good about their bodies without making others feel BAD about theirs!

  68. I’m a bit shocked at some of the responses from women in this thread… bringing weight into the vagina-shape discussion? Weight has nothing to do with the shape of your vagina. I think it’s great that you’re in-shape and happy with your body… there’s no need to slam anyone here at all. Just because you “take care of yourself” does not mean you will not have a symetrical vagina.


    As other people have said, if you love someone, you love their bits… massive or tiny… there is nothing wrong with liking a “neat” vagina, and nothing wrong with liking an asymetrical vagina.

    The same goes for male genitalia. There’s no point in me talking about my personal examples of this as I’m just one person, for reference sakes though I don’t care what shape a man’s penis is. However, out of the 100’s of women that I have known and discussed sex with, I know only two women who have admitted to only liking a certain shape of penis, and neither of those women would call it a deal-breaker, either.

    I think the only “normal” preference to have regarding genitalia is that we don’t want our partners bits to look like a childs genitalia. This is not to say that I totally agree with the opinion that women (or men) should NOT shave because of this. You can still shave without looking like a child.

    If genitalia is a deal-breaker for you then it is my opinion that you’re pretty shallow… but what shallow person cares that they are shallow? However just the nature of a lack-of-depth means that you are already hightening your chances of unhappiness and dissatisfaction.

    Already my comment is too long, I could go on about this forever. I just don’t like how we got to this place in society at all. As Chris said earlier “porn has probably screwed up our whole generation.”

  69. Maruato, I also completely agree with everything you said. Don’t feel bad about your dainty slit! Small inner labia are not some sort of sexual punishment; my “neat” pussy has certainly never denied me pleasure or orgasms.

  70. @maruato
    Totally agree!!! I am thin, work hard to stay in shape, and have “compact non visible” inner labia. I have women treat me unkindly out of their insecurities, say anorexia comments. Those are not ribs, they are abdominal muscles – serratus or intercoastals. I am completely shaved…..have yet to meet a man who hates that look. It feels better, and who wants to perform oral sex with all that nasty shit in your face. I love giving head & pleasing – but only when man is closely trimmed or shaved. I gag otherwise…..yuck. Manscape already! Maybe you’re right that there are more nerve endings in large inner labia. I believe the best sex & orgasms come from feeling confident about your body. So……for the other side, with shaved, tidy, compact pussy, we also look amazing!!!!!

  71. Okay, I was with you until reason #5. Then I got pissed. You are saying now that large inner labia is BETTER? Are you saying my small inner labia is making me less orgasmic, and I am not experiencing the same pleasure as these women with “ugly” vulvas? Now you just made me feel bad about my “neat, perfect vagina.” I will never understand why we cant make the self-conscious feel good about themselves without putting down the other side of the spectrum! Its just like how overweight women cant embrace and love their bodies without first telling skinny women (like me) that we aren’t what men want and that no one finds us sexy and that we are anorexic bags of bones a gross. Why couldn’t you just say BOTH are good. Your statement about large inner labia making sex better is bollocks and downright hurtful. Shame on you. I didn’t even read the last five reasons.

  72. Pierre, totally agree with you!
    I too prefer woman who is natural, hate the shaved off..just love them for being themselves! Woman are to be loved, there is no such thing as ugly Vagina..love how it “blossoms” with the right kisses.. :p

  73. I am a bloke and have recently only just encountered these discussions, I feel really bad if I have ever added to the stereotype of neater is better. I agree porn has probably screwed up our whole generation.

    However isn’t it wierd to say all vulvas HAVE to be considered beautiful as certaintly society doesn’t say or think all penises are perfect!
    Unfortunatly society will always want to push some stereotype or other, maybe better sex ed is needed!!

    I think it all comes down to the person, if you love someone, you’re normally into what they look like. No one should ever make you feel bad for what you look like!

  74. @ Justin, thanks for commenting! We really do play the insecurity game and I’m always having to reassure my partner about whether he is ‘big enough, wide enough, shaped normally, curved wrong, long enough, hard enough, good enough’. Porn does not make sex education. All penises, all vulvas, all breasts, all bums are perfect and gorgeous as they are- naturally!

  75. It’s a personal preference that’s all and anyone is entitled to like what they like. If someone finds one look more appealing than another then than live and let live. I wouldn’t critize a man who is attracted to tall, blondes with huge boobs but I know that I wouldn’t never be his girlfriend. No offense taken he likes what he likes and he’s entitled to it that doesn’t make me hate my height and if I allowed personal preferences change how I see myself then I’m the one that needs help.

  76. I must say at first I was a little taken back by my girlfriends Vulvas because from my experience from past girls and yes watching porn I had not seen one like that. Its funny at first I also wondered how it got like that and I thought jeez probably a lot of sex, or her ex must have been huge! But I loved her and she was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen so it did not matter to me one way or the other. I did always wonder though until I fell upon this thread. I am glad now I am more educated!

  77. Vulvas, just like breasts, just look their best when they are NATURAL.

    I really hate the tendency nowadays for the shaved look and the trimmed pussy lips, there’s nothing left! I agree with the authors: who wants a vulva that looks like a 7-year-old’s?

    Bring back the 70s when women were natural, confident, and not put under so much stress about what is supposedly “normal”.

    I for one put in one more guy’s vote for just loving women for being women! And for enjoying sex with a woman because I love her AS A PERSON and therefore find her attractive, not because her anatomy matches a blueprint of what is supposedly perfect.

  78. There is nothing to feel self conscious about. I found that women that have large “lips” enjoy oral sex much more and have more and easier orgasms. If a guy has the chance to become your lover, he is thanking his lucky stars to just get a near you. Enjoy your condition, many guys would love to enjoy it as well.

  79. Well if women are going to say men need circumcision to improve the appearance of their penis, then I think its only fitting you ladies do the same.

    No seriously why cant we all just love what is there naturally ?

  80. Nick, you are soo right! Ha ha! Ladies, most guys that are talking about ugly vaginas don’t get to see a lot of vaginas up close. Johnny’s point was also right on!

  81. I just want to say that I feel for women worrying about their vaginas. I for one don’t really care much about how it looks. I would like to say that this though, is not a case of sexism. I have had women and society making me feel bad about my penis for years. I’ve also had women talk for hours about terrible sex with men in front of me further making me feel really worried. This is something both sexes do in order to escape insecurity about their sexuality. Its a little game we all like to play. After years of staring at my penis to make sure its ok, I realized that it is fine. Just like your vagina is fine. When it comes down to it, that guy doesn’t care. He is just saying that to give himself the upper hand in the insecurity game. Don’t let it work.

  82. Haha omg, this is great. I smiled the entire time while reading this. I honestly can’t ever imagine any vagina being ugly.. But I know a lot of guys can and mine would be included in that. Thank you for this beautiful article.

  83. Who are these CRAZIES? Who gives a FUCK if the person you are with doesn’t have a vag like your favorite porn star? Newsflash – THEY’RE DIFFERENT PEOPLE.

    Vaginas come in many varieties, just like penises. This is such a non-issue.

    I never understood why vaginas were considered to be like flowers because well, I look at mine standing up in the mirror and it basically looks like this W, right ladies?

    To the lady with twins whose husband calls here names – dump the mother trucker immediately. You don’t need a minute of that – you bore & birthed 2 children! That were his too! What a pig from hell.

    Congrats on your feat of carrying and birthing 2 babies!

  84. First off; many women with long inner lips find the sensation of penetration painful as it drags the lips into the vagina and it feels super painful. So don’t judge anyone for getting labiaplasty. I get most of the response however

    I have one issue with this; I rarely see ‘neat’ vag in porn. Loose looking lips aren’t appealing to me either and I’m a straight woman. I am often looking for porn and I’m always seeing those crudely labelled ‘roast beef’ types. Humans are chemically driven to like symmetry. Obviously their are exceptions. I don’t have to love everything about the opposite sex, I’m not a fan of bent dicks or hairy men, and it’s not because of porn. I developed preferences on my own. Some men like neat and don’t want hair in their mouths during oral (same for girls!) some men like the lips because they’re fun to tease and play with. Requiring or expecting people to think parts of should be attractive to them isn’t a healthy expectation.

  85. I love my vagina. Libia sticking out and dark colour. The darker the berry, the sweeter the juice lol. When I was younger I hated the way it looked. 22 years old now and I don’t care. If he says it smells and tastes good then thats good enough for me. Us ladies always seem to find something wrong with ourselves physically all the time even if we are told that we are beautiful… The sooner you accept your body, the happier you will be…

  86. This issue is mostly New World Order control over womens bodies and minds. Making us obsess about non-issues instead of real things like: They think rape is mostly justifiable, abortions are never permissible, daycare should be paid by you, not the state, women earn less, pay more for healthcare and dry cleaners, there is a pervasive paedophilic sexualization of pre-teens and teens and on and on.
    Having a pussy that looks like a pornstar is not a priority.
    That said, I do condone surgery if the labia are interfering with whatever they could be interfering with but not your ego.

  87. I understand having preferences but not prejudices. No cock or pussy is ugly. Ever.
    Be happy with the cock/pussy you have.
    Take pleasure in it and the parts of the one you are with. A good and loving attitude towards each others genitals and your own will reward you a million times over!

  88. Wow.
    I don’t give a fuck what a man thinks about how my pussy looks.
    I care that he likes the smell, taste and feel of it. That is the important part.
    My pussy is crazy orgasmic, smells good and lo-ves sex. And that is good enough. In fact better than good enough!
    Cocks and balls look ridiculous. Seriously. All of our bits are weird!
    My labia minora are big. All I can say about what I have experienced sexually is that it seems to offer more texture and sensation than not having them be prominent.
    I have a brazilian wax not because I think it looks good. In fact I think bald and semi bald pussies look a little embarassing but for me it feels better for sex.

  89. I came to this site because my new lover has a definite phobia regarding her vulva. She thinks it’s ugly, but she’s apparently never really looked at herself or explored. I think she’s gorgeous, but she refers to her vulva as “down there”, and if I make love to her orally, I have to go brush my teeth before she’ll kiss me again. She denies sexual abuse, and claims not to know the source of her dislike of her anatomy. She also doesn’t enjoy extended foreplay or touching of her genitals. She wants an orgasm fast, and then can’t bear to be touched for a while because of the sensitivity. I’m 57, and have known many women. I love all vulva’s, the look, smell and taste. I’ve never met anyone like my current lady though, and it doesn’t affect my love for her, but I would like to be able to understand her better, and I feel like she’s missing out on a lot of pleasure. Any ideas ladies?

  90. I am 20 years old and i have not had sex due to the fact i thought my vagina was “ugly”. i couldnt bare the thought of someone else seeing it when i couldnt even look at it myself! I am not completely over this but your article has helped a lot thank you!

  91. I’m also one of so many self concious women about our anatomy. I’m 42 and my vulva is a lil wrinkly and a lil loose, I don’t like it 🙁 . I have a boyfriend, he is doing time right now, but he will be out next year, and my biggest fear is that when we start our sexual relationship and he sees my vulva he will get grossed out or something. It’s probably all in my head, but i’m just scared of that.

  92. Oh man.. you know whats funny? I totally hate how my vagina looks.. like seriously its gross to me, call it what you like, say I’m in denial w/e I still thinks its gross and personally, I’d like to know if there ARE ways to lighten up the color, just because I personally don’t like the way it looks. My fiance? He could care less about what it looks like, if I shave or not, but I do..

    So meh, maybe its not all just guys x) I’m probably just as bad lol

    But yeah, I guess I can understand but then again its kinda the same as us chicks looking at a guy whos circumcised and being grossed out or thinking that ugly. (personally, my fiance is “uncut” hehe looove it! -w-) So I guess it’s just how you feel, if you like it you do, if you don’t well thats just how it is.

    I mean, come on, how many of us have certain standards, like “I won’t date someone whos obese”, or “I won’t date a guy with a small ****” We all do it, even in small ways, so is it really fair to critisize guys or chicks who have preferences for “porn vaginas” or “uncut penises”?

  93. I bet a good number of women who are so self-conscious about their “ugly” genitals have laughed an “uncircumcised penises are so gross or funny looking” type joke, the kind of which are popular in movies and TV shows.

    How many women with “ugly” vaginas have had their sons circumcised because it “looks better” or “I don’t want him to feel different in the locker room”

    Your genitals are your genitals. Accept them for how they are. Just make sure that you’re holding yourself to that own standard when it comes to others and call out your friends who point out “ugly” penises and such.

  94. Hello Julie. I feel so sad for you but don’t be discourage hon. I know your spirit is crushed but once you find the strength to leave this price of trash (who obviously thinks woman value based on their labias/ vagina.
    Let me tell you a story.
    When I was younger I felt that I was rather attractive because I have many many boys chasing me everywhere I went. So anyways I ended up with someone who really liked me at first. I got pregnant after a year. He was incredibly verbally abusive starting at this point. Calling me “elephant” didn’t want to be seen with me. After the baby he would insult me and say I was not attractive to him anymore. I felt really bad inside but I still knew I was a good person.
    Anyways, I became self conscious especially after a baby your body really changes. I felt that maybe no one would find me satisfying to their liking until I met my husband. He was always so turned on by me and we would do it 2-3 times a day. He would complement me on my body all the time. At first I didn’t believe him and thought he was just a horny guy. Then after several years (we always talked freely about our sexual desire) he confided that I had the perfect labia/ pubis. He described it as a little mound. He liked the fact that my area down there was somewhat puffy. This got me curios.
    So I looked in the mirror one day at my labia and need I remind you I was not impressed. I have seen it many times before and was rather put off myself about it. Just because I have seen many porn movies and it wasn’t as nice as what I saw in the movies. Anywho, whatever my opinion is and my ex’s opinion that nearly crushed me. It ses I have found the right man that loves my “style” we are married 12 years and he loves it still after 2 kids. He asked to see it everytime we do it and he can do it twice a night if I let him because he says it turns him on so much. Occasionally when we see a nice plump puffy labia on porn he would say “that’s what yours looks like” which I feel O hardly come closed but beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Besides maybe I am not seeing it fully from his angle.
    So don’t be discourage. Sounds like your husband is over anal about what your’s should look like and that’s not much you could do about it but however there will be a man out there who is looking for a labia/vagina just like yours. You just have to find him. Good Luck. You deserve better, especially since your “ugly” vagina has earn the respect of giving him twins. A better would worship it!

  95. The short version – whether or not a woman has large (or small, or medium, or whatever) labia is perfectly fine with me. I can’t recall ever seeing a vulva where I thought anything negative about how it looked visually unless something was medically wrong (I am a health provider, and have seen literally hundreds of vulvas), such as a Bartholin’s Cyst or an active, overt infection. When I first heard of the concept of an “ugly vulva” (in my 30’s), I was frankly shocked as I had never heard of nor even considered the concept.

    So, for anyone out there who thinks that their vulva is unattractive and would interfere with a relationship, there are definitely guys out there who 1) believe that your vulva looks perfectly fine, and 2) care much more about who you are as a friend/lover/potential mate. ’nuff said.

  96. Hey in adding comments to jonnhy’s situation me also abused by my boyfriend that i have an ugly vagina,more then an year we were dating…though he used tosay he loved me.He used to say my love, i am mad of on the other hand heabused me remarkabley torturing comments which he didn’t realized how i was puzzled.From first dating he commented about my body figures and vagina .Frrom very first i shocked withguilty feelings .Finnally i decided to breakup as it destroyed my feelings though mostly men easly attracted to me.After this breakup iwonder if i would be able to carry on thinking of a gay.

  97. What in the fuck? The only person that I have ever heard refer to a vagina as ‘ugly’ is you, so get off your pedestal of man bashing and stop generalizing men from the sample of 14 year old boys and porn addicts. Sure, we use terms like ‘roast beef’ and ‘cheeseburger’, but these words aren’t used negatively, they simply are funny ways of describing what specific types of vaginas look like. You would be lying if you say women don’t give funny names describing man’s penis. The truth of the matter is that pretty much every guy doesn’t give a flying fuck about what the vagina looks like, and as far as I can see women seem to care far more about the way a cock looks. You are right about one thing though; the myth about the cheeseburger being the result of fucking too much. Once guys pass their teen years, we figure out that it isn’t really related. (especially since, generally, people in active relationships have sex more frequently than those that are not, albeit with the same person, hopefully. Yet the vagina stays the same.

  98. This is why I hate porn. It has severely distorted people’s perceptions of what is normal and driving people to mutilate their freaking genitals for crying out loud. Cutting your labia is a bad idea, this can cause infection, since part of its purpose is to protect it from bacteria. Some women are dark down there and that is perfectly normal! I know girls as young as 13 who are very stressed about if their vagina is “normal” and attractive and even considering surgery. They feel completely ugly unless they looked like a drugged up porn star with fake tits and perfectly pink vagina. It has also caused men to feel if they don’t have a 12 inch dick they are small. The average global penis size is about a 5! No knife should go down there for anything other then real medical emergencies! (I am also against circumcision before anyone calls me a hypocrite.)

  99. LISTEN LISTEN LISTEN!!!! There are woman in porn with inner lips protruding and guess what? MANY MANY MEN LOOOOOVE THIS. THEY PREFER THIS. WE SEARCH FOR THIS. The perfect pussy in our minds IS THIS TYPE. Do not be discouraged or opt for surgery!! No fucking way. The fatter, the more lips, the more there is to suck on and it is amazing watching our penises plunge into this beautiful mound of flowering flesh. TRUST ME.

  100. Here’s the thing women. A perfect vagina is always celebrated and coveted. It can actually make a man more successful or more faithful. Believe me, it’s true. If a woman is not desirable sexually, the male will not strive to keep her.

    Now. That being said. Here’s the good part for you. Yes, natural selection will weed out all of us who aren’t the ideal. But, sometimes something different is fun. It’s taboo or exotic. And this alone can make a guy extremely attracted to it. You just have to learn how to flaunt what you have. If you have long lips, figure out a way to market them. Just like black women who have to work with big butts as a marketable asset. The only thing that doesn’t for sure turn men on, is a smelly vagina/anus. If you want a pleasant tasting and smelling vagina, you need to keep away from red meat, which women should not be eating anyway because it’s protein and hormones which builds larger muscles and causes things to get fattier and less tone. Try to limit the greasy, fatty, meat laden foods, and eat fruits and vegetables. Especially fruits. And NEVER use pads, use only tampons, and keep that thing reasonably trimmed, hair collects sweat and smell. Moisture allows sliding, so if you are a big girl, I suggest loosing weight and keeping dry. When you come home from work, change your panties, I’ve never known a woman who smelled bad that changed her panties twice in a day, and make sure you are wearing cotton or some other absorbent panty, and use an almost undetectable amount of baby powder on your butt crack and between your inner thigh and crotch, this will prevent further chaffing and absorbs moisture.

  101. After reading this article I feel way better about the way my pussy looks. I thought that because my pussy didn’t look the same as all the porn girls, that it was abnormal and ugly. I feel better now knowing i’m not the only one with longer lips than usual 🙂

  102. I just happen to be from the opposing camp. The bigger the clit and the bigger the inner lips, the better! I like a mouthful when I go down to “play”. I could spend 30 minutes “nursing” at the Y. What I have found is that girls lacking a protruding clit and/or lips lose out on climax opportunities that their “larger” counterparts get. Enjoy what you have! It just takes finding the right man to comets the puzzle. We are out here. Don’t give up!

  103. after reading this it helped a bunch becuase i feel embarresed about the way i look down theyre. i shave and stay as clean as possible, i mean what girl wouldnt? im 17 and i dont want to make myself so upest about it but its hard not to get upset when you hear about guys saying some vag’s are pretty and some are not. but this reasures me that its beautiful no matter what it looks like.

  104. You women think that men are sexist based upon on our personal feelings and preferences in pussies. We’re allowed to have whatever opinion we like. There’s nothing wrong with a man wanting a pussy that actually looks appealing. And that doesn’t mean that a man who uses words like vaginas instead of vulva is a sexist pig. It’s unrelated. And nobody says shit like that anyway because it’s not how normal people talk, just like how people don’t use “thy” and “thou” anymore. Get with the program. If a woman got pissed at me for saying vagina instead of vulva, I’d get pissed if she called my penis a cock or dick. Think about that. Would you really want to call it that instead of a cock or dick like a regular person? Also, just because men enjoy (again) something that actually looks sexy and feminine, doesn’t mean we want too look like a little girl’s. That is so disgusting to think about. I don’t know why you would even try to compare them, because they’re not even close. You don’t even know what men consider to be a pretty pussy. The best looking pussy I’ve seen had inner lips sticking out like a flower, except instead of it being all wrinkly and grey like an old lady’s it was nice and smooth and pink. It was glorious.

  105. Wow, this thread has shocked me. Julie, please seriously consider leaving this horribly abusive person. You deserve pure joy in your life. He is taking it away from you, one word at a time. It’s dangerous.

    About labia and penises. You know, just what is it that is so wrong with natural? I really like uncircumcised men. I think the extra skin is beautiful. Like a house for the penis. Men should leave their penises alone and be proud of what they are born with. And we women should do the same. Why alter what nature gave us? Big labia, small labia….It’s there to love. That simple.

  106. I found a website called vaginasoftheworld.tumblr.com. If anyone is self-conscious of their vagina, I suggest you look at this website. Just found it last night.. and it has helped me so much it’s ridiculous. Turns out this article is right, every woman’s vulva is beautiful!

  107. I am in my twenties and have never had sex with a man, but have done so much of everything else (mostly to myself), starting at a very young age, that my inner labia is darker and pokes out. I find it extremely unattractive, and I fear I’ll never be able to be intimate with a man, because when I tell them I’m a virgin.. they’ll expect everything to look ‘perfect’ down there and then encounter a big surprise. I’m an outgoing person and am comfortable with how I look everywhere BUT “down there”, so I meet many men that I’m interested in and have no trouble getting asked out on dates (not saying that to be boastful, I’m just illustrating my life), but I rarely go on more than two dates with the same guy because I’m terrified of what they’ll think of me when we take that next step. As a result, I have very many guy friends because that takes away the pressure of intimacy, but it also forces me to listen to ‘guy talk’ all the time, only talking about sex and ‘ugly vaginas’ that they’ve encountered. I join in and laugh, but little do they know… So I’ve come to the conclusion that I may just have to stay single forever. I’m not unhappy about that idea, but at the same time I wouldn’t mind sharing my life with someone either!

    I liked reading this and knowing about other people’s experiences. It helped a bit.. however many people are talking about how everything turned “ugly” after having had children, and evidently I have not gone through that, so my anxiousness remains and probably will for a very long time.

  108. Until women grow up and realize that uncircumcised men are normal, then men will have every right to call women out on their less-than-pornstar-like vulvas.

    IF men are required to have their genitals maimed to suit scummy women, then it’s only fair that men demand the same “quality”.

  109. The truth:

    Everybody is self-conscious. I hit the gym 15-20 hours a week to keep myself feeling like I’m in top form, both in the bedroom and out of it. That’s pretty much a part-time job right there. I don’t really even use it for anything like sport, just to keep up appearances.

    Let’s face it – my peers are mostly children. They won’t grow up til their in the 30s and even then, it could still take some time. Do what you need to do to feel confident, comfortable and safe. If that means making a guy wait 2-3 months before putting out, then do that. At least then you know he will love you regardless.

    I was with the wrong girl a few years ago – everything about her appearances repulsed me. Another girlfriend was extremely beautiful, but the only time we had as a couple was pretty much in the bedroom, We had no contact. Don’t stop – learn from your experiences and search for the right partner. We are all different.

  110. i hate my vulva with a passion. i’ve never seen anything uglier in my entire life. i look at it and just want to stab it. i could cry just thinking about it. i was as young as 12 when my friend told me something was wrong with me when she saw it because my inner labia sag so low. also thanks to a few men that let me know how they felt about it. if i saw a man with an ugly penis, i’d at least have the decency to pretend i cared for it instead of bashing him for the way he looks and telling all of his friends.

  111. Women need to stop thinking so much. 84% of vaginas are beautiful, no matter the profile. Suprise keeps life interesting. Case in point, I’m attracted to many strictly naked females

  112. It is strange but but I met my ex-wife at her age 33 and a virgin! Yes her vagina was like you see in porn movies but after we had two kids, it also flabbed out like you describe yours. But that had no influence in our relationship. After a while I noticed that she was becomming self conscious about it. First she got very jealous and I had no right to call my secretary about any job issue etc. I tried to find out what was going on but she wouldn’t tell me. Then she got violent. She is a big basket ball player and an expert swimmer. I cannot bear any thing in the domain of violence. I am a soldier and a master in the martial arts. Any mistake with my fingers would result in something I did not foresee so I hate violence in all its forms. One day, she exploded that I have a young secretary because I want “fresh pussy”. The realization rained down on me; I have never ever Never NEVER said nor behaved insolent towards her. And I have never dated my secretary, besides she met that girl under my orders.
    In any case, what I want you julie to know is that you must leave your husband immediately. Vagina has never been any reason for divorce or contempt.
    Next thing: guys myst understand that WOMAN is more conscious about her looks. Woman is eaSY TO BREAK BY A LITtle harsh word. Even if it is usual for women to mock our little cocks or big cocks etc, we wan withstand that more than they can. It you give back to a woman the same insult she gives you, you are sure to make her cry. So, for the respect of humanity, for the respect of woman who gave birth to us all, I request that we males, be kind to the women, even if they are sometimes harsh on us.
    I am divorced now, but it is not a vagina problem. My girl at this moment is a 46 YO and mother of 4. She got long inner lips and I love her so bad, I get dizzy with sucking on the long lips. She likes it. Julie, leave that imp, fast!!! There is someone out there who will have you with all that is JULIE. Your vagina is not ugly!!! Hey, c’mon!! SHAPE-TIGRESS AND ENJOY LIFE

  113. This article has really helped me out, i always thought my vagina was god damned ugly and abnormal compared to-yes- porn models, and i worried about what any future partner might say or if they’d be too turned off to do it with me.therefore i kinda resolved to always have the lights firmly off when i do start having sex.
    i used to neat up the area and trim it low, but ever since seen one on tv, i’ve let the bush grow tall, and trust me its longggggggg. and i even considered bleaching the area cause i’m brown yet that area is darker and that really disturbed me, i might still bleach the area out to have even toned colouring but no surgeries are in my future since i love the idea of extra chances for pleasure!

  114. good guy

    male pity chauvinist is as bad as feminist pig btw. I see it 50|50 when it come to appearance but an ugly guy still got more chance.

  115. Guys get ripped on their package size way more than women do on this and you KNOW people.Heck judging a guy on his size has been the butt of jokes for decades and now is socially acceptable and seen as female empowerment by many.Bash away we know you will and we know you enjoy it! We also know that women are often some of the biggest hypocrites,sexists and cruel,heartless beings on earth.Some of us have proven this,yet it is always the women who get round table discussions on how THEY can feel better about themselves.

  116. Julie, leave him, take the twins and go for a friends or family or even a hostel (he may not be physically aggressive as yet(or is he?) but this is definitely emotional abuse and I would imagine services for domestic abuse wouldn’t make the distinction and a verbally abusive man is likely to become physically abusive if he is allowed to get away with it) find some free or cheap advice on divorce and child maintenance and custody etc. I’m in the UK so I can’t recommend organisations who will help you but I’m sure someone else reading this will know. If it were me I wouldn’t want someone like this influencing my children, if you have boys they will learn that they can treat women this way, if girls they learn that a woman has to put up with this and may end up abused themselves later in life or your husband may turn his vitriol onto your children.. For your own sake and your childrens you need to leave this toxic man, no-one deserves this kind of treatment.

  117. Johnny,
    You are right about nasty names. Some are just more humiliating than others. I nevet imagined in a million years that my body could be used against me in this way. I used to be so happy. Maybe someday Ill afford surgery. As for the girlfriend, shes perfect in every way. Trust me, Ive been forced to see it. Thanks for your words of encouragment.

  118. ^ Also – vagina-related nasty names aren’t the only names he calls you, am I right? That’s not the only thing he’s mean to you about, is it? Point is, it’s not your vagina. It’s HIM.

  119. ^ Another man WOULD love you. Not “anyway.” Just plain, another man would love you. Hell, if the new guy were just a negligent, thoughtless, emotionally absent, sexually inept slob, he’d still be a step up from the guy you’ve got now.

    Seriously though, your “husband” is abusing you regularly, and his girlfriend is up next. He’s a cruel person. Imagine the effect this is going to have on your twins. You can’t live like this. You have to leave.

  120. For the last 3 years of my 6 yr marriage I have lived with this shame. After the birth of my twins my vagina looks different… He makes sure I know it every day. Blown Out. Roast Beef. Wrinkley, saggy cunt. Looks like you have a dick instead of a pussy. Bolonga lips. I could go on for years with the things he has to say to me. Sometimes I think a different man would love me anyway… But from these comments, it appears that is untrue. I am 28 years old. My husband has a girlfriend because my vagina is too ugly. I will never have sex again.

  121. I am one of hopefully the many women out there who is discourages with how our area looks. When i first noticed my problem i thought i would grow into it but i didnt. I have come to realize that it will never go away. I feel like men compare us true women to the porn models. It hurts me a lot to know that I am not good enough for men. I just want to find a guy who loves my body completely and rather look at me then porn 🙁

  122. ^ It probably is porn’s fault.

    I guess I was a little put off the first time I experienced larger, darker inner labia. My mental trick was to go tactile. Close my eyes and think about how it felt against my fingers. She was so wet, and there was so much to play with, and it felt great. Two minutes later I was going down on her and loving it, and this was never a problem for me again.

    Good thing, too, because I tend to date exotic women. Darker labes come with the territory. Why would a woman whose skin is brown everywhere else have a pink pussy!? Ridiculous to be surprised by that.

  123. Spare of thought for the men of this world, like myself and Marcus.

    I have been involved with two women in my recent past, both of whom I cared for very much. Both had Brazilian waxes, but one had an enlarged inner labia and one didn’t. When I found it difficult to “perform” for the girl with the enlarged inner labia I thought something was wrong with me! She is absolutely gorgeous too, so it got me thinking; has years of watching porn (as males do) conditioned me to only find the “perfect” type of vagina attractive?

    As it turns out it, yes it probably has. It was something I just couldn’t get past. I would literally lose wood if I looked at it. I felt too embarrassed to say anything to her, I instead pretended to enjoy it and have since moved on. To this very day she does not know how I felt about it and why, I wouldn’t even know how to begin such a conversation.

    This, ladies, is the male psyche. Sure we can be judgmental assholes and have unrealistic expectations but please remember we can not help it sometimes either!

  124. I am almost 60 years old. I have been with a fair amount of woman in my life. All colors and persuasions. I have never seen a vagina that I did not grow to love and adore. Because it was a part of the woman I had grown to love and adore.

    Occasionally a few had very strong aroma, but it was usually a medical condition from poor body chemistry balanced (caused by diet or stress) or a yeast infection. I always gently discussed with my girlfriend and with a little attention the issue was resolved.

    Other than that long lips, small lips, large amount of hair, sparse hair, I never consider this organ could ever be considered “ugly”.

    NOTE: The current trend to shave the vulva totally turns me off. I don’t want to be with a prepubescent girl I want to be with a woman. And the 5 o’clock stubble really sucks.

  125. My first partner had a naturally “perfect female genitalia” as far as color, shape, size, smell et al. Her’s looked remarkably like the porn ideal. We were together for a long time, and after we broke up, it took me an embarrassingly long period to be with another partner. I only have been with a handful of women, and I am in my 30s. I just couldn’t help being put off by the sights and smells of the more common female genitalia. Please understand, I am not a snob. I just can’t help what I feel, and I have paid dearly for my narrow preference, let me assure you. Since my 1st relationship, sex has been something I put up with to have a relationship. I went to therapy, but it didn’t help much. I have never made any woman self conscious about her genitalia no matter how godawful I felt about it. This my cross to bear in life. I have missed out for most of my adult years on one of life’s greatest pleasures that for me was transformed into something that I grudgingly endure. Most of my male friends had a remarkably pleasurable sojourn with many women and that reminds me of what I have missed out on.

    So ladies, if he does not like what your lady parts look like, he is the one who is going to have to suffer. If he is looking for a good woman who also has a “perfect genitalia”, he can look a lifetime and not find one.

  126. ..the people (men and women) who scrutinize the most when it comes to t-t size,weight,
    d-ck size,looks etc..are usually the ones who can’t really afford to be picky and are are often so nasty they themselves couldn’t get laid in a brothel.

  127. I myself had this problem. My confidence got so low that I cried when guys would even joke about “ugly vaginas” around me. I thought they were making fun of me when none of them had even seen my vagina. I went to my GYNO and had a Labirctomy (getting them cut) and it was the most painful after healing process I’ve ever gone through. Now I am back to normal and have full sexual feeling in my vagina. My labia is still slightly sticking out but way less then it was. My boyfriend didn’t care either way but I am way more confident during sex now.

  128. After seeing many vulva, I find most are what I would call, ugly. Not trying to say personal hurt. Just as a whole, compared to every other part of the female body, which is beautiful, I find that evolution forgot about making the vulva, a desirable organ, for the eyes. No argument on the taste, smell, or touch of vulva. Even some guys bits hard to look at. Time to go back to sex in the dark.

  129. Um…I got news for you. If you find vulvas to be unattractive, then perhaps, fellas, you are gay.

    Bottom line, though. Who cares what genitals (of either sex) look like. If you find yourself attracted to another person enough to want to engage in sex, who in their right mind stops to inspect the goods and judge them? Aren’t you overcome with horniness, lust and passion? Aren’t you thrilled to be with the person – body, mind, heart and soul?

    If not, then perhaps you should keep it zipped and go back to trawling on the Internet for airbrushed pics of naked bits.

  130. I read up to the 10 reasons and didn’t even have to go on. Sorry, but there are some god awful looking vaginas. In fact, most of them look like serrated wounds. Though not the fault of the “owner” it’s by no means beautiful just because it’s from nature, etc.. Just accept some things in life are hideous and leave it at that.

  131. Personally, I like women natural. I like some bush so I know I am having sex with a WOMAN,not a child. Much more of a turn on.

    Secondly, I like a nice set of lips. More for me to suck on and lick. I want to pleasure a real woman.

    Labia are highly variable, but all are beautiful. Skip the labiaplasty.

    Check out sexylabia.com. You can see some nice lips there.

  132. Well I love to eat corndogs with mustard…honestly eat a freaking napkin with mustard..as far as the whole labia thing…they are all beautiful.

  133. Your article is spot-on. I think labia minora that protrude past the labia majora are actually the norm. I have no idea why the thinner variety is seen as more desirable; in my humble opinion, larger labia are gorgeous to look at and incredibly erotic during cunnilingus. At the risk of coming across as a bit crude, larger labia offer more to roll around with ones tongue when going down. I Love It!

  134. I too have a very visible pair of inner lips which stick out of my outer lips. I did have one very immature boyfriend who said that my vagina wasn’t pretty and I then told him, since it wasn’t pretty, there was no need for him to come near it again and kicked him out.
    He got the point.

    Besides him, I never ever got comments from anyone else.

  135. Right. Why the hell should it matter what they look like of you love someone? Think about it..you wouldn’t leave someone coz of their nose or their face shape or something like that! And if you would then you shouldn’t have been with them in the first place! I just don’t think that people should be so judgemental about it. If I was truly in love with someone I wouldn’t care about the size of his penis. I think people who do care personally are shallow idiots. Preferences are fine, but you don’t have to completely mould your life around it.

  136. meh English is not my first language so sorry for the bad grammar lol. Still each their own. but I still find it weird that some can find a vag unattractive and be turn off, I didn’t hear much of a lady being turned off by a dick. oh well guess we shouldn’t care for those people! the number of time I’ve heard a women get labiaplasty because of what some guys/bf thinks! still a small % does it for medical reason but really its sad to see this kind of surgery on the rise. They aren’t doing it for themselves 95% of the time.

  137. like grammar for instance? just kidding. Im with Mike… there is such a thing as an ugly Vag and it most undoubtedly can turn you off. Although, admittedly I am such a horn dog I would just kill the lights and we’re good to go within seconds…My wife has an ultra pretty (yes these exist too) “wizard sleeve” (never heard that before, had to try using it at least once) and it rocks! Im lucky, and happy, and you really should be jealous. Life on this side of the fence is sooooo much better. The grass really IS greener… trust me.

  138. So you can all sit here and say how “no matter what its beautiful” in fairytale land but if you want to come back to reality not everything is beautiful that’s something parents and teachers just don’t teach anymore.

    I think parent and teacher have better thing to teach you know…

  139. think of what you want mike, but this attitude is not normal. to be turn off by the way a vagina look? really? its like some women are turn off by the size, shape foreskin of the penis, that even more stupid?

    most guy think that when a vag look this way, it’s because the girl is promiscuous loose and so on. this is the most mentality of guy who watches to much porn, sorry nothing against its but its the reality.

    porn is for arousal not for reality. when young inexperience nerdy boy watch to much of it, well they can handle any type of vag they see. that IMO is mess up.

    have preference for anything but having preference for someone genital? really? have we stoop this low? I’m pretty sure your ex-gf is better off you.

  140. First let me take the wind out of everyone’s sails…I’m a dick, pig, shallow, jerk…etc and you may find grammatical errors all over this. Now that everyone can feel better with a label let me be honest. There is such a thing as an ugly vagina. Oh my God is there. I’m not trying to be mean, really I’m not. I just want to be honest. My last girlfriend had the ugliest vagina ever and she wanted me to always go down on her. It’s like if my dick had scales I wouldn’t tell her to go down on me. Anyway…there is such a thing and (though most wont admit) it’s a total turn off. Now, if I met a girl who was perfect in every way would I leave her because her vag looked like the sleeve of a wizard? No, I wouldn’t but for the average girl. It shouldn’t matter but it does. So you can all sit here and say how “no matter what its beautiful” in fairytale land but if you want to come back to reality not everything is beautiful that’s something parents and teachers just don’t teach anymore.

  141. So, are you saying that “short” labia that don’t protrude past the outer labia look like a little girl’s? Doesn’t that make you just as bad as the people that say long labia are ugly?
    Secondly, I bet if the website had said “small clitorises are feminine, big clitorises are unfeminie”, you would agree with that. Even though you say you believe that “all vulvas are beautiful.” It’s the good old double standard.

  142. Orly, lets leave the expertise on porn to me. Now an asshole usually looks the same, but a vagina is pretty much like a second, very unique, face. And when you love someone, you love staring deeply face to face.

    Granted, if your “only” trying to hook up with the hottest ass around, then yes you will be judged. But nobody falls in love based on a point scale. I hope.

  143. well not on most popular porn site! size should not matter. man with smaller pen are more active in bed and know how to please i’m pretty sure! why should the size of labia or penis be important for some people? people think guy with smaller penis are not good in bed and women with large labia are loose and promiscuous or dirty. they think an uncut peen or large labia look unclean! what kind of stupid mentality is that. the number of discussion board I’ve read about this is very discouraging 🙁

  144. Orly, I see a lot of different vagina in porn, of all sizes. I don’t think it should bother anyone, but there are definitely women who will not sleep with a man with small penis.

  145. This is odd. Considering how much women put into penis size, fasination with balls, cut/uncut, undecended testicles, cancer surgery removals, etc… how can you possibly complain about this? Or even point the finger at a guy who would judge this without pointing the finger at women who do the same thing, and a lot more frequently?
    Why complain about something you do worse?

    two WRONG doesn’t it make it right. they is not much women like that. that kind of surgery is not on the rise but labiaplasty is. you see in porn penis of all size but not vagina. woman who act this way are equally stupid.

  146. Yeah stfu and quit complaining ladies..78.8% of all suicides in america are MALES!!..of whom many im sure feel worthless and have self-esteem and body issues due to the media and unrealistic standards put on them by WOMEN.So be a little nicer to us okay? Thanks

    are you serious? because of that women should be critize and rejected by the look of their vagina? i’ve seen maybe thin pretty women with fat guy. ok this is a serious problem for male suicide, and need to be resolved. we need more mental treatment available therapy etc. but cant you tell me what unrealistic standards you are talking about?

  147. Men, who aren’t self aggrandizing assholes who are too caught up in their own attractiveness for their own good, love vagina. You are what you look like, and there is no objective “beautiful” vagina. Don’t get me wrong, some women look perfect. However, I jack off too perfect and have sex with women. I want my girl to have the confidence of a porn star in bed WITH me. Not look like a recreation of a porn star.

  148. Yeah stfu and quit complaining ladies..78.8% of all suicides in america are MALES!!..of whom many im sure feel worthless and have self-esteem and body issues due to the media and unrealistic standards put on them by WOMEN.So be a little nicer to us okay? Thanks

  149. oh my god! this article has busted my self-esteem up. somewhat.
    i am so self-conscious about my “ugly vagina” my inner labia is like way more out than the outer one. like seriously way more out. and it looks like roast beef (dark roast beef) and oh my God!!! it pisses me off when im wearing jeans and it itches. i told my doctor about it and she said it was totally normal and even took a look at it (did it make me feel better? no.) I have been with my boyfriend for almost two years and i am ready to make love with him but i am scared he gets grossed out :(. he has like a 10inch penis… and i…. i have an ugly vagina :(…. my body is nice, not the sexiest but not the ugliest… i have a nice body… i hope he appreciates my body and my vulva when we make love and doesnt get like grossed out :/… <3

  150. This is odd. Considering how much women put into penis size, fasination with balls, cut/uncut, undecended testicles, cancer surgery removals, etc… how can you possibly complain about this? Or even point the finger at a guy who would judge this without pointing the finger at women who do the same thing, and a lot more frequently?
    Why complain about something you do worse?

  151. @zuh : so if a girl is pretty and have a nice personality you wouldn’t be intimate with her because of her large labia? I agree with your feminist comment but come on. have we sunk this low? trust me I don’t mine the size of the guy and how its look a very few girl does. I doubt you have been intimate with someone in your life.
    its pretty sad people are judging in the appearance of other private part, women who does the same thing with guy is equally wrong. its doesn’t make sense: you are physically attracted to that person but the second you see her part its a turn off and you don’T want any?? yup p*rn does that.

  152. Honestly this is all opinion. I am a women and I get waxed and shave the “plucked chicken look” and you know what my partner loves it. its not to look like a 7 year old girl. I hate body hair and its what I like to do. I’m not trying to demean myself like this article is trying to make it seem. Its not fucked up and its quite immature to think portray other preferences as such!

  153. @Melanie: Why is it a privilege to be near a woman’s genitals? Comments like that show the fundamental sexism most women have.

    This whole post is kind of steeped in it. I don’t like women with vaginas that have labia and what not all over. I think it looks gross. When I encounter these women, I don’t freak out and tell them they need to get that fixed or anything, but I usually extricate myself from that situation as delicately as possible.

    Shame on the author for condemning people who feel the same as I do. People all have their own tastes and just because you’re a woman doesn’t mean a guy should be grateful he’s even getting any.

    The only point that needs to be made to respond to the woman’s original concern is that some people are jerks and that’s something that crosses the gender barrier.

  154. Any man close enough to form an opinion about your vulva should be pretty damned grateful for the privilege.

  155. I asked my ex about his preferences, and he just looked at me like I said the stupidest thing ever, and asked why it would even matter, he would be with someone because he loved them, not what her vagingo looked like. It seems that a lot of guys don’t notice much difference.

  156. Well…women beat the crap out of guys all over the internet about penis size.That topic is used for misandry fodder and the the butt of jokes on sitcoms,in stand up comedy,movies,infomercials,radio spots,porn and an ace card for ultra-feminist types.What about the term “man up” ? ive heard women use this on guys.If a guy says something similar to a female he is a “useless,sexist,misogynistic pig that doesn’t deserve a woman”.Also,some women watch too much porno and have zero clue to what the average size package is so its kinda hard to reipricate alot of respect when many guys receive none themselves.

  157. I find it hard to understand how men can be so judgemental about women and then expect us to be nice to them and treat them like gods. At the end of the day we are all different and that is what makes us beautiful, not this sculpting to make us all look the same. If certain men can’t deal with it then forget about them, and if they’re being really insulting delivering a few home truths to them might give ’em enough of a shock for them to think twice.

  158. I am one of the girls blessed with the longer inner labia and, I’ve never heard anyone say they had a problem with it thankfully. It’s fine to have a preference I guess, but only and asshat would go and make fun of someone for how their body looks naturally. My boyfriend loves my labia! And I love his uncut, points off to the side when erect (and awesome) penis.

  159. ^ good call, seashell, and another reason why I favor gender-separated sex ed. Boys should not be given the same talk.

    “Some of you will develop great big swinging dicks… others, not so much. And some of you will not grow an inch – that’s called a micropenis. But hey, don’t worry! It’s all normal!”

    That’s the last thing boys need on their minds as they enter adolescence.

  160. My husband literally looks like Chris Hemsworth from Thor. I am not lying, he is 6’4 chiseled, and has the same face as him. Point being, I have one of those ‘ugly’ vaginas, and mine don’t protrude slightly, it is pretty damn visible. Well when my husband then boyfriend saw them he didn’t care. Yes at first he wasn’t sure what to do with them as he hadn’t seen that type before but it didn’t make him feel disgusted or anything. And he is a gorgeous man. Oh, and I had a friend who told me the same comments about kebabs and roast beef and how it is a turn off when I was in college. He was a 5’9 nothing special bloke who was nothing like a stone cold hunk of a man nor had the experience and prowess my now husband had. So think about the type of men who get turned off or care about it…

  161. I think girls should be educated about the way their vulva will develop when they are educated about periods. In the long list of ‘puberty changes’ I was given at school, changes in the vulva were not listed. Because of this, I was a bit scared when mine started to grow.

    Like Em and Lo said, there is a difference between a little girl’s vulva and a mature woman’s. Its normal, and the earlier we start telling young women this, the better.

  162. I mean… there’s nothing wrong with having preferences. On the other hand, there’s no reason anyone needs to be with someone who doesn’t like the way they are.

    Also… I hope the “Do sleep with men who feel self-conscious about their penises” comment was a joke? Men are already insecure enough – nearly everyone is, regardless of gender, and it’s not any funnier because it’s not the group that normally gets pegged for it.

  163. I can definitely relate to this article. I have long inner labia as well. I used to be really self conscious about it before I started having sex, but once I got with my boyfriend (my only sex partner), I started feeling a little better about it. He says he likes the way it feels & sometimes plays with it. 😛

    Unfortunately, there are always going to be guys with preferences, but there are also a lot of guys who really don’t care.

  164. Well, to put things in another context: I’ve known girls refuse to have sex with “uncut” guys. I’ve known girls who complain about ugly penises on their sexual partners.

    Fact is people have tastes in genitalia.

  165. I have longer inner labia… and my boyfriend says I have the most beautiful pussy he’s ever seen… more to play with! 🙂

  166. One of the reasons that a lot of magazines do not feature vulvae with long inner labia is because censors deem it too “explicit”. Having an “explicit” vulva is pretty hot if you think about it.

  167. One of the reasons that a lot of magazines feature do not feature vulvae with long inner labia is because censors deem it too “explicit”. Having an “explicit” vulva is pretty hot if you think about it.

  168. Cast your fears away, what you describe is actually what I and many men prefer. And even if we didn’t prefer it – we still love it!!

  169. I had a girlfriend who was self-conscious about her darker, longer inner labes. I truly, really did not care or ever think of her vagina – oops, I mean vulva – as ugly.

    Your friend is a crass jackass. Personal preference aside (which I don’t judge him for, we all have ’em), only an asshole makes a comment like that knowing that any woman in the room might look that way.

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