Dear Em & Lo
Dear Em & Lo
Dear Em & Lo: I’m Put Out About His Porn

There is a long-standing debate over whether porn is good for you or bad for you. We received two questions from straight women decidedly in the “bad for you” camp. So we “remixed” our Wise Guys’ thoughts on the topic with some of our own to come up with advice for straight women disturbed by […]

Dear Em & Lo
Can I Lead a Full Life Without Sex?

Dear Em & Lo, I’m 34 and I’ve never had a boyfriend. I was molested as a child and raped as an adult. I’ve never had consensual sex. Yet I have intensely sexual dreams. I’ve had years of counseling, but the fear of having a sexual relationship remains. I isolate myself from men.  The only […]

What's Up Doc?
Terrified of Going to the Gyno? 4 Tips from a Real Doctor (Part 2 of 2)

As two women who’ve had some experience on the receiving end of a speculum, we offered some advice to one reader about how to get over her fear of visiting a gynecologist. Below, actual-gynecologist Dr. Kate tries to further allay her fears as a woman who’s spent her career on the giving end. You’re not […]

Dear Em & Lo
Terrified of Going to the Gyno? 8 Ways to Relax Enough to Make Your Appointment

Hey Em and Lo, I know how important it is to see a gyno, but honestly, I am terrified to go.  I’ve actually made several appointments since I lost my virginity about nine months ago, but every time the date approaches, I find myself canceling last minute.  I’ve tried positive thinking, ignoring thoughts of the […]

Dear Em & Lo
Should I Be Concerned About My Rape Fantasies?

Dear Em & Lo, I’m writing to ask you about your opinion of rape fantasies. I’ve been in a serious and loving relationship with my boyfriend for almost four years now. It’s a very egalitarian, loving, supportive and comfortable relationship. Yet both my boyfriend and I immensely enjoy acting out rape fantasies. We enjoy having […]

Dear Em & Lo
Help! I Can’t Orgasm with My Boyfriend

Dear Em & Lo, I’m a woman and have been dating my boyfriend for five months and we have a great relationship…well, almost great. When we have sex, I have a hard time crossing the finish line. We’ve tried many positions and everything feels great. I just can’t orgasm with my boyfriend. It’s at the point […]

Dear Em & Lo
Dear Em & Lo, Is “Cunt” an Appropriate Word for Dirty Talk?

Dear Em & Lo, Hello there. This morning for the first time, my new boyfriend and I fucked. It was going okay until he came out with the word “cunt.”  I froze. Maybe it’s just me, but, I always blush at this word. Now, he wants me to use it when, or rather if, we […]

Dear Em & Lo
Dear Em & Lo: Were We Ever Really in Love?

Dear Em & Lo, Four months ago my girlfriend of three years ended our relationship. She gave me generic reasons: “It’s not you, it’s me; we’re too young for such a serious relationship; we have a lot to experience.” Finally this week I got her to drop her guard and open up to me. Her […]

Dear Em & Lo
My New Boyfriend Has a Small Penis…At Least, It’s Small to Me

Dear Em & Lo, About six months ago I broke up with my boyfriend of 18 months and have recently met someone new. The other day the new boy and I were engaging in some hands-on action which led me to discover that he nowhere near measured up to my ex. The new boy was […]

Dear Em & Lo
My Boyfriend Masturbates to Facebook Friends — Is That Normal?

Dear Em & Lo, My ex and I were in a relationship for just over 2 years. We broke up recently as he preferred to masturbate to his friends Facebook photos than have sex with me. I had known about it all throughout the relationship and tried to get him to stop. It really killed […]

Dear Em & Lo
10 Ways to Increase Your Chances of Female Orgasm WITH a Partner

One of the most common questions we receive from heterosexual women is, “How can I orgasm in bed with my partner?” The really demanding ones want to know how to orgasm simultaneously, during penetration, every time. If this is you, then sorry, you’re out of luck; if we knew the answer to that question, we’d […]

Dear Em & Lo
Dear Em & Lo, Can I Get Trichomoniasis From Masturbation?

Dear Em & Lo, If I masturbate 3 times a day 7 days a week and haven’t had a real sex partner in over a year, can I get trichomoniasis? — Red Handed Dear RH, Trichomoniasis is a sexually transmitted infection caused by a protozoan parasite called Trichomonas vaginalis, most commonly passed from genitals to genitals. […]

Dear Em & Lo
10 Reasons Your “Ugly Vagina” Is Normal and Gorgeous

There’s no such thing as an “ugly vagina.” Here’s why… Dear Em & Lo, A male acquaintance recently started a conversation about “ugly” vaginas with my friends and me. He said that some vaginas resemble “kebabs” and that a lot of guys are really put off sex when they get a hot girl naked and […]

Dear Em & Lo
Dear Em & Lo, How Can I Get Back at My Boyfriend for Dumping Me So Cruelly?

Dear Em & Lo, I thought my boyfriend and I had a good relationship: we lived together, I took care of him, I took care of everything.  He said no one took care of him like I did, even though he’d had plenty of women before me. I thought we were happy. But he found […]

Dear Em & Lo
Dear Em & Lo, What Books Are a Good Intro to Open Relationships?

Dear Em & Lo, I would like to find literature that I can give to my wife,  on encouraging her to pursue non-monogamous relationships, as this could be good for our relationship. We are a mature couple and I think she and we could benefit from this. Thanks kindly, Open-Minded Dear O.M., First, are you […]