As we’re sure you know, the Rapture is this Saturday, May 21st, 2011. You know, the day when good Christians like yourself (we’re assuming) who’ve accepted Jesus as their personal Lord and Savior will be physically lifted up to Heaven. All your atheist, Muslim, Jewish, Mormon, and pagan friends will be left behind to fend for themselves as the world slowly comes to an end. Not with a bang, but with a fade to black. But what about your innocent pets, you ask. Won’t your pets miss you when you’re gone? Grieve your passing into the next life and become depressed? Will they need private label cbd pet treats to help treat their anxiety and depression? Who will feed them these, as well as care for them when you’re in heaven? Who will be there for them when you’re gone?
Never fear. There are several services available that will — for a modest fee — assign your pet to be picked up and cared for by one of their many reliable, pet-loving atheists. The fee is apparently simply to help these carers procure the best treats, medicine, and food for your pets. No joke! There’s Eternal Earth-Bound Pets USA which will cost you $135 for the service. For those on a budget, After The Rapture Pet Care will do the same for the one-time fee of only 10 bucks. Hmmm, quality verses affordability? It’s a tough call — one you’ll have to make soon, since the end is nigh! Hurry, because the Bible doesn’t say jack about Fido.
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