photo by KrappR

• Hugh Jackman proves he’s worthy of the Sexiest Man Alive title by staying married to his (let’s just say it) less attractive wife, being cool to work with, putting on the first decent Oscars opening in a long time, and giving Barbara Wawa a lap dance as if she wasn’t 100 years old.
• Gawker compiles clips of Academy Award-winning actresses’ “Oscargasms.”
• Speaking of orgasms, Lisa “Life Preserver Lips” Rinna gets a little Oh-y over Valentino on the red carpet.
• “Milk” is a winner (in more ways than one) and best actor Sean Penn and best original screenplay writer Dustin Lance Black give inspired acceptance speeches about equal rights.
• Billy Crudup’s penis as the blue and naked Doctor Manhattan in the movie version of the graphic novel Watchmen is uncharacteristically large. And this is a problem…?
• Megalomaniacal Kanye West characteristically over-exaggates his normal sex drive into a full-blown sexual addiction.
• Jeff Koons is creating a 161-foot sculpture that resembles a crane lifting a giant penis train that ejaculates steam for 26 million dollars. A little perspective: the Lincoln Memorial is 19 feet tall. Twenty-six million is what the Red Cross said was needed to feed millions of hungry Africans in Zimbabwe last summer.
• Beating up your girlfriend is some really fucked up shit.